A Letter To My 20s Self

Last year has been challenging for every one of us in many ways. Who knew that sitting at home could become such a daunting task? Someone with whom you had a long chat before few days fell short of breath and disappeared from this world. Even I was woken up by the sound of an ambulance siren that blazed off the street. We all have our stories to tell.

The pandemic is not yet over. Some of us are still working from our home, trying to divide our day between personal and professional. But, the pandemic gave us all some time to self-reflect.

Last December, I turned 30. It did not feel as overwhelming as I had thought when I was approaching my late 20s. Ageing is a natural process. Unfortunately, it just goes one way. What matters is how you adapt!

In hindsight, nothing seems impossible. We cannot change the past. But, all we could do is learn from our mistakes. This article is not about dwelling on the past but about things that I would do if I have an option to relive my 20s.

Avoid Herd Mentality

I knew you were naive. You had no idea where you were heading for. You were directionless and looking around for someone to tell you the way. No one forced you. But you followed the crowd anyway. I can understand you got influenced by people around you, but they were equally clueless. Just do what your heart tells you to. If nothing works out, you will still have time by your side. Play your own game and define the rules yourself.

It is difficult to walk on a lonely road. There will be hurdles, the path might be riddled with thorns, filled with trenches, but the journey will be equally satisfying. Make your own mistakes so that you cannot think of blaming someone.

There is nothing wrong with choosing the status quo, but it is about existing. The joy is in the living.

Learn to say no

You don't have to be the epitome of giving. You are not in this world to please anyone. Boy, think a bit about your happiness too. I know you were scared that saying 'no' would lead to a conflict. Yes, I am aware that we all have to compromise a little to stick around the people we care about. But, avoiding a short term conflict would only lead to a catastrophe in the long term. And it's difficult to return from there. Saying 'no' does not mean that you have utter disregard for their feelings. It means that you want to hold your ground, and you still have the same affection and respect.

Giving in to unreasonable demands will only lead to dissatisfaction and discontent. The feeling of resentment towards the people you care for is the last thing you would want. Trust me, if you explain yourself enough, you will be understood. Because, the people whom you care for, care for you too. They will go miles for you. And if you feel that they don't, then you shouldn't even waste your time arguing. There are better things to do in life.

Read More

I know that you have always been a reader, but an average one. The idea is not to be average. Read - philosophy, psychology, ideology, logic, economy, history, literature; any and every subject that arouses you. You know how reading has added value to your life. Be consistent rather than having bouts of reading for few months in a year. Consistency can lead to an exponential change in the long run.

I am quite aware that you were broke in your early 20's. But a book doesn't cost a fortune and any price paid to gain knowledge can never be high. Come on, you have spent so much on junk meals! Even if you read half of what you have in your late 20s. It would create a tremendous difference in your knowledge base when you touch 30.

Do not care about people's opinions

People is a broad term. Let me define that for you; it includes your partner, close friends and family members. No one will ever know about your life more than you do. Not even your companion. Only you can tell about yourself - what are you good at, in what things you suck or what all you love to do.

When you are young, you tend to mind what others think about you. But trust me, as you age, you will realise that no one cares about anyone. No one will come to you after 5 years to follow up on the advice they had given. People have a habit of blabbering. Your work is to listen and ignore. Do whatever suits you. In the worst-case scenario, you will make a mistake and get hurt. That's a part of the process. That's what life is all about. At a later stage, you will only remember the chances you never took, and not about the blunders you made. Over a long enough timeline, they will be forgotten at the drop of a hat.

Do not give up easily

Don't be so impatient. Things take time to materialise. Nothing's an overnight success. Make the idea of success very clear. It's not about amassing as much wealth as you can. It's about being in control of your life (we can never be 100% in control of everything). There is joy in steering your own ship.

Don't fall for instant gratification. Delayed rewards will be more satisfying. Also, sacrifice is an integral part of long term rewards. I am not at all hinting at sacrificing your relationship or your friendships. I am talking about putting in that extra hour, that extra effort, every day. Even little work with persistence will derive immense results over a long period. As I already said, consistency is the king.

Have no regrets

You might, and you will go wrong in many ways possible in your twenties. Maybe failed relationships or dissatisfaction in professional life. You are allowed to fall, and you are allowed to fail. But you should be learning from your mistakes, get back on your feet and continue to drag yourself.

You cannot change your past. Don't dwell on it. Dwelling on the past is not a mistake but an excuse for not doing the work. All that has gone wrong cannot be corrected because time is a curse. Let those mistakes be stepping stones for your future -A future that holds a plethora of opportunities to be seized.

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