My Three Dads

With Father's Day being right behind us. I am reminded of the three men that made a huge impact of who I am. I am honored to have three incredible men that I called Dad. Although they are gone now, I still feel them with me. I know that as I go through life, they are looking after me. This is for them.

Daddy Doug was the father that brought me into this world. He was tall, dark, handsome, and Italian. I have very few memories of him, as he passed when I was only two. I remember the last Christmas I had with him. I remember the dress and hat that he gave me, the ones that I held on to long after I outgrew it just because my dad bought it for me. I remember sitting on his lap while eating a bowl of Lucky Charms.

I don't remember what his voice sounded like. I don't have any profound advice that he gave me. When I was little, I would cry as I looked at old pictures of us. I felt cheated as I saw the proud look of love on his face. Despite my lack of memories, I knew that I was my daddy's girl. I still dream about him on occasion. In them, he tells me that he's proud of me and that he's with me. And I believe it.

Daddy adopted me when I was a baby. He was my great-grandpa. We weren't particularly close, but I always knew he was there for me. My fondest memories of him was when I was little, helping him with all of the animals on their farm. At a very early age, I had experience with pigs, goats, chickens, ducks, and horses. I suppose that is why I have such a love for animals.

I remember him walking me around on my pony, and how disappointed I was when he sold him. Daddy passed away shortly after my High School Graduation. We disagreed about a lot of things, but he always wanted me to be happy. I only wish I could have appreciated way sooner. I am grateful though that we were able to become closer before we lost him.

Daddy Clyde came into my life when I was around four when he started dating Mampau. We became best friends immediately. He would play Barbie with me and take me for ice cream in his 1957 pink Cadillac. I felt so cool sitting in the front seat.

He saved my life when I kept getting misdiagnosed with the flu. When I was no longer able to walk across the room by myself, he demanded that I go to a specialist. Through memories of screaming and crying while the nurses held me down to draw my blood, I will always remember looking into the waiting room and seeing him with his head in his hands trying to hide the tears streaming down his own face. When my great-grandma became too sick to take care of me anymore, he and Mampau adopted me, becoming my third set of parents.

We would talk every night about anything and everything. I laugh whenever I think of the food fight we had with salad at the dinner table. He taught me how to ride a bike and to play baseball. And eventually, he made sure that I got a college education.

He became sick very sudden. I knew something was wrong when he called me telling me that he felt bad. I didn't know that at the moment, he was calling to say goodbye. Of course, he lived until after New Year's. The last time I visited him in the hospital, I told him that I was glad that he was my dad. As I was leaving, he grabbed my shirt. I knew it was his way of saying goodbye.

A couple of days later, it began to snow. It snowed but just a moment. He was saying goodbye. As soon as it stopped, I got the call that he was gone. Suddenly, I was nobody's little girl anymore. It left a pain that took quite awhile to move from. I have been fortunate in my life. Despite the difficulties that I faced, I have never doubted for a moment that I was truly loved. Whenever I fell, I had someone to catch me.

Sometimes the world can seem like a very dark and scary place. It is in those times that it means so much to know that you are loved. Even though these three men are not here anymore, I carry them in my heart. In those dark moments, I feel their love with me, and I can make it to the light.