In The Cold And Icy Grip Of The Future

At the beginning of 2024, I wouldn't have considered I'd so quickly feel like I'm marched through the town square, my hands tied together, being taken forcefully to my demise. While seeing the future of others has always been easy, seeing my own isn't my specialty. But here we are.

It's 2024, and I'm slowly working toward the end, dependent upon a pardon or reprieve from someone with control over my future. I now understand why people get depressed about the end. It never comes late enough, and we seldom find ourselves without business to finish.

Not that I classify myself as a great man, or for that matter, all that good of one. I've done some things right in this world, and I'd like to think I've done more right than wrong. Karma decided to kick me right in the balls and had me a scary new reality to live with at 52.

"Happy Bloody Birthday!"

-Karma

I've worked around people facing life in prison, a few that were facing the death sentence, and I sympathize with how the latter felt when they got closer and closer to their time. It's a cold and icy hand that reaches out to take you to your last moments. But a reaper's hand wouldn't be warm, would it?

At least she didn't grab me by the balls with that icy grip!

As I wait for a reprieve or some commutation of the sentence that Karma has imposed upon me, questions come to mind. Exestential and philosophical ideas begin to become a reality. I now wonder, is hell as hot as they advertise?

Other questions creep into my consciousness. Is this my big chance to get away from it all? Could I be returned to Earth as a three-headed god with wings? I'd settle for having one head. Why, and then fill in the blank, because I'm asking it about everything?

What Happened?

Let's talk about being caught with your pants down. Being caught by surprise, as there was a need to check my A1C for diabetes, I felt great other than my blood sugar being out of range. We should run a full blood workup since you're over 50 and we haven't for a few years.

"Sure!"

When I said yes, I never imagined that Pandora's box "yes" would open up, and since then, that yes has been like swinging a sledgehammer into a spike. When you least expect things to fall apart, that's when it usually happens.

"Life's a bitch, and then..."

-Unknown

Guys, don't be shy about this one. Get those prostates checked! If the doctors aren't telling you this, there's been a move away from the finger check, so don't expect them to check. If I'd known at 40 what I know now, I'd have greeted my doc with a vertical smile.

In blood work, the hospitals and doctors use a PSA test. You want it to be around 4 or less. It goes up the older you get, so a slight rise isn't unusual. When I saw what mine was and read what it meant I about had a stroke.

Health = or >4.

My results came in at an astounding 329.8. Prostate cancer! Well, F me in the A. I shouldn't say that, because that's where they'll going to shove a device with a camera and needles to take a biopsy to determine how F'd in the A I really am!

When you're in tip-top shape, being on the unlucky side of life isn't your worst problem. You always have a chance to change your lot in life. That's because you have time. When you're sitting on a ticking clock, like cancer growing inside you, you don't have as much time in front of you as you did the day before you found out.

What can you do? It's time to make as much money as I can, while I can, live a little, love a lot, and hope that I've got enough time to clean up my affairs and leave those that will still be here in as good a place as possible. First, there's the fight with cancer. So far, medical science hasn't given it great odds from where I'm starting.

Welcome to the party, overpriced drug therapies, overpriced clinics, pricey procedures, and all of it's a bet on a long shot. I prefer better odds, particularly after hearing from two urologists they haven't seen a PSA this high...god help me!

Behold, Karma...a royal bitch!