13 Things That’ll Save Your Sanity During Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding may be one of the most stressful undertakings of this lifetime. I hope you can learn from or at least laugh at my failures during this trying time. The wedding itself was damn near magical, the actual marriage was not as enchanting. If you find any of this useful, please consider donating a tip to my divorce relief fund

1. Everyone will have an opinion on everything wedding related. They’ll also think that their opinion is actually fact and will have a hard time understanding that you don’t want baby doves stuffed in mason jars as your centerpieces. If you’re easily swayed by others, you may want to seriously consider eloping.

2. If you are considering eloping, please inform your parents or risk hearing about if at every family function for the rest of your life. There’s also the strong possibility that they’ll disown you.

3. Weddings are expensive, like, really expensive. Because you ideally only do this once, manufacturers jack up the prices on anything marriage related. To combat this, look on Etsy for wedding bands and get creative if you’re using a search engine. Try to avoid using words like: “bride,” “groom” and “wedding.” Instead, search words like “white” and “party.”

4. Because they’re super pricey, pick two things you want to concentrate your cash on and skimp a little on the others. We chose food and booze…because it’s food and booze.

5. Craigslist will be your BFF. Other people will sell off their wedding decorations for a fraction of the retail price. Some folks are so desperate to get rid of the 20 clear umbrellas they’ve been storing under their sofa that they’ll actually give them away.

6. It’s okay to ask for cash. More traditional people will think it’s tacky, but what do you really need when you’re starting a life together? Money. Sites like honeyfund.com keep the process pretty straightforward.

7. Accept that it’s not going to be perfect. Whether it’s your deranged cousin getting drunk and trying to ride a sawhorse down the street or burnt potatoes, something is bound to go not quite right. It’s okay. In fact, it makes the day more memorable.

8. Attention brides: use waterproof makeup. I know it’s not entirely tear proof, but it’ll prevent the raccoon eye effect long enough to get through the ceremony and into a bathroom for touchups.

9. And you will most likely cry, or at least tear up. I intend on battling the urge with a strategically placed pin in my bouquet. I’ll let you know how that works out.

*UPDATE! It worked perfectly! The marriage, not so much.*

10. Involve your future in-laws. Don’t be the dick that plans their whole wedding without your significant others’ parents. You’re marrying into their family. I’m not saying they should have a say on everything but including them in something like the seating chart will avoid unnecessary drama.

11. After you’ve had your iconic “say yes to the dress” moment, it’s time for alterations. My mother has taught me many valuable life lessons but the one that has literally saved my ass more than once is this: “before buying anything that goes on your body, sit down in it.” When it’s time for alterations, make sure you sit while everything is still temporary. You know, before it’s too late and you’re sliding off a tiny chair because you’ve lost the ability to bend at the waist.

12. I know I said we chose food and booze to focus our monetary assets on, but because we chose a relatively inexpensive venue (check out the historical society in your area), we splurged a little on the photographer. They’re going to be capturing your once in a lifetime moments…they’re kind of important. Go with someone you feel comfortable around, who has proven their talents and who’s bound to frame your special day into gorgeous memories.

13. Don't forget to enjoy it…and maybe try not to end up like your deranged cousin.