5 Resolutions I made for a better 2021

Well, last year proved to be the year we didn't expect, nor did we want it. But here we are, in 2021, just about alive and hoping for a better year. Most of us I think have made resolutions to make this the best year yet, so here are 5 resolutions I made, to try and improve myself. Maybe this will give you some ideas on what to accomplish this year.

1. Setting boundaries:

This is something I have been working on for a long time, and still something that needs to be fully mastered. I'm a people pleasing person, and something is said to upset me, I usually won't say anything through fear of causing conflict. This year, I am setting boundaries for the sake of my own mental health. This includes saying no when I don't want to do something, telling someone they are making me feel uncomfortable etc. The point of setting these boundaries is to take care of my mental well-being and taking care of myself. As someone who suffers with Anxiety, setting boundaries is equally important and terrifying.

2. Improving on my Communication:

For me, communication is pretty scary. Telling someone they hurt you or you're feeling angry with someone's actions is a pretty tough thing to communicate across. I have many ways I like to communicate, but they are not crystal clear to those who aren't close to me, or seen when my anxiety gets the best of me. So, bettering my communication not only helps me, but helps others understand how I'm feeling and how their actions can affect others. I'm also terrified of conflict and causing an argument that is unnecessary, so communicating my thoughts and feelings can feel like a big deal sometimes.

Communication is so important, in any relationship you have in life. This is something I am still working on, and whenever I communicate something to someone else, I tell myself "I am proud of you", because it's a big hurdle for me to overcome. This has only happened once thus far, but it was still a pretty big deal to me, so I told myself it was a very good thing I did it!

3. Putting my energy into the right people:

For years, I would put my energy into people who would never give the same back. All because I was terrified of losing a friendship. I simply put it down to caring too much, and maybe I did. I still care a lot about any friendships or relationships I make, but I have to remind myself that if I don't get the same energy from them as I give out, then maybe that person isn't worth it.

When I put my energy into the right people, I feel great, confident and just overall happier. When I put my energy into the wrong people, I feel drained and like I'm just annoying them.

As I write this, I'm in a situation right now where I have given my energy to people who didn't make me feel great and just simply didn't give me the same energy back. I stopped giving them all my energy and I feel so much better for it.

4. Being true to who I am:

Sounds super cliché right? But, hear me out. Let me explain. I tend to hide certain aspects of myself because I fear judgement from others. I'm sure most people fear judgement, but why should I change myself to benefit others? I shouldn't.

I can be quite open about myself at the best of times, I'm not ashamed of who I am. However, I have been told in the past that I'm a little different, and that used to bother me, but now, I embrace that.

In my family, I have 3 younger stepsisters. They are all around my age, but we are quite different. Whilst they are great to be around, and we have a lot of fun together, it has been pointed out to me how different we are. They are extroverted, have a lot of friends etc. This is not a bad thing, I am just not that way inclined. I'm very happy having only a close circle of friends and I spend a lot of my time indoors because that's what I prefer.

I'm an avid reader, I get excited over small things and I can talk about books all day long. I'm also a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and I'm very comfortable in myself and my identity. Not to mention I'm a huge fan of K-Pop, which my family like to tease me about, but it makes me happy, so I don't really care.

So in my family, I am considered different to my stepsisters. But, I don't see this as a bad thing. I used to compare myself to them because I wasn't doing what they were doing. Eventually, I realised that I don't need to be the same as them. Everyone is different and unique in their own way, and it's better to be different than copy someone else. I know in a way, I can be annoying because I can talk about the most random things for ages, however, I'm never going to change my personality to suit someone else (as long as I don't hurt people then I think I'm okay). I try my best to remain mindful, respectful and kind. I would never ask someone else to change because it's who they are.

Remaining true to myself not only means proudly displaying who I am, but also not being ashamed of who I am and reminding myself that everyone is different. Who cares what society says? Everyone is unique and that's a great thing!

5. Loving myself:

Cue massive cringe moment!! Yes, very stereotypical for a new years resolution, but once again, just wait and let me explain.

I've struggled with this for years, never knowing where to start and how does loving yourself even happen?

The truth is, I can't give that answer. The journey to loving yourself is personal to you, and everyone's journey is valid and equally challenging. We all have our own struggles and hardships.

My journey has taken me through ups and downs, and do I completely love myself. Not yet. But I will!!!

I can't tell you how to love yourself, however, I can tell you some of the things I did to help me kickstart the journey.

I figured out what worked for me. I used to work out, do circuit training with weights, and eventually I got major burn out because I gained a toxic mindset. I haven't worked out properly for a few months, however, I make sure I move about often. I take walks with my family, and one of my favourite things to do is yoga. Yoga is super relaxing and at the same time, helps you gain strength and flexibility. I love a fun workout, so if I can dance at any given time, I will.

I accepted that I didn't have a flat stomach and I probably never would (I don't have the patience to train for a 6-pack. Plus I hate gyms). But, rolls are SO normal!! Beautiful!! This is something I have to remind myself on a bad day, and on some days, I don't believe it. But the more I say it on a good day, the less bad days I have. Honestly, everything is beautiful!! Cellulite, jiggle, EVERYTHING!!! It's what makes you... you!! Love it!! Embrace it!

I'm not perfect. No one is perfect!! We make mistakes because we are human!! So, why not love ourselves for our flaws!! If we were perfect and didn't make mistakes, would we really be human?? This was the hardest pill to swallow for me. I make a lot of mistakes. I say stupid things, act silly, and panic at the most ridiculous things! But all these things are super okay! Everyone makes mistakes every day, but we learn from them and move on. The moving on part has been the most difficult, still working on it!!

I hope these things maybe help others and give you some ideas for New Year's Resolutions.