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10 Signs You Need to Rethink Your Wedding Plans

Is your dream wedding turning into a nightmare? You might need to rethink your wedding plans if these things ring true.

By Mackenzie Z. KennedyPublished 5 years ago 6 min read
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Wedding planning is truly a whirlwind of chaos, drama, romance, and fun. It's a time when you're supposed to pick out your fine china, get a little excited over that special, white dress, and fuss over seating arrangements together. Yes, if you're lucky, planning a wedding will be a dream come true.

Of course, there are some situations where your dream come true turns into a nightmare. Whether you want to admit it or not, there's a chance that the wedding you're trying to push through really shouldn't happen at all.

Have you been wondering if you're really meant to be together? These signs suggest you need to rethink your wedding plans—or just cancel it altogether.

Your in-laws are bringing out the claws.

I'm one who always advocates against marrying into a family that hates you, and I'm not going to stop advising against it either. When you marry into a family that treats you like a persona non grata, you're making your future life hell.

Even if your spouse defends you in front of his parents, you need to rethink your wedding plans. Do you really want to marry into a family who made it clear they don't want you in it? Are you willing to endure terrible holidays, catty remarks, or, worse, an in-law making a scene at your wedding?

I'm just saying that it's not usually worth the effort. In this case, you might want to rethink being with your partner at all.

Your wedding plans are spiraling out of control, and it's making you miserable.

Putting together a wedding can get seriously ugly. We've all heard horror stories involving wedding plans that go way over budget, wedding planners who start bullying clients into contracts they don't like, and families of the bride or groom who insist on doing things their way, despite what the soon-to-be newlyweds might want.

Take a moment to think about your wedding goals. Do you feel like your wedding isn't really "yours" anymore? Do you feel like your guests and wedding party have started to play judge, jury, and executioner?

A lot of couples end up regretting their wedding plans because it's so much drama. If you're really feeling cornered, you need to rethink your wedding and consider eloping.

Something just doesn't feel right.

Did you know that one of the most common predictors of divorce that people cite is a feeling of dread when it comes to walking down the aisle? Sure, a little cold feet is common, but not to the point of literally dreading it from happening.

So far, every single couple I've seen that had a pervasive feeling of dread and sorrow on their big day has split. It may suck to hear, but it could be a sign that you're making the wrong decision. This is a significant wedding problem that suggests a far deeper problem with your relationship.

If you're not 100 percent sure you want to marry this person, do yourself a solid and go to a wedding counselor beforehand. Or, better yet, postpone it until you figure out what you really want.

You're not really feeling a wedding, per se.

Sometimes, people just aren't "wedding people."

For every single person that is all about the wedding plans, the bridesmaids gowns, the catering, and the open bar, there's another who can't stand dealing with all the minutiae. I know this because I am one of those "not a wedding" people.

If you feel like you're being browbeat into a wedding, take a step back and ask yourself why you aren't eloping. You might save money, time, sanity, and general happiness in the long run.

Your spouse's behavior is totally abnormal—and not in a good way.

Did you know that a lot of abusers only show their face after they're engaged to get married? It's true, and it often starts showing in ways that make people wonder whether or not they are just feeling stressed due to planning.

Sudden, ugly changes in your betrothed's behavior shouldn't be ignored. This is especially true with "bridezilla" style tantrums, since it's often an indicator that your spouse really sees you as more of a prop than a person.

This kind of unrecognizable behavior is never a good sign. It's often a sign that your spouse really doesn't love you as much they claim to. It's also a sign of things to come if you choose to tie the knot.

Any wedding planning suggestions you made got shut down.

As far as warning signs go, this could be a serious one or it could be a total nonissue. It all depends on how much you care about the wedding, really.

A person who really doesn't care about wedding planning will be happy to let their betrothed call the shots. That would make this red flag a nonissue, and honestly may even suggest teamwork in some cases.

If you're one of those people who honestly cares a lot about the details of your wedding, you should be very worried when your spouse refuses to entertain any of your suggestions.

This could be a sign of disrespect that your spouse has, a sign that they don't care what you think, or just a sign that your opinions aren't really being heard as well as you think they are. Either way, you may need to take pause and rethink your wedding plans.

You're legitimately concerned about fights breaking out during the wedding.

Weddings are typically found to have their own unique blend of drama involving dresses, corsages, and maybe one or two catty BFFs. This is normal drama, and not much to be worried about in the grand scheme of things.

What isn't normal, though, is worrying about how to corral your friends and family into separate piles out of fear of a physical altercation. Sadly, this is a legitimate concern when it comes to some wedding plans.

A single problem guest may not be enough reason to rethink a wedding. You can plan around a person and also get a bouncer to keep them away from the venue.

Having several problem guests on your guest list that are "obligation invites," on the other hand, could be a good reason to avoid a wedding altogether. Or, you know, you can just not invite them; there are people you shouldn't feel forced to invite to your wedding after all. Either way, if you're getting really concerned about actual fights breaking out on your big day, this would be the time to ask if a wedding celebration is necessary.

The relationship you're in hasn't been good for a while, and you're hoping a wedding will fix things.

You should never have a "Band-Aid wedding" unless the problem that your spouse has been having with you is explicitly a lack of marriage vows. Most problems will only be made worse after you walk down the aisle.

If your fights have gotten pretty bad lately, and you're starting to wonder if a wedding will "change her back to normal," you need to rethink your wedding plans. Chances are, your marriage will be a foul one if you continue forward.

It seems like every single professional you've tried to hire has given you some type of grief.

The wedding industry is really not kind, and I totally understand that. It's an industry that is hyper-expensive and specifically designed to cater to people who act like divas. Unfortunately, this means that, when you're considering when booking a venue or dealing with vendors, things can turn into a nightmare.

Sometimes, weddings are made under an unlucky star. If everything seems to be going wrong, you might want to reconsider actually having a wedding. It may be better for you to just decide to elope.

Trust me, it could be a lot easier this way.

You really aren't 100 percent on board with this.

Hello? Wake up! This is your life! You get to make the decision on what you want to do with it—not anyone else. If you feel you need to rethink your wedding plans, you need to hit the pause button yesterday.

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About the Creator

Mackenzie Z. Kennedy

Socialite and dating guru Mackenzie Kennedy knows all about the inner workings of people and society as a whole. It's not only her lifestyle - it's her passion. She lives in Hoboken with her pet dogs, Cassie and Callie.

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