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How to handle extramarital affairs in your marriage

When a marriage grows old with time, some people start losing their feelings towards their marital partner and get attracted to a third person.

By Human Resource IndiaPublished about a year ago 3 min read
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Most of the time this leads to an extramarital affair that might provide short-term happiness but eventually, it will make the one doing it pay a hefty price and sometimes even end the marriage on bad terms as well.

When you get to know about your partner’s extramarital affair, it is heartbreaking and you would feel like your marriage is broken. All you can feel is betrayed and heartbroken which often keeps you wondering ‘now what?’ An extramarital affair affects both partners as both places are very sensitive to be in. This leads to the victim questioning the foundation of marriage and where things went wrong.

Infidelity does not occur only in troubled marital relations, it can occur in happy marriages too. There are a lot of factors that lead to extramarital affairs such as:

Lack of care & affection

Loss of feelings for each other

Communication Gap

Mental Health Issues

Various kinds of addictions

Stressful periods

Whatever the reason may be but discovering an extra marital affair in your marriage brings up a sense of loss and terrible heartbreak. It affects both partners in multiple ways. The victim feels heartbroken and traumatised whereas the one who cheated on has the fear of being punished forever and the end of the marriage. In this stage, it is very difficult to come up with logical decisions. Therefore, here we are guiding you regarding how to handle such situations in your marriage.

Do not take decisions in frustration

The initial step after you discover your partner having an extra marital affair is to talk with them directly. Ask them openly to be transparent about the affair. They would not agree out of fear and might keep on denying it if you question them without any proof. Even if they do so, do not decide to end the marriage right away. You need to get stable before taking such a big decision in your life. Take your time and take a break to figure out what you actually feel about this relationship. Also, a lot of victims end up harming themselves once they get to know about their partner cheating on them. Avoid doing such immature acts and seek professional help if required.

Consult a marriage counsellor

In such sensitive cases, the best way to find a solution is to consult a marriage counsellor who can guide you in making the correct decisions for your future life. Connect with a counsellor who is highly experienced in dealing with extramarital affairs and they will help you find out the issues that led to the affair. If you and your partner are willing to work on this relationship and give it another chance then they will guide you on how to reform your bond and make it stronger instead of opting for divorce. A lot of people do change after making a mistake, so if you think your partner is going to change then consulting a marriage counsellor is the right option for you.

Both partners need to take the responsibility

If you both are willing to stay together after such an incident then there should be efforts from both sides. The one who cheated must take the responsibility for having an extramarital affair, end it, and put in effort to gain back the love & trust of their spouse. The victim should work on the issues that led to the affair so that the marriage gets back on a happy track. Also, each of them must express whatever they feel about each other and work on mending their relationship.

Recollect the good times and build up the broken trust

Every marriage is filled with a lot of good memories. Think of the good times that you spent together before deciding to end the marriage. The one who cheated must make more efforts to make the relationship work and build up the broken trust of their partner. To make things work you must go on dates, communicate with each other, spend a lot of time together and be transparent. This will help in building love again.

Conclusion

Extramarital affairs are the most crucial things to deal with in a marriage. It is very necessary to deal with it logically and patiently. You can seek the help of your friends and family whenever you end up in such a situation. But, not everyone would give you the correct advice. So, whenever you feel that your spouse might be having an extramarital affair and you need to confront them, it is better to hire a private detective London who will help you gather strong evidence and guide you throughout the process.

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Human Resource India

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