Hi, little Mohamed, it is me your older self, calling from the future, you see I am not 5 years old anymore, nor 14 years old. You look beautiful, I love your smile.
Today I am here to tell you to calm down, to apologize for not helping you stand out for bulliers, for crying all the time over cruel words, I wish I could come by that time to tell you that it does get better, all that pain and torture will end soon. You see, I am 25 years old now and I am finally able to be true to myself. I understand that being criticized for the way you talk, your body language, your voice had made you suffer a lot, and it caused a lot of pain in your life, but trust me there would be a day where you will see everything about you as a gift, you will grow, you will become more mature, and more loving to yourself that you won’t allow anyone to put you down anymore.
I know that at your age, you had never traveled abroad, or afforded a simple dinner with friends, but trust me the situation will get better and will be able to afford to do all these things and more.
Do you remember the first presentation you had at school, where you were shacking and not even capable of pronouncing the first word, while everyone was laughing with tears due to your social anxiety? I am so sorry you had to go through all that. Trust me today I am performing amazing presentations, with great confidence leaving everyone in awe once I get done with the presentation and responding to their questions.
Yesterday you were scared, confused, lonely, today I may still feel scared because there is a monster that is still haunting, but I am not confused about myself and life anymore.
Do you remember that baby monster that used to make you feel tired and tearful all the time? Guess what, it didn’t die yet, it became so strong and it has a name and weapons, I finally could know its name, it is called depressive monster, and it has strong weapons such as chains in the form of anxiety attacks, leaving me at each time broken and paralyzed not even capable of doing the basic things in life. At least today I know what is wrong with me, I am sorry you had to go through all that without figuring out the main issue behind that emptiness and sadness.
You used to miss your dad who passed away before you even know him, trust me I still miss him too, the only difference is that I do not feel the same pain anymore, you see Mohamed I told you, things do get better.
Choose your friends wisely and know that except your parents and close family, not everyone deserves your tears. You are beautiful and so precious and you have to hold onto life with all that you can. People will come and go in life, and some of the those you thought they were your friends, they weren’t true friends at the end. I am sorry to tell you that but I have to be honest with you, so take things easy and learn how to love yourself before loving anyone else.
You are working hard in your studies, trust me you will never regret, focus on school I know it is hard but one day you will gain amazing scholarships and academic awards that you will be thankful for all your efforts.
Learn how to cherish those who accept you and love you for who you are, because those people will stay with you no matter what.
I love you Mohamed, and things do get better. Keep loving yourself and one day you will find your way. Trust me, I know that.
Sincerely,
Your older self
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