When I Grow Up

I told my partner this year “I want to be good at sleep when I grow up,” as we celebrated 2022’s birth. He asked me, “why not now”?

As someone with both bipolar disorder and narcolepsy, I’ve got a unique relationship with sleep. Sleep sometimes is like the alcohol that has spent too much time in your body and has you searching for a bottomless breakfast the next day (sleeping 15+ hours a day). Sometimes it’s like spongebob on a krabby-patty-making-marathon, no sleep needed, just a great time! Also I can thank genetics; my mom still shares stories of having to wake me up to eat as a baby because I just preferred sleep to food, which still hasn’t changed decades later. Many don’t have a clear understanding of these two disorders and how they affect a person, so just a quick note on that.

Bipolar is not the back and forth on a swing at the park, it’s living in the back and it’s living in the forth, with landing in the middle being the result of hard work. Also, people are not bipolar, they are in fact people who happen to have bipolar.

Narcolepsy is not falling asleep while eating a bowl of cheerios, it’s lacking the ability to wake yourself after going to bed the night before resulting in 15+ hours of sleep. It’s battling with sleep inertia and fatigue with some days being easier than others. It means being unable to go to work because sleep is stronger than your need to live a quality life. People with narcolepsy are not lazy, lazy is a choice and narcolepsy does not give choices.

So, that’s why I want to be good at sleep when I grow up, because doing so supports my overall wellbeing. Sleep has ripple effects just like taking medication, eating nutritious food, drinking water, and exercising do. Most articles discussing sleep hygiene discuss not staring at your phone too long at night or meditating before sleep, while both great tips, my approach has to be much more than that.

What does it take to be good at sleep? How does one be “good at sleep” when they have so much against them? I believe the answer is to love yourself and to accept your needs without judgment. I, with the help of my partner, broke it down and I’ve included that below should anybody need ideas to be “good at sleep.”

If you’re not aware you cannot respond appropriately.

1. Acknowledge the struggle that sleep is for you.

2. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up for you, recognize where they exist in your body.

3. Find ways prior to sleep to release these emotions from your body (if sad, cry or journal - if mad, scream sing ABCDEFU by Gayle or journal, if defeated, list areas in which I feel strong, etc). I’m very body aware (mindfulness) and believe emotions do so much to us!

* These steps should happen prior to sleep, a minimum of 1 hour before, no sooner.

If you’re aware you can move forward with confidence.

1. Have a consistent bedtime and follow it every night.

2. Take a hot bath to soothe any chronic pain and to relax your muscles.

3. Limit screen usage.

4. Make sure bedding is clean and comfortable. The quality of pillows and your mattress is important!

5. Check the atmosphere of the room; temperature, lighting, air flow, smell. Make adjusts where needed.

6. Drink a glass of water (if it won’t wake you during the night).

7. Take any medications you are prescribed - medication adherence has an impact on sleep.

Waking up is just as important as falling asleep.

1. Have a plan, always set an alarm, even on the weekends

2. Listen to your alarm, even on the weekends

3. Get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off, standing up gets your body systems moving.

4. Get dressed.

5. Eat a breakfast, something small works, you aren’t IHOP.

6. Take any prescribed medications - medication adherence helps you have a good day which impacts mood and sleep later that night.

7. Take time to celebrate yourself and what you accomplished because sleep is hard for you.

These three areas are critical to my sleep hygiene given my unique circumstances. I know there are so many out there who not only struggle with sleep, but battle with their mental health every day. Quality sleep is an ally when it comes to fighting the war against our stressors and challenges, so no need to be good at sleep growing up, why not be good at sleep now?