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My Advice For Men

by Brian Pehrson 12 months ago in grooms

The Day is for Her

I am sure by this point in many of our lives we have either been to a few weddings or been in a few weddings. If you have the experience of being a groomsman, flower girl or the coveted bridesmaid then you have seen the true bliss and wonder of weddings. Thousands of hours probably went into planning those weddings and making sure everything was exactly right for everyone there. Food, flower, cake and table presentations HAD to be perfect. The people were arranged perfectly! It was a magical day. And it should be. But who was it all for? Well guys I got good news for you…. the wedding and everything was for her, your best friend, your lover, your soulmate, your everything.

That’s right, I said it. I said the wedding and everything was for her, your best friend, your lover, your soulmate, your everything. if you did not accommodate that then you need to take a good look at yourself and ask why? Why did you not do everything within your ability to provide her the wedding she wants. Were you too proud to compromise on some aspects of the wedding? Or did the two of you not figure out a good financial solution for part of the wedding? If you are reading this before your wedding guys…. think about that. Your soon to be wife should be the most important thing that day. Find the compromise, find the way to make her dream or vision happen. It is the right thing to do.

So, let me tell you about a few things I did for my best friend, for my love on our special day. First you need to know that I did not follow my own advice at first. I was too proud or hard headed to realize the truth. And by no means am I tooting my own horn. I royally messed up trust me.

Our wedding was on 9 August 2014 at an amazing little place called Medicine Park, Oklahoma. It is a very small village, but it’s charm and people are amazing. We picked our venue together based off what we could afford as a couple at the time, the public park for the ceremony and the Old Plantation restaurant for the reception. I did not want the reception there. I mean, we had to use a concrete slab behind the kitchen and set everything up ourselves. My wife wanted it though since it had a large concrete slab for dancing, a bar and she said something about hanging tool between the building and the edge of the concrete slab (see where I am going). I was not really paying attention though because my fiancé (now wife) was beaming with beauty and realizing a vision at the time. As for the rest, we easily worked together in concerns for the cake, catering and seating chart. Now for the decorations!

This is where things change…. greatly. This is where I learned that compromise and making her dream come true really mattered. My much better half wanted the concrete slabs cracks filled in. To easy right? Well, it was, I filled them in by mixing the concrete in a bucket with a shovel. She then wanted everything pressure washed to be clean and some paint added. Again, not a problem I can fix things you know. Then she asked for twine…. yes, twine like from hay bales….to be ran from the roof of the restaurant to the other side where I put in some poles. OK…. now I have a problem with this one. It is Oklahoma in August, which if you have not been there, it is about 104 out. These tasks put me on top of a roof, in August, in Oklahoma, it feels like you are trapped in the desert with no water and no shade. So, me, thinking this is smart idea, said “hell no honey. There is no way on this Earth that I am going to hang freaking twine from the roof of the building to the poles you had me put in.” Ya…. I put my foot down on her dream of our wedding. I crushed it like a lonely ant lost from its colony just wandered into a line dancing contest. Ya I am the man. Ya I was an idiot. That started one of the worst fights we have ever been in, probably the worst actually. After I calmed down and spoke to some of my friends (who were not married) I realized I needed to speak to my friends who were successfully married. Their sage like advice helped much more than my single friends’ advice of “ya screw that bro.”

That advice you ask. Well, the opening paragraph and here just to hit it home for you “the wedding and everything was for her, your best friend, your lover, your soulmate, your everything.” So just to let you know, I put up the twine and even hung tool draped over the twine and lights! I made her dream for our wedding come true. I supported us and her at the same time. I grew up, metaphorically speaking, and realized that on this day, she was more important than my foolish pride. And I will admit, it looked amazing! So, remember guys, the wedding is for her, her day, her dreams. Be a real partner, best friend, lover, and soul mate. Be that person she needs and make her dreams come true. You do that and she will make your dreams come true like my wife did for me.

grooms

Brian Pehrson

I am a 38 year old retired Army Military Police Officer. I am married to my absolute best friend and the most amazing, supportive and intelligent woman I know. We have three children and currently live in Virginia.

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