Bruised Not Broken

This is my fifth all girls conference. This year there was over 52 girls in attendance and our theme was I don't have dreams I have plans. Mindset is everything! Statistics show we have the highest drop out rates and even high teen pregnancy rates. What if we changed all that? What if we taught our young girls that they matter. What if we taught them they had power?

I am single mom of three who came from a single mom of three. I never had anyone in my life to teach me my worth, to give me life skills, to mentor me when I was puzzled about life. I had a very toxic upbringing. No one ever taught me to love myself or how it would affect me later in life because I never felt I mattered. I realize now all that does matter.

Now I focus my time on mentoring, motivating and loving those that need it most. Life still isn't perfect but definitely different than what it use to be. In 2010, I lost my 16 year old daughter to suicide. What a wake up call? I realize now all the information I needed but didn't have until my tribe showed up to help me. In my darkest hours, people in droves came out to help me and my family. I vowed I would pay it back until my last day on earth.

Now I spend my time teaching life skills, planning for the future and being a mindset coach. I realized that yes, my life taught me to be strong but it never taught me much else. I learned later on that my goals mattered, that I could of been a better parent. I learned that school was important and that I was settling for people and relationships in my life that were also toxic. I realized that there was someone out there who could love me unconditionally and be supportive of me without always expecting something in return.

The thing I realized most is I am not my life's events. That it is okay to be happy, to live, to love and to be accepting of me as I am flaws and all. Most of all I learned I don't need to change for anyone.

Growing up in a toxic household, I was yelled at, humiliated, and abused. I honestly thought this was normal. I didn't realize until I was in my later years that there were actually Mom's out there that hugged there kids, told them they loved them and supported them. I remember one of my friends telling me that she was surprised I didn't kill myself with everything I was going through. Worst part was because she didn't nurture me I duplicated the cycle. Problem was I didn't know how to be any different. As years went by I was angry, overwhelmed, not financially stable and just down right bitter. After one toxic relationship after another I was just done. Then I lost my daughter, I was completely lost.

That same year two other families also lost their children to suicide in this very community. It was definitely a wake up call. My brother started our not for profit shortly after. Since that time we have helped 1000's of kids use music and dance to express themselves in a positive light. A few years later I realized I wanted to do more, I wanted to change lives. Lives like mine, youth who were struggling but needed more so we started mentoring.

Since that time, my dream has grown to this and my goal is for it to get bigger every year. Greatest thing is every year girls leave this program but they always keep in touch. They know that whatever they need I will find a way to help, get resoures or sometimes even provide. So that they can accomplish the goals now and dream even bigger. So that they can be the first in their families to do more, see more and be more. So that they can break the cycle.