Just the Three Weddings?

I just, I don’t know. I hadn’t been to a wedding in almost 6 years and then I get hit with 2 cousins and a brother looking to cram 3 in between June and September. My cousins, Helen and Claire, no problem, they gave us lots of time to prepare. My brother Kieran? No, he got engaged at the end of last year and then he decided to stick his date in before either of the aforementioned, June the 8th.

AND ANOTHER THING - not only did he do this but he then asked me to be his (joint) best man! I can tell you, both me and my other brother Michael were DELIGHTED!

But this isn’t really the point, and I’ll tell you why. There are certain rules at weddings, both in the build up and the day itself, and if not adhered to they can become a fly in the ointment for some people!

On the day itself - sitting in the right place at the ceremony- be careful you don’t sit too close to the front if you’re not really involved. Family and close friends will sit with daggers coming out of their eyes at you for the whole day if you plonk yourself up the front when it should really be Aunty Maureen and Uncle Bob, who used to babysit the groom when he was 7.

Pictures after the wedding - now these can be a pain in the posterior. Having said that, the waiting around and eating Haggis bonbons off a tray is all worth it when you see the glossy photo emailed to you by the bride, once received from the photographer - although the KGB style link is a bit much - they’re only photos love.

Now - WHERE ARE WE SITTING AND WHO ARE WE SITTING NEXT TO?

Lord, this is a potential minefield. Do the bride and groom decide to split the family and friends up and go half and half at the tables? Or, do they club everyone together?

Surely if the former is the case, it’s not so much of a big deal for you to engage in conversation with a complete stranger for an hour/hour and half during dinner? No? Or are you sitting there looking for your relatives or friends wondering if they’re having a good laugh and engaging in royal tomfoolery with their new buddies? Are you stuck with the dullards? Or are you even stuck with people who think exactly like you, and can barely concentrate when they’re pouring you a half a glass of iced water to go with your pint of beer you bought and hour ago?

I’m sure the common consensus would be “oh I don’t mind where I sit”. REALLY? You should’ve seen all of us after the dinner, we all rushed back in to the bar and grabbed hold of anyone who was related to us, just to escape the horror of the (actually quite pleasant and chatty) nobodies at the table from hell!

Even more obvious that we are cut from the same cloth - as soon as the waiters had converted the dining room in to a dance hall - we all crammed ourselves round a table that was only really meant for 10 but in the end had about 28 squashed round it - we couldn’t bear the thought of spending any more time with the other lot!

I guess it’s all part of the experience, and at the end I had a great time at each wedding.

Let’s be honest, you’re getting a free 3/4 course meal with a couple of free glasses of wine (more if the waiter isn’t a tight ass), and the company of people who you don’t see much but always have a great time with - it’s not too much of a hardship is it?

Being best man at my brother’s wedding was nerve wracking, but actually a delight in the end. Doing the speech was great fun, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t just do that for him. I organised the stag do and stuff, so it’s something I’ll look back on and be happy that it all went well on the day.

The most memorable moment from the 3 occasions was actually at the last one, just last week in fact. My cousin, Claire, was the bride and her dad is profoundly deaf and dumb and has been his whole life. He asked my dad (his brother) to narrate his speech for him, in order for everyone to hear what he had to say about his daughter and his new son-in-law. It was a lovely moment, even though my dad was like a jack in the box the whole day with nerves!

We probably won’t go to another wedding now for a couple of years at least, and although I’m glad about that it does make me a bit sad. They are great occasions and we all love being with ones we love!

Thank you for reading.