5 Things Pole Dancing Has Taught Me About Life

Pole dancing has been my hobby for the past two years. Not only has it transformed my body — turning it into a lean mean pole machine — but it has brought me closer to the women in my life, has raised my self-esteem, and is always the bright end to any long day.

After all of these months of poling (yup, I use it as a verb now), I've begun to see some parallels between the wild world of pole and the wild world of life:

5. Comparison Really Is the Thief of All Joy:

Every body is different. Some people are bendier, or stronger, or more graceful. Sometimes I'll catch onto a pole move really quick and sometimes it'll take me weeks before I can even attempt it in front of people. If I spent all my time watching what my pole peers can and can't do, I'd never learn anything myself!

In a similar vein, everybody is different — good at some things, less apt at others. Stop comparing yourself to those around you and just do what feels good to you. You'll be surprised how soon the things you once thought were difficult are actually easy!

4. Pain Is Inevitable—Quitting Is a Choice:

Want to master the Jade split? Trying to perfect your forearm climb? Your pole sit? You better be ready for some pain. Challenging new moves will hurt. One of my pole coaches says that you just have to do the painful moves enough times so your nerves become desensitized to the pain... which means you can't just try a move once and give up because it hurts too much.

Similarly, in life, big changes can be painful, terrifying, and enough to make you want to lay down and quit. The trick is to breathe through the pain and know that on the other side is success, growth, and desensitized nerve endings (just kidding, you just learn how to cope with the pain better).

3. Slow Down:

This is particularly true in exotic dance but also applies to pole in general — SLOW DOWN. Take the time to enjoy the process, enjoy the move you're testing and allow your body to fully sink into and absorb the movement. I'm guilty of constantly trying to rush through moves just to prove I can do them. With this awareness, one thing I'm trying to practice is to be in the moment with every single little move I do with my body on the pole.

In life, it can feel like you're constantly trapped in the rat race — chasing after some sort of invisible markers telling you that certain things need to be accomplished by a certain age. Stop following those markers — everyone goes at their own pace (see point #5), and the most important thing is (for fear of being cliche) the journey. Not the destination. Take your time, think things through, and absorb the energy around you in every moment you spend on this planet (or in space, if you're an astronaut...).

2. Don't Overthink:

Any time I start breaking down a move in my head and really thinking about how it's supposed to be done, I fail at it pretty hard. It's only when I turn off my conscious mind and trust that my body and muscle memory can handle the work am I able to nail the move I'm trying to master. This is particularly true for moves that require going upside down (my nemesis moves — because my brain will stop at nothing to avoid my body going topsy turvy).

Sometimes you just have to stop analyzing every choice in your life and go out and do it. If you overthink, you begin to doubt, and when you begin to doubt, you're no longer able to fully dive right into things uninhibited. This is very different from being reckless (which, in pole, can cause major injury) — it's about trusting yourself enough to know you can accomplish what you want to do without your brain getting in the way saying "nooo, let's stay safe... let's just think on it some more."

1. Let it Go:

Proper pole grip is an art in and of itself, and is dependent on the type of move you're trying to do — if your grip is too tight for spins, you'll squeak your way around the pole. If your grip is too loose when you're upside down, you'll fall and crack your head open. Proper grip and pole handling — knowing when to let go, when to readjust your hands — is a huge part of getting better at pole.

In life, sometimes you need to know when to just let some things go. For years I struggled with acne — berated myself for having it, tried new remedies every month in the hopes of clear skin, and nothing worked. Eventually, I just stopped caring. It was taking up way too much space in my head that I needed to use for other things (like pole dancing) and I'm happy to say that my skin is clearer and while it's still not perfect, a breakout no longer sends me into a full blown spiral of anxiety and panic.

So, there you have it. Pole and life are synonymous. Dare I say... pole... is life?