Need Help Writing Your Wedding Vows? Here's a guide.
Tips to write your Vows
You’re ready to marry your one and only, and the big day is on its way. Congratulations, but now to the most important part of the wedding, practically the only reason for the wedding is when you’re at the altar, looking into the eyes of your significant other, to articulate your life-long commitment to them via your wedding vows.
With that said, we’re not all writers, so I created this as a guide to help you with how to think when it comes to writing your vows. Whether you’re being proactive, or have procrastinated, let’s breathe life into the vows you already have in your head.
The best way to structure your wedding vows is to split it into two sections. The first section is where you “adore”, the second section is where you “vow”. In the adore section, you tell your story. You tell your perspective of your significant other; how they make you feel, how they’ve changed your life. You tell the origin story of your affection for your significant other.
Now in the vow section, you now make your solemn oath to your significant other. You are going to tell your significant other what you’re committing to. You’re not just committing to being married, you’re committing to how you’re going to be happily married. Now to help get on track, here are the steps you need to get both sections done.
It needs to be unique
When we say we want our vows to be unique, we are actually asking, “What do I need to research?”. Trying to be unique is the hardest part of writing vows, because we think we need to come up with brand-new never before used sentences. This is not the case, you just need to research the things you already know. Such as:
- How did you meet your significant other?
- What hobbies do you share as a couple?
- Are there songs that you both like or perhaps enjoy as a couple?
- What movies or movie characters do you both enjoy?
- What are your favorite quotes? What are your spouses?
- Favorite food? Drink?
- What Video Game do you play together?
- What books, games, movies, or songs that you personally love?
I’m sure there are plenty more that I missed, but basically think about the things you like, your significant other likes, and what you share that contributes to your romance. You don’t even need all of these, you could write very good vows with just one of these. And most likely, while thinking about these things, you can see where the vows can come together.
The “Adore” Section
Now here in the Adore section we are going to split this section into two more sections:
The origin story, and the compliment section.
The Origin Story
As I mentioned before here, you tell the origin story of how you grew to be so enamored by this one other person but from your perspective. Starting off, you should write how you met, and the more honest the better. State the conditions of the situation, your condition in your life at that moment, the emotions you felt throughout.. And if you don’t have some kind of story here, then state how your love grew. I state this because sometimes there are couples who get married who have already known each other before becoming a couple.
Now that you have your origin story ready, let's throw in some romance, if you haven’t already. Just stating how your emotions could be good enough but if you think you need a bit more, just go back to your research.
Intensify the romance with some poetry from those books, games, movies, quotes and songs you like.
Ok now that you shared the origin story from your perspective, you segue to the “Vow” by telling your significant other everything you love about that person. If you have a problem with writing this, don’t fret. The research you did, are not just the things that your significant other enjoys. Hidden in those interests are their qualities that you love, you just have to look a little deeper.
Often when a person is told to think about the things they like about their partner, they can’t come up with a lot and then they begin to doubt their love. This is not uncommon at all, hey love is love right. However, one thing to try is to write a list of ten things you like about your partner. This is often prescribed to couples for therapy, and it always starts off with not having any answers, but then it turns into coming up with dozens of things they both like about the other. This is one technique to try.
Now after you have your compliment section done, you can go about throwing in romance the same way as before. Alter your sentences to become more poetic. Use lines from your research.
The “Vow” Section
By this part of your vows, you most likely are getting a hang of what you need to do. But if you’re still reading, let's get into it. Here we make our solemn oath to our significant other. I do have to confess that I do think that the traditional vows that include “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer” are such good vows already, that I think you should try to say the same exact thing, but using your uniqueness, and your research.
This section should, at least, be as long as the compliment section, if you can do longer that is fine.
Say “I Love you”
Lastly, to wrap it all up, say “I Love You”. A lot of work is put into the whole vow, that saying, I love you, is often forgotten. But don’t forget to make it juicy, come up with the most romantic way to say I love you. Don’t be afraid of using helpful research. A lot of songs, books, and movies contain very good romantic ways to say I love you. It’s even better if it’s a line that your partner loves.
Well there you go, this is the ultimate structure and tips to help you write your wedding vows. Follow this guide and you will do well.