2021 won't be okay, but that's okay

Your 2021 isn't going to be any different than the tumultuous year of 2020. Maybe you have a list of resolutions stuck to your refrigerator, or a vision board on the wall with hopes of bettering yourself in 2021.

There is nothing special about the year stretched out before us. Learning to accept that a lot of the same crap that happened in 2020 will also happen in 2021, but changing how you react to the crap, is the key.

(You won't always react the way you should, but that's okay).

We feel like if we would just be able to lose those ten pounds, eat healthy, get out with friends more, be more proactive, etc., that we won't have a lot of the same problems that make us unhappy now.

(You won't be able to keep up with the "picture perfect" or "ideal" lifestyle...but that's okay).

There is always going to be something in front of you lessening your self-esteem, or creating what looks like obnoxious and intimidating barriers in your life.

If only I could change this...then I'll be happy.

No, you won't. New years resolutions are all about improving ourselves and our lives. If you feel like you have the power to give your life a complete make over, you're in for a lot of disappointment.

Fresh starts put too much pressure on our shoulders. Instead of trying to enjoy life, you can get caught up with the "don't screw this up" mentality, adding stress you never meant to add to your shoulders in the first place.

(You're going to have multiple mental breakdowns this year. You can try all you want to make your life look like it's right out of a magazine, but you'll fail. You know it's true--but that's okay).

You'll find that you still hate all of the things you hated in 2020. Cleaning, getting up for work, exercising, making dinner, trying to talk to people who annoy you...none of that is going to change. You can do your best to make yourself a better person, but don't ever force yourself into thinking you enjoy something that is so totally not enjoyable. That's okay.

What you should really be hoping for is that you experience difficulties in 2021 that will add to your growth. Where there is a challenge, there is the option to grow.

2020 wasn't without its challenges. There were many times last year when close relationships in my life were put under stress, and I made a lot of mistakes. (But that's okay).

Even a variety of small mistakes have taught me things that make my life much easier now:

1) Lies hurt people

2) Salt the ice on the driveway

3) Don't walk away when you have milk boiling on the stove

4) Bring extra socks

5) Keep a phone charger everywhere so you never have to go without one

6) Don't stick chewing gum to your dashboard in the summer

7) Always double check who you send that (picture, video, link, text, email...) to

8) Never forget your Google account password

9) Get up early and shower before the six other people in the house do and the hot water runs out

10) Leave an extra pair of everything in your car (gloves, gum, aspirin, blankets, hoodie, snacks, phone charger...)

These are little things, but they still matter. Small seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years.

Whenever I'm really stressed out or worried about something, my mom says, "Take one day at a time." I'll almost always answer, "But, I can't. I need to know what my school and work schedule is. I need to know what I'm taking next semester so I can know whether or not I need to apply for practicum hours. And once I apply, I have to figure out how to work and put in the hours...."

Long story short, you won't always be able to take it "one day at a time," but that's okay. It's just another thing that you aren't going to be able to change. No matter what, you will constantly have to be making additions and moving things around on your calendar. (That's okay).

Life was never meant to be organized, despite what you've been hearing. Try your best, but don't try so hard that you make yourself exhausted and sick of your commitments and routines. It's like starting to run before you've warmed up...if you dive right into the diets and the strict workout regiments, you'll tire yourself out long before the end of the year.

2021 is in your hands, but it's kind of like a fish. You won't always be able to hold onto it while it's flipping and thrashing in your grip.

Life is a slippery business...but that's okay.