Bad days build better days

Do you ever feel like bad things always happen to you? That you can never seem to catch a break? Somehow you're ALWAYS taking the hard road although you can't seem to find an alternative route? Yeah, same here girl.

2020 seems to have been an extremely hard year for most, and let me tell you; it's been the worst year of my life. Although i'm sitting tearing up as I share a small piece of this story with random strangers, let me explain to you how making a small change to my negative outlook has provided me with enlightenment. Although we tend to take the "hard road", there's no reason why we can't take control of that hard ass fucking road.

So let' start from the beginning, May 20, 2020.

This day, will forever be burned into my soul because on that day I lost my best friend, the light when I hovered in shadows, the sun on cloudy days; my father.

Dad was an incredible man, his smile lit up any room and his bluntness towards anyone always made anyone laugh, even if he was being rude. I could go on for days about the type of man he was, how he was a main source of who I am as a woman today but I'll save that for a whole different story, because today we're talking about overcoming the bad days.

Although May, 2020 just seems like it was yesterday and I have a lot further to go in my personal grieving process, I am recognizing the first step in changing that "poor me" mindset while releasing a part of that negative attitude and still finding a healthy balance to grieve. I am finally noticing what I have been doing wrong these past 3 months & girl, I am SO happy I realized my self-destructive behavior now rather than years away.

So trust me when I say this, the first step in finding the light in all this darkness is to CALL YOURSELF DAMN SELF OUT.

Stop being in denial, coming up with excuses or playing the victim. I literally realized how much I was spiraling and it took me smashing my face off the ground and breaking MY FRONT TOOTH. YEAH GIRL I WAS HILL BILLY DELUXE for a solid 14 hours.

The next day, hungover, toothless, I called around to every dentist in a 100 mile radius and PLEADED for someone to fix my tooth and finally an office was able to get me in that day, BUT I HAD TO DRIVE 2 HOURS AWAY! $500, painful Novocain, and an hour and a half in the dentist chair later, my tooth was fixed.

It took me literally hitting "rock bottom" to call myself out, don't let that be you. Overcome your negative thoughts on things you cannot control, and starting taking control of the things you can. My "ah-ha" moment was in that fucking dentist chair, seeing how stupid I looked and sharing the story about how I broke my tooth with the dental assistant and how ridiculous I sounded because I couldn't control my liquor.

Spiraling for me, is having the "I don't give a fuck attitude" the reckless mentality that you are down for anything what so ever no matter the consequences. Granted I am a very free-spirited girl, but every decision you make has an outcome that can be positive or negative, que my broken tooth :)))))))

Let my foolish story be an awakening for you. If you're going through a rough time, don't make it harder on yourself with a negative mindset. Things happen to the best of us and although we have every right to grieve & to be broken, start picking the pieces up in your head. Use this as taking your first step in moving forward.

Bad days build better days girl, you got this.

Sincerely,

My 27 year old foolish ass - Ellie Bee