Comparing Yourself: 5 Good Reasons You Need To Stop

Do you often find yourself comparing your present with your life before? Or with your neighbor, your colleague, your high school friend, your mother, your sister, your idol, etc.

Maybe even with your own self? In the past?

If the answer is yes, then you are caught in the infernal spiral of comparison, a harmful habit that undermines your morale, your life and your self-esteem.

Here are 5 good reasons to stop comparing yourself!

Reason n°1: adopting a toxic habit that steals the joy

When you compare yourself, you set foot in a vicious cycle.

Comparison brings… comparison! You get - unconsciously - used to it and this habit will become second nature: to decide if you can be fully happy with your new haircut or your new job, you will fall back into the comparison cycle instead of relying on your personal judgment.

What to do instead?

Be aware each time you are comparing yourself and stop yourself.

Try to practice mindfulness in this case: bring your attention back to the present, and focus on what you can feel with your senses as opposed to what your mind may be thinking.

Feel instead of thinking.

Reason n°2: forgetting your successes

By comparing yourself, you tend to minimize everything you do. Admit it! Rarely do you compare favorably. You always find someone who has done better or faster than you! You are rarely a winner by comparing yourself and, as a result, you do not value yourself.

Your self-esteem and maybe even self-respect takes a hit.

And you may find yourself on the road to acquiring a new bad habit: perfectionism. Because in your head, that's the only way you'll be able to measure up to others and the high standards you keep raising for yourself.

What to do instead?

Congratulate yourself more often and take note of your successes without comparing them to those of others.

You can do this by putting everything into perspective and reminding yourself of your own notion of success and what really matters to you in life.

Reason n°3: Living in the past

My life was better 5 years ago...

I was more thin and beautiful...

I didn't have cellulite...

I had more money, more friends, more confidence..more, more, more...

These are the types of beliefs and thoughts that maybe be constantly playing in your head if you're prone to comparison.

Dwelling on the past though is a very toxic habit because it prevents you from moving forward and enjoying what you have now.

It makes you feel stuck.

What to do instead?

Make peace with your past. You liked it as it was but it's done and over... Now you are somewhere else. Further away. Different circumstances. Every time you go into comparisons with another era, pull yourself together and come back to the present by reminding yourself that the exterior circumstances have changed. Circumstances that are beyond your control. Focus instead on what you can control.

Reason n°4: being embarrassed about who you are

The more you compare yourself, the more you undermine your self-esteem. You even come to be embarrassed about who you are because you are never satisfied with yourself! Soon, if you're not careful, you won't dare anything for fear of failure.

This also can start being a vicious cycle: your self-esteem is low because of your comparisons so you don't dare to go after what you want by assuming you'll fail. Then, since you stay still, and do not move forward or achieve anything, your first belief that you're a failure compared to others gets reinforced.

What to do instead?

Simply dare.

Dare to do new things without waiting for others' approval or falling into the trap of comparing yourself.

Whenever you feel as if you're holding yourself back from jumping into new experiences and adventures with your "what ifs" and your comparisons, remind yourself of what could result from this vicious cycle and push yourself even harder to take a risk.

Start by daring to do small little things that you're uncomfortable doing.

Reason n°5: disliking your life

You are always between “looking forward to…” or “being nostalgic for…”, between remorse and regrets. But you don't take the time to appreciate what you have. When you compare yourself, you diminish your own worth. Your life always seems less interesting to you than that of others and, as a result, you like it less.

What to do instead?

Each night, write down three moments that you loved about your day. This gratitude journal will help you fall in love with your life all over again.

You can take it even further by writing a list of everything you're proud of having achieved so far in life.

I hope this post will make you more aware of all the reasons comparing yourself may be ruining your life, and help you switch to a more positive thinking pattern whenever you find yourself falling back into that trap.

Source: originally published on Simily