Being a teen in 2020.

I’m not 100% sure on how to start this really. But I feel the need to get my thoughts and feelings about how I’m struggling to find my feet at this stage in my life and I hope people who read this can relate to this too.

This is me. An 18 year old photography student. I’m currently in my 2nd and final year of studying for a photography diploma at college. By now people around me are applying to universities, internships, getting interviews that will determine the next few years of their life. But not me. I salute the young people around me who are making that big leap of faith and going to uni moving out and becoming in most aspects an adult. Personally, I’m just not ready even at 18 I just don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. And I know there will be people who say ‘you have the rest of your life ahead of you’ and maybe that’s true but there is an immense amount of pressure on young people to find the right path and I’m definitely feeling it.

I’ve studied photography for the past 2 years and i love the ability it’s given me to open up my mind and be more creative and view things differently. I just don’t feel like it’s the right career to pursue for me. Realising this took a lot and to be honest I feel deep down on a subconscious level I’ve know it for awhile. If I was smart I would’ve started looking into other options straight away but I’m not one to back out of things even if it’s not right. So right now I’m in a precarious stage where i have absolutely no idea what to do next. I do have other hobbies like makeup artistry as I have my own makeup Instagram dedicated to creating eyelooks. (Makeupbyameliaclifton) and I do love it. So becoming an Mua is definitely something I want to look into but at the age I am now I have to look realistically at my options. Being an 18 year old broke student who doesn’t drive... isn’t really going to give me a lot of options. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.

I’ve never really been a social butter fly. I don’t go to parties, get drunk every weekend, do drugs etc that’s just not me. In that way I’ve found it difficult to relate to a lot of people around me. Of course I have people close to me that are in the same situation but realistically we’re all at the stage where we start to look into different opportunities that benefit ourselves and we’re not meant to think about what everyone else is doing around you.

But I guess now I’m going to have to start looking into this more seriously but also to slow it down a little. I’m starting to realise that it’s not as bad I’m making it out if I don’t have a set plan it’s not the end of the world. All I really need is my family, friends and my little cat Maisie and if there all okay then I’m happy.

So if there’s one message to take from this it would be don’t worry too much. It’s easy enough to say but as long as you have people around you who love and support you then you’ll be fine. And if you don’t then always believe in yourself. You know whats best for you.

- Amelia