Navigating Love: Debunking Myths and Discovering Truths in Relationships

Some individuals endure a considerable amount of nonsense in their relationships, mistakenly believing that it demonstrates their love and loyalty. However, the truth is that they tolerate such nonsense because they are addicted to their partners, afraid of being alone, or addicted to the sense of being a savior, the "good one," or a hero/heroine. The individual who endures this "shit-taking" experiences extreme highs and lows, confusion, emotional deprivation, self-loathing, vindication, relief, depression, and occasional triumph. If you find yourself in this situation, I have a message for you: love shouldn't feel like this.

Let's consider a scenario. He is intelligent, holds a decent job, comes from a loving family (who adores you), and has the potential to be a great father someday. However, he often remains emotionally distant, experiences bouts of depression, and fails to recognize his own awesomeness.

On the other hand, she is sweet, sexy, understands your need for relaxation on weekends, and brings fun into your life. Nevertheless, she incessantly interrogates you about other women, constantly discusses past cheaters in her life, and prefers to complain about her lack of confidence rather than take action to improve it.

Both partners' lack of self-worth can wreak havoc on the relationship, even if there is substantial potential for a fulfilling connection.

It's important to remember that love and partnership can take various forms. You can build a wonderful life with someone who may not be your soul mate.

According to the French, every relationship consists of a "Kisser" and a "Kissed." This means that there is always a "Nurture" person and a "Freedom" person in a relationship. These roles can interchange depending on the dynamics of your partnership. In one relationship, you may be the Nurture person, while in another, you might be the Freedom person. In a healthy relationship, meeting your partner's needs and desires can lead to greater fulfillment of your own. It is crucial to have thorough communication about these dynamics. I highly recommend the book "Attached" by Levine and Heller, which explores bonding styles. It has been an invaluable resource for my clients.

Breakups are challenging for both parties involved, but for different reasons. Although you may assume that your ex is hurting as much as you are because you shared everything together, this realization can be a harsh reality check. It's important to acknowledge that experiences affecting both individuals may not necessarily foster a bond between them.

In life, there are always new opportunities and possibilities waiting for you. If you have given your relationship a fair chance and your partner is not the right fit for you or treats you poorly, it's time to move on. Love, opportunity, and new partnerships abound in this vast Universe. Don't confine yourself to a perpetually mismatched, abusive, lukewarm, or dysfunctional relationship.

It is possible to love someone without being "in love" with them. This is a real phenomenon that requires careful consideration. You must decide if you can handle this dynamic.

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to love someone even if you don't love yourself. However, it will undoubtedly present challenges and create a problematic and strenuous relationship. The notion that "you can't love someone until you love yourself" is a fallacy. Both you and your partner need to work on developing love, trust, and respect for yourselves. It is a process that requires mutual effort.

Another fallacy is the statement that "no one can make you happy except yourself." Of course, people can bring happiness into your life. They can fill you with immense fulfillment, direction, passion, and inspiration—sometimes more than you can provide for yourself. While it is essential not to become excessively dependent