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#Confidencehacker Confidence Can Be Faked

Three simple techniques to turn your vulnerability into your superpower

By Kim AdelePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Turning your vulnerability into a superpower. Three simple techniques to fake it till you make it when it comes to confidence

I was talking this week with some fabulous friends and we got talking about confidence and about how our lack of confidence can very often be the thing that gets in our way. I meet so many people who have confidence issues and believe that they are somewhat alone, they look around and perceive others to not be feeling that sometimes crippling self-doubt; and yet, the truth is we are all of us vulnerable in some way, we all have something we hope others don’t find out about in vase it is used against us.

We were debating just this belief and what was fascinating was that in my friend's eyes I don’t ever struggle with confidence issues, that I am always comfortable in every situation, that I seem to be happy and smiling and able to talk to pretty much anybody. That I was fearless. Wow quite a word, I may appear to them as fearless but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth I live most days in fear; fear of getting things wrong, fear of other people’s opinion, and I guess for me the greatest fear and therefore the one that pushes me on is fear of missing out. It got me thinking about the journey I have been on over the last 46 years. How for so many of those years, on so many occasions, I realised that you have to ‘fake it till you make it’ when it comes to confidence, that you have to find a way to outwardly project the confidence that you don’t have.

Here are my top three tips to put in your armour.

Tip One – Smile

The first is always have a big smile because if you have a big smile on your face, people don’t look past it. They don’t look past to see whether or not you are scared, or frightened or sad, they just take it at face value and they smile back. You can’t smile at somebody and not get a smile back, not eventually, not if it is real and that automatically makes it easier to break the ice.

Tip Two – Dress Confident

The second thing is on all the days when I feel less confident, of which there are many, I wear much brighter lipstick and much brighter clothes because again the perception is that if you are wearing bright clothes, wearing bright lipstick, you are confident and comfortable in your skin. Even when you are not.

Tip Three – Your Vulnerability can become your Superpower

The third and perhaps the most important for me, was how you turn your vulnerability into your superpower. My biggest vulnerability is fear of other people’s opinion, fear that people won’t like me, that they will think that I am full of myself or that I have nothing of relevance or that I am just a nuisance. That has always been a massive concern and as a result of that you start to fear other people’s opinion, you fear what they are thinking and what they are saying, and you stop yourself from putting yourself out there.

How owning your vulnerability can make you a better leader

The truth is all of us are vulnerable, all of us have something that we feel nervous about, feel vulnerable about. Once you recognise that, once you understand that that vulnerability could actually be your power, because by sharing that vulnerability, by opening yourself up, what you find is other people feel so much more comfortable to share their vulnerabilities. Particularly in leadership. So if as a leader you can be comfortable with your vulnerability and share that without losing your credibility, then that really opens up the doors to truly effective conversations, to a team that work with you that want to achieve your goals; that genuinely are in it with you and part of that one goal.

So what would you do if you knew that the thing that you feel most vulnerable about, was actually your super power, was no longer your kryptonite? What would you do differently, what impact would you have? Why don’t you try?

If you have found this useful and want to hear more about my journey and how it can help you gain confidence to overcome your imposter syndrome and taming your inner beast you might like to join me at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/351903022417849/ or at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrfSVRbLXR8

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