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Advice Grooms Should Never Listen To

There's good advice, and then there's advice grooms should never listen to, no matter who shares it.

By Sherry CampbellPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Why does the big day always seem to revolve around the bride? After all, there are two people involved. On love and marriage, the groom's actions and decisions are just as essential as the bride's. With that in mind, it's time to share vital advice grooms should never listen to because it's outdated, nonsensical, or downright unfair.

Go ahead and wing it with your vows.

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Improvising on the big day is a bad idea all the way around. Of all the advice grooms should never listen to, it easily tops the list. At the very least, you need to jot down ideas for your vows as you go. It's all right that you don't want to give a speech or memorize the promises you make to your spouse-to-be, but you can't go into the ceremony with no clue about what you want to say. A rough outline will help you to follow your train of thought. Bear in mind that there's nothing wrong with reading from note cards or a sheet of paper during the ceremony, either. The sentiments matter more than the delivery.

Have a cash bar.

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What are you doing, trying to have the worst wedding ever? It's always a bad idea to ask your guests to pay for booze. Sure, it seems like you're saving money, and you probably will come out ahead a few hundred bucks, but what's the actual cost? Your guests will be angry, if not outright resentful, and they're less likely to cut loose and have a good time. Open bars may get a bit raucous, but everyone's guaranteed to have a rollicking good time.

Just let the bride shine.

Funnily enough, here's a piece of advice grooms should never listen to that everyone gives them. There's this idea that a wedding is all about the bride and she's the only one who matters. That's not true at all. A wedding is about the bride and groom—or the grooms—or the brides. The point is that both people matter. It's your wedding day, too. You should feel and look like the most handsome man in the world.

Forget about hiring a wedding planner.

Don't. The wedding planning process is brutal. Skipping on a wedding planner is horrible advice grooms should never listen to, and brides should ignore it, too. Every couple needs help during the planning stages. It's even more necessary to execute every detail properly. Ask for help, whether you hire a professional planner or enlist the help of some well-organized friends.

Write a comedic groom speech.

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Everyone encourages the groom to be funny during his speeches. Throw it up there with all the other pieces of awful advice grooms should never listen to because it only works if you're naturally funny. Forced jokes never go over well, and it's almost impossible to play to your audience since it's composed of family members and friends from all walks of life. Should you decide to include a few humorous anecdotes in your speeches, then make sure they're charming and heartfelt, not derogatory or mean-spirited.

Spend three months of your salary on the ring.

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There's a lot of outdated wedding-related advice grooms should never listen to, but this is the biggest pile of bologna. Everyone planning a wedding is thinking about how to save money for their wedding day, and the woman who loves you shouldn't care how much you spend on her ring. Besides, that much money is better spent on the ceremony or the honeymoon. Choose something that your partner will love, a ring that suits her personality and style. That means more than the price tag.

Apply for a loan to finance the wedding.

As it happens, much of the advice grooms should never listen to revolves around money and wedding expenses. Always plan a wedding you can afford. The days where the bride's family financed the whole shindig are more or less over. Today's couples prefer to foot the bill themselves. Don't go into debt to throw a huge bash, however. You don't want to begin your married life with a bank loan or loaded credit card hanging around your neck.

Let the bride plan everything.

Giving the bride full reign is particularly bad advice, but grooms have been receiving it for nearly as long as there have been weddings. It's worth mentioning again that this is your day, too. You have every right to speak up for what you want. Crappy advice grooms should never listen to will tell you to let the bride run the show because it's not important, but it is. If you have an opinion about the cake, flowers, or venue, then say so. Your voice deserves to be heard.

A black tuxedo is the only option.

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Brides receive fashion tips all over the place, but grooms receive lackluster advice that pushes them to wear basic, black tuxedos. Talk about boring! Consider this another piece of advice grooms should never listen to. You can wear anything you want—including a tux in an unexpected color! Heck, you might want to get married in jeans and cowboy boots! Wear an ensemble that highlights your personal style. Again, you deserve to feel like a good-looking, fashionable man on your wedding day.

Allow the boys to be boys.

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You cannot let your groomsmen wild out on your wedding day—or the night before. Yes, everyone wants to have a good time. Yes, those are your boys. Yes, this is your last hurrah. None of that excuses bad behavior, though. Tell the fellows to behave themselves. They don't have to sit around and read books, but there's a time and a place for hardcore partying. The wedding week is not the time.

Lay back in the cut.

Stand out in the wedding photos and talk to the photographer about the locations and poses you want. Is there a song you want to hear? A dance you want to do? For the grooms in the back, let's repeat: This is also your wedding. It needs to have your stamp on it. The most significant pieces of advice grooms should never listen to tell them to sit back and let the bride rule everything, but the two of you are a couple embarking on your lives together. You need to do you, too.

Do you have any advice grooms should never listen to or tips that they should definitely follow? Give the guys some love, why don't you? The grooms ought to have a smooth, memorable wedding day, too.


About the Creator

Sherry Campbell

Second grade teacher by day, at home therapist for two middle school daughters by night.

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