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better days

journal entry reflecting on living through dark days

By Chloe Rose Violet 🌹Published 3 years ago • Updated 8 months ago • 3 min read
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better days
Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

One of my favourite quotes happens to be from the movie Remember Me (2010). Robert Pattison says this, "If you could hear me, I would say that our fingerprints don't fade from the lives that we have touched." I love to reflect on this quote frequently. Because you can choose to either negatively influence people's lives or chose to do so in a positive manner.

Sometimes in this life, you get stuck. Whether it be with your writing, your career choices, or with your family and friends. Some days just suck the ever-living-hell out of you. Some weeks are just awful. Some nights just never seem to end. But throughout those awful days, you have the choice. You can either continue to wait for those better days to come, or you can enjoy the story that you happen to be living.

My whole life, I have always felt like I have been waiting for something. I felt like I was waiting for my school days to end. I felt like I was waiting for the birth of my two children. I felt like I was waiting for a proposal that just never would come. I always chose to wait for that next step to come. I have never truly lived within the moment and enjoyed my life to the fullest.

I no longer want to live a life left full of regrets and wishes. I want to chase the sunrise with the people I love most. I want to chase the storms while running free. I want to live my life fully and without fear for the first time ever. I no longer want to wait for those joyful moments to come because I am missing out on so many things living in fear of the judgment of others. Anxiety will do that to you so I have learned.

Life really does not stand still for anyone. However, I have stood still before. What I mean by this statement is this. While I was stuck in the waiting period of my life, I lost a lot of time. I lost a lot of memories that I just cannot get back. Something my Auntie Joanne told me once that just stuck with me was this, "You are able to have your sad days, just do not allow yourself to live within them." Well, I more than lived in them. In fact, my sad days have consumed me to pieces before.

There is no set schedule when it comes to healing. Anything, from the bottom of my heart, absolutely anything can screw you up. You get to heal however you see fit. You get to allow yourself to grieve and wallow in whatever you feel for as long as you need to. And that is honestly what they do not tell you about grief. Nobody tells you that you are allowed to feel whatever it is that you feel. I truly wish that more people were open about their grief and bad days because you should be allowed to talk about them. You should not have to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself in order to make other people feel comfortable.

So, if when I speak on my depression and anxiety, and it makes other people uncomfortable, then I will allow them to be uncomfortable. As long as it can show someone else they are not alone, then I will be open about my struggles. I will be open about the pain that I have endured in this life of mine. As long as it makes sure someone else, is not left alone with how they feel. Trust me when I say this, anxiety and depression have consumed many of my days, more than I am proud of. But I know that I will never allow them to overrule my life ever again. Those better days that I have been waiting for, I'm living in them right now.

Chloe Rose Violet

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About the Creator

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

Writing from the heart about love, life, music, mental health, and everything else in between. 💀🥰

•Follow me on Threads @rosefearless

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