10 Signs You Need to Call the Wedding Off
You ordered the dress and got the rings, but if you notice these red flags, you need to call the wedding off.
He proposed, she said yes, and planning is underway. At this point, people typically assume that it'll be a "happily ever after" moment, where the couple will be together forever. However, around 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, so clearly, it's not really wise to assume this.
Strangely enough, the cracks in a seemingly solid relationship really start to show when wedding planning starts to happen. It's one of the reasons why weddings are "make it or break it" moments for couples.
Around 1 of every 20 engagements will be called off, often due to serious relationship problems that don't ever seem to improve. Many of those engagements happen to get broken off because of one too many arguments or one too many moments where one of the two individuals wonders if it's really worth staying.
In many cases, the reasons why couples split off is because they notice some of the most telling signs you should call the wedding off... such as the ones below.
We all know the old bachelor joke about your life being over once you're hitched, but that's really just supposed to be a joke. The same can be said about "runaway bride" matters.
Marriage is a good thing! You should celebrate your big day! Anyone who acts like they are walking down the aisle to their doom needs to re-evaluate what they're doing with their lives.
If you've been dreading the wedding date, drinking yourself numb, or just dragging your feet with wedding planning, ask yourself if you really want this in your life. Is your partner really what you want them to be?
If you honestly don't feel excited about marriage and actually find yourself dreading it, you might want to call off the wedding. You will not have a happy marriage with them if you stay.
Your partner has had a seriously violent outburst that is totally out of character.
Believe it or not, many abusers are actually able to hide their controlling, jealous, and violent tendencies until they get married. As the big day approaches, many abusers will get emboldened into showing their real face to the woman who they're about to marry.
The thinking behind this is that you are "already basically theirs," which means that they can start treating you the way they wanted to. Should you notice a very violent outburst that involves them talking about "their woman," it's time to call off the wedding immediately.
Seems drastic? Perhaps, but domestic violence isn't a laughing matter and doing this could save your life. You can never be too careful when dealing with a potential abuser.
Wedding planning is not easy. Hammering out all those little details can be emotionally taxing and exhausting, to the point that it becomes a source of stress. A lot of relationship issues tend to surface during the time when you're planning out the details of a big bash.
Take a look at how you and your partner have been handling wedding planning. Are you finding yourself feeling worn ragged by planning a wedding with an unsupportive partner? Does it feel like planning the wedding is becoming an uphill, never-ending battle?
If you have regularly approached your partner about planning issues without luck, it may be time to consider canceling the wedding. This is often a warning sign that your partner doesn't want to get married—or that you'll end up having to be the one to try to keep a relationship together.
Premarital counseling has fallen through.
Premarital counseling is meant to help young couples determine whether or not they should get married at all. How it works depends on the couple's situation, background, and personal philosophy.
In some cases, it can help fix issues before they become dealbreakers. In other cases, it's a way to help both parties determine whether or not they are on the same page about life.
A pretty damning sign that you should call off the wedding is when premarital counseling doesn't help you get on the same page with your fiancee—or worse, when your partner refuses counseling despite a clear need for it. At this point, they're showing you that they don't want to fix their issues, so why continue the relationship?
Don't ask why, but a lot of people who have spending problems only really have it show during the later stages of relationships. If you notice that your partner is spending money you don't have, urging you to overspend, or having moments where their spending just doesn't make sense, you need to take pause.
Marriage isn't just a romantic gesture; it's a business partnership. If your partner is bankrupting you or showing clear signs of financial infidelity, you are entering into a bad deal. Moreover, marriage is a life sentence when it comes to finances.
If your partner can't control spending on the wedding, chances are that they won't care about any other form of budgeting either. For the sake of your credit score and your ability to keep a roof over your head, cancel the wedding!
You're legitimately worried about your partner's behavior at the wedding or at the bachelor/bachelorette party.
We all have heard the stories of strippers hitting it with the groom the night of the stag party, but that doesn't usually happen. We also usually hear of grooms who may have gotten drunk to the point that they embarrass themselves, but once again, that usually doesn't happen.
If you can't trust your partner to behave, you really need to take pause and ask yourself why you're marrying this person. Your spouse is the person you want to trust with everything—your money, your kids, your dreams, and yes, your own life.
If you can't trust them to stay loyal to you, you shouldn't marry them. Divorce is horrible, and if you can't trust your partner, you're headed towards it fast.
You might be marrying one person, but it'd be a lie to say that you're not also marrying into a family. Many couples eventually divorce due to the pressure caused by in-laws, especially if one member of the couple won't stand up on behalf of their spouse.
Frankly, coping with terrible in-laws is a particularly cruel form of hell. It's one that almost never results in a happy marriage or an easy life. Do yourself a favor; if you notice in-law problems springing up, call the wedding off and part ways.
Even if you love your partner, hating their family is a sign it won't work out. As bad as you may feel now, it will save you a lot of heartache, stress, and turmoil later on.
You feel isolated, unimportant, or totally worthless during your wedding planning time.
Are you getting the feeling that your partner keeps pushing away your friends and family? Does it sometimes feel like they treat you more like a prop than they do a person?
The time when you're planning a wedding should be one where you feel connected with everyone, loved, and, most importantly, happy where you are in life. If your partner keeps pushing away the people you like, or keeps putting down the suggestions you have, this is a bad sign.
Actually, it's worse than a bad sign. It's a sign that you are being emotionally abused and that things are going to go from bad to worse when you walk down the aisle.
Generally speaking, when you have friends step up and tell you that your partner isn't good for you, you need to listen. Friends will typically try to be supportive of any relationship you have unless it's reallytoxic for you.
It's exceedingly rare that people will actually go out of their way to ask you to stop a wedding for your own sake. It's gauche, and most people generally won't do it out of fear of a backlash from you.
If your friends and family are warning you about the person you're going to marry, you should listen to them and call the wedding off immediately. They are risking your relationship with them because they're worried about where the relationship is headed.
Deep down inside, you know this wedding is probably a mistake.
Finally, one of the most telling signs you need to call the wedding off comes from your gut. Do you feel like you're making a mistake, or like you are going to regret it? Does the idea of wearing a wedding dress make you feel queasy?
Studies have shown that people who have that gut feeling tend to have higher divorce rates than those who don't. If you have that vibe of making a horrible mistake, you might want to listen to that feeling. You might end up just dodging a bullet.