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#1 Secret to Boost Your Confidence

by Arielle Wilson 4 years ago in advice
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The Only Thing You Need to Beat Self-Doubt and a Poor Self-Image...

Accredited to Steve Harvey of Unsplash

What I'm going to share with you today will be life-changing. I can guarantee it. When I first heard this, I could not believe the impact it made on my life.

It's no secret we've all suffered from a lack of confidence in one way or another; however, we all act as such: as If we couldn't bare to live through the embarrassment of sharing our vulnerabilities with the people around us. It's here that we start to uncover what low confidence really means, right? Well, to first identify how to boost your confidence, you have to find what makes you insecure, which can be different for everyone and so that means a different definition of low confidence for each of you that's reading this article.

For most, this is easy. We can come up with reason after reason about why we simply don't like ourselves. For others, not so much. It can be difficult to admit to yourself why you don't feel confident. Commonly, this is recognized as evasive behavior and in some cases, it can lead you down a path from which you can't stray. We won't delve into that too deeply for today but it is important to be aware of what makes you insecure.

As long as you can pinpoint what that is for you, there's only one thing you need to know on how to fix it.

This is a one-size fits all solution.

You can apply it to every aspect of your life where you don't feel confident.

I happened upon this little piece of advice while researching how to build a good work relationship with my colleagues. I've always been a bit insecure about what little I may know compared to the people around me. Throwing myself into a slew of articles and videos, I came across a dating coach named Matthew Hussey. I wasn't deeply interested in romantic relationship advice. But I thought, why not just see what he has to say and I'll go from there.

Matthew uploaded a video to Vimeo, which you can find here, titled "Core Confidence."

Now, skipping past all the romantic jargon and getting down to the meat of the video, you'll see something that completely changes your life. Ready for the big reveal? Well, here it is:

Competence is confidence.

As Matthew puts it, you have to have both in all areas of your life to get anywhere.

But here's what he doesn't say: competence exudes confidence. As soon as you get to a level of competence, let's say, in art; you'll start to feel more confident about your work. The very second you can see your competence level rising, you can feel your confidence level do just the same.

The only problem is, you don't know where to begin! How do you build competence when your confidence level is low in an area such as your body image? Or what if you don't have much confidence when it comes to talking to a love interest?

Remember when I said it was important to identify what makes you insecure? This is the trickiest part. You can't fix a problem you don't fully understand.

So here's what I'm gonna tell you to do. Find what it is at your most basic core that gives you that doubt and insecurity. It's tough to break down, but if you pick at it long enough, you'll start to see something you couldn't see before. That's where you begin. There, right there, is where you start.

Insecure about your body? Take the time to accept your outer shell. Look at the rolls and marks. Recognize that it's just flesh. That one roll there is not everything there is to know about you. That roll there? Just flesh. Competence in this area would be recognizing your body as just a body. There is nothing wrong with your body, it is just different. It's not the body of a model or an athlete. It's yours. Simply put, it is just your body.

Insecure when talking to someone you're interested in? Start with something smaller. Converse with a stranger waiting in line for coffee. Talk to the grocery clerk. Build your competence of speaking to a stranger, and you'll be confident enough to talk to that cute friend of yours.

This three worded phrase has changed my life beyond belief. I only hope that what Matthew has shared with the world can help you, too.


About the author

Arielle Wilson

I'm a freelance writer who disguises herself as a veterinary assistant.

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