I'm almost 40, divorced and single, and I'm tired of falling in love

I am 38, divorced for 4 years, a single mother with a daughter, already in junior high school.

Boyfriend, 40, divorced for 6 years, with son, also in middle school.

Love has been talking about two years, during the on-off for many times, the reason for breaking up is not detailed, the main responsibility in boyfriend, each time compound is also boyfriend, all kinds of do not give up, all kinds of guarantees, even pray...

Now we have some problems. A few years ago, for various reasons, my boyfriend had debts. I thought he could pay them off last year, but everything went wrong. This includes several unsolicited loans I made to him for emergencies, a total of 30 over two years. Recently my boyfriend is considering selling his car...

I'm not very materialistic, but I do worry. He now rents an apartment with his son in a second-tier city, and he can't expect to earn enough money to buy an apartment, since his son is older. I think, if you can always be together, no big deal he has been renting it, until 60 or 70 years old retirement, home or have a house to live.

I take daughter now is to have a house to live, but the house is the child father home to buy before marriage, divorce when the agreement is good, such as daughter 18 years old after the transfer to the baby, so, I now live in the house, he is not convenient to come to live for a long time, he is not willing to come to live, only weekend come to get together.

Write as many as you think of, it's a bit messy...

I recently some contradictions with him, is primarily caused by the problem of money, he has a unit royalty, amount of about ten, according to his unit capital turnover difficult, is not very good, he has been looking for the opportunity to talk to the boss, but I've heard more than half a year, he did not find the opportunity to talk out a result, I worried about him, and asked twice, he was a bit impatient.

Then, he has a friend, for many years to borrow more than one hundred thousand yuan, has not returned, I urged him to ask for, he was very reluctant to look, for this also have a big quarrel. He meant his friend also have trouble, is take not to come out on their own, he really go to, friends spoke only to find his wife family, his friends, family members don't know how the debt before, so he didn't want to friends make a family conflicts, he go to is to force his friend, he can't open the mouth, and the ten cannot solve the problem. He said he cherished the few friends he had grown up with, the only one he still kept in touch with. He was upset that I didn't understand him.

Anyway, the argument was very serious. I said that sometimes you can't even come up with 20,000 yuan for rent, and you can't go with more than 100,000 yuan. Or, since we are together, it is also my pressure, and I hope that the debt can be cleared as soon as possible. Well, it ended badly...

So, now, although we are together, we also want to go on as far as possible, but it will feel awkward. Usually there are expenses, almost 50/50, I don't give him pressure. And there are questions about the economy, I don't dare to ask him now, ask also can only get silence. I know he's more anxious, more annoyed, more stressed. But without asking, I can only worry, do not know what progress. After all, together, is our business, I also hope he can return my money to me as soon as possible, even if it is the last part of my part, then we can slowly save money for the future...

Sometimes I think, since we're together, we have to consult each other about everything, including his various financial problems, and all his developments, and I have a right to know. If he doesn't want me to ask, and he doesn't want to talk about it, then I won't ask. Just come back to me after you've solved your debt problems.