Compulsive Apologizing

How many times do you utter “I’m Sorry” in a typical day? If you track it, then I am sure you would be astonished at the end results. Especially in the workplace! Far to often people think that they need to apologize to smooth something over at work to keep in the ‘good graces’ or to simply stay on the payroll. Some people may very well feel less professional if they need to apologize often; but whose fault is that? There is such a thing as compulsive apologizing.

There are ways to apologize, without apologizing. If you just feel the need to express that sentiment; try it a different way and see it that still delivers the same results. Just do yourself a favor and remove “I’m Sorry” from your verbiage for a while and see how you feel.

Say ‘Thank You’ instead of the alternative. Since these situations generally happen within a work environment, think of it this way. If someone wants to know why something is not done yet; try this: ‘Thank you for your patience, it will be done by BLAH [give them a date/time]’ and leave it at that. There is no reason to apologize for doing your job. At this point you are probably stretched very thin at work, possibly covering for others, and literally running out of hours within your day. There is no need to apologize for going above and beyond for the people who pay you.

Actions speak louder than any words uttered. If something that you do is questioned; before murmuring “I’m Sorry” beat them to the punch and let them see you physically working on what they want. Are they going to stop you from completing it to ask you why it is not done? Chances are, they won’t. Now, there is no guarantee with that of course, but chances are good they will just move on and allow you to finish what you are doing. Because, after all, they are the ones who want it done.

Take a change of pace for now and imagine yourself in a company meeting. There is no reason to apologize for having an opinion or input in a meeting. No reason to say, “I’m Sorry, I have a question” or “I’m Sorry, could I add something” when you are genuinely trying to add value to the company you work for. All in all, you are legitimately trying to give information to the company that is paying you. They need your information just as much as you want to give it.

Apologizing, of course has its place, somewhere, just not everywhere. While in the workplace there will be times where things do not end as planned. Instead of slapping a compulsive apology on the situation you might want to add, “that ended differently” or “that plan fell through”. Grab your things and announce you are going back to the grind to make certain it does not flop twice. Get back on the grind of the day and make things happen not only for you, but for your company. Your persistence will be noticed.

One thing to be certain of in any situation where you initially think an apology is needed, it can probably go without one. Just ensure you stop and think, before you speak. There is one piece that people generally forget about, and that is the result of the conversation. Regardless of all else, any conversations with your coworkers need to end on a positive note. One of the best ways to ensure this happens is to ask for feedback or leave the conversation open to feedback. When people are asked for their feedback, they realize their opinions matter and they count! This is a great way to ensure people feel good, about themselves, and you.

Until Next Time.

#KristinaWrites

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