5 Key Lessons of the Book Emotional Intelligence
Why EQ Can Matter More Than IQ
The book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman has created a new era in how we perceive emotions and their importance at work. Most of its ideas have been used and criticized since then, but it remains the best book ever written on emotional intelligence.
About the author:
Daniel Goleman is a scientist and an internationally renowned psychologist. He meets people across the globe to educate them about the importance of emotions in our daily life. As a journalist, he wrote for The New York Times on behavioral sciences.
About the book:
Goleman describes how emotions contribute to the success we strive to achieve, the direction we take in life, relationships, and even our physical wellbeing.
The book's five key lessons are:
1. Our emotions provide much of the glue for healthy relationships or block them altogether. How we express our feelings and value others' feelings at work has a critical impact on building trust, which is the cornerstone for any successful team and making lasting contributions to your organization.
2. All of us fall prey to emotions that undermine our effectiveness and wreak havoc with our health, happiness, prosperity, and relationships. It is even more challenging for people who have stored up feelings of humiliation or fear from their early life.
3. A growing body of research suggests that emotional competencies – recognizing, understanding, and managing your own emotions; recognizing, understanding, and influencing the feelings of others; and motivation – can be learned.
4. Our emotions are always honest, even if we think they don't accurately reflect reality. We may learn to smile when we feel like crying or laughing when we have been hurt. But our emotions are not as easily controlled as a smile or a laugh.
5. Leaders who want to improve the bottom line must change their emotions to create sustainable, on-the-job changes in behavior. If we can't control our emotions at work, we won't handle much else.
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Other great ideas you can extract from the book:
Emotions help you understand
You can learn almost anything, but the learning doesn't help unless you can understand and put it into perspective. Feelings allow you to gain a broader understanding of the world around you. Emotions will also help your intelligence shine through.
Emotions are what make us human.
Without emotions, a person is reduced to the level of a machine. And in the absence of human interaction, we become solitary, and depression kicks in. The ability to understand and interpret emotions is just as important as having a high IQ.
Humans are social beings and can't thrive in solitary existence. We converse, interact, and reciprocate based on emotions. If you're missing out on social interaction or not fully communicating your feelings, then your emotional intelligence won't evolve.
Understanding is the key to unity
You may have come across the phrase "unity in diversity". However, it's only possible by having high EQ (emotional quotient). If we, as individuals, are unable to understand the emotions of others, then we'll never be able to make decisions that satisfy all.
IQ denotes the ability to manage your ideas and thoughts and channel them for maximum benefit. But even businesses thrive based on interpersonal relations. Unless you show empathy, not many people will be willing to work with you.
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