3 Lessons Found in Adversity

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. — Napoleon Hill

The 3 Lessons

1. There is no success without failure. The greater the win, the greater the obstacles. Seek out adversity. Don't be afraid of it. Fight for your dream.
2. You will have more losses than wins so learn how to deal with failure and turn them into lessons learned.
3. How you handle adversity and failure will determine the direction of your life.

The 1st Lesson

The bigger you dream, the bigger the obstacles you will face. This means you have to fight harder.

In my early twenties, I sold cars for a living. It was 1990 and Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web. No one thought you could make money with this internet thing. There was no Facebook or Twitter. Amazon was a river in Brazil. No one knew the World Wide Web would change the world. Bill Gates or Mark Cuban might have known. If they're honest, Gates and Cuban would admit it took them by surprise as well.

My older brother told me the fast way to make money was to be in sales. It still might be. He said I shouldn't sell houses or fax machines. I didn't have the personality for those businesses. Real money was in car sales. Based on that recommendation, I decided to be a car salesman.

I thought I was a natural. Made for sales. I could not have been more wrong. I sold 21 cars in the first eight months. Averaging less than three cars per month. I was so bad I couldn't close the front door.

But I had a dream. I wanted to be the best salesman in the dealership. I was not going to let something as me having a crappy attitude or not knowing how to sell stop me.

So I worked my ass off. In those eight months, I took off seven days. I worked a bell-to-bell. I walked in when the service department opened at 6:00 am and left when the sales manager locked the doors at night. Sometimes, it was midnight when we left. I did not mind. I had a dream.

A customer who walks on the car lot is called an up. I took as many up's as possible. Other salesmen accused me of burning through customers. They were right. The best way to learn how to sell is to talk to as many customers/up's as you can. You must practice every day.

I read over 200 books on sales, goal setting, influence, and leadership. Every night, I fell asleep listening to motivational tapes. I walked on to other dealerships and pretended I was a customer - an up. My goal was to learn from other salespeople. What they did wrong. What they did right.

My focus was to be a great salesman. I was not going to quit.

In those days, car salespersons were paid a commission check or minimum wage. Whichever one was more. I was paid a commission one time in those seven months. Most salespersons were let go when that happened. For some reason, my managers did not fire me. They both pitied me or enjoyed watching me suffer. And suffer I did. Most months I had $42 to live on after paying the rent.

At the end of my ninth month, I sold 10.5 cars. You sell a half a car when you split a deal with another salesperson. I made a commission and earned more money than I did all year.

The next month I sold 18.5 cars. I was salesman of the month. And I never looked back.

The bigger the dream, the bigger the obstacles. You will have to work harder, longer, smarter, and you will have to accept failure

To overcome adversity you must seek it out. And when you do, your plans need to be bolder. You will have to work harder and longer than the next person. But it will be worth it.

“When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.” – George Bernard Shaw

A dream alone will not get you through adversity. Working towards your goals will.

Don't stop moving.

The 2nd Lesson

There is a lesson in every failure. Thirty years ago when I sold cars, I lost more deals than I closed. Early in my career, I decided each rejection would make me a better salesman. Every no taught me how to handle objections from the next customer.

Every month I made a decision I would ask 200 people to buy a car from me. Most said no. One man, in particular, called me the worse salesman he had ever seen. Two days later I had another customer. It turned out the woman worked for the man who called me the worse salesman alive. She wanted to learn how not to suck in sales.

I learned from every rejection. Each failure made me a better salesman. It made me a better person.

I took those lessons into my life as a father, husband, friend, consultant, and writer.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. – James Joyce

You will lose more often than you will win. Julius Caesar called experience the greatest teacher. It is another way of saying you need to learn from your mistakes.

Learn from failure or continue to lose.

The 3rd Lesson

Become resilient. Winning means you have to get tough. Rejection is hard. It is a shitty, god awful feeling, but it is also an important part of life.

My first month selling cars 213 people in a row told me no before I sold my first car. The next two months another 446 refused to buy a car from me. I sold three cars.

After each rejection, I found out why the customer said no. Within nine months, I was selling 18+ cars a month.

Years later I was recruiting and creating partnerships with technology companies. In my first three years, I did not close one deal. Thank God, I had an understanding (and employed) wife.

I hated each failure, but I learned from each one. I became a stronger and more resilient person. Each no taught me empathy, to work harder, and believe in myself.

Don't get used to failure. Hate it and decide to grow from every loss or rejection.

Analyze your mistakes and then take action on the lesson or lessons learned. Become a better person from your failures.

If you fail, embrace the loss, learn the lesson, but also hate it. Decide you will be better.

If there is a 4th Lesson, this Is it:

Rejection or losing is not failure.

Quitting is failing.

You will suffer. You will go through hard times. It will not last forever.

It is what you do with your suffering that either breaks you or makes you strong. You may bend during the bad times, but only you will determine if life will break you.

Don't quit.

The world says failure is bad. The world is wrong.

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