Twenty Reasons To Smell Babies That Aren't Creepy

I am so sick and gosh dang tired of people criticizing Joe Biden for liking the way people smell. I mean, don't we spray ourselves with colognes, perfumes, body sprays and all sorts of other stuff in order to smell good? Don't we wear deodorant and shower? I thought people were trying to smell good, but I guess we want to smell good but not be smelled? Or maybe that's just when Joe Biden does the smelling?

This article isn't about the hypocrisy behind all this false outrage with Joe Biden however. This article is about something positive: how babies smell! Like it or not, people smell good, with babies the best smelling amongst us! So why wouldn't a person, especially a person with old skin, want to smell a baby!

So sit back, strap on your smelling boots, and check out the top 20 reasons to smell babies that totally aren't creepy at all, not even slightly.

20. They smell great! I mean, that's just obvious, right?

19. You need to remember how to smell things! Sometimes smelling stuff helps trigger better brain function, and that may be why Joe Biden does it so often.

18. Babies like to be smelled! If Joe Biden is a man of the people, why wouldn't be make babies as happy as he makes voters?

17. You need to make sure the baby isn't sick! You can smell the flu, especially on the baby. Some strains of the cold too. So obviously, smelling babies is for their own good!

16. You need to secretly smell the baby's parents or whoever may be holding it! If you suspect someone may be drinking while holding a baby, smelling their baby is a good way so slyly sniff them.

15. You miss the taste of baby food! Who doesn't miss the taste of baby food? I know I do. Smelling a baby's breath is a good way to remind yourself of the delicious taste and flavor provided in baby food.

14. You need to make sure the baby is being bathed! Some parents are neglectful, either accidentally, out of ignorance, and sadly even out of abuse. Smelling babies is a great way to make sure they are getting the proper care they deserve.

13. You see something weird on the baby and need to investigate! If you are concerned that a baby may be carrying a bomb, drugs or even anthrax, smelling the baby is a good way to discover if they are in possession of anything illegal.

12. You're avoiding someone! Maybe you see someone you don't want to talk to. It happens to all of us, all the time. So, just smell the nearest baby instead. They can't be mad that you chose to smell a baby, and the baby, and the baby's parents, will thank you for it!

11. You're going to have shrimp for dinner! Nuff said.

10. You need to make sure the baby has clean clothes! Similar to the baby being bathed, clean clothes are essential to the child's health.

9. The baby has toys! The baby may have toys, so smell the baby and distract him in that fun, entertaining way so he or she (the baby) doesn't get tired of its toy.

8. You're trying to lose weight! Smelling babies is a great way to lose those extra pounds. A giant inhale actually burns 5 calories, so smell away folks.

7. You have applied for a bank loan! If you've applied for a bank loan, be sure to smell the baby of your potential lender. You'll make the baby's day, plus probably get the loan.

6. You need an excuse to avoid travel to China! If enough babies vouch for you, nobody will ever ask you to travel to China. That would just be reckless.

5. The baby has a dirty diaper! The baby may have a dirty diaper.

4. It will help the baby grow mentally. The more strangers who smell a baby, the smarter that baby becomes.

3. You're trying to quit cigarettes! Cigarette smoking is super unhealthy, so if you are trying to quit, smell a baby instead! You'll remind yourself how precious how life is, plus no parents want a smoker smelling their child.

2. You're unsure it's a real baby and not a decoy baby with a bomb in it! It's a scenario which happens all too often: decoy bomb babies being used to commit terrorism. If you see a baby that looks fake and you don't smell it to find out, you are risking people's lives!

20. They smell great! I know we already said it but it bears repeating.

I bet anyone who thinks Joe Biden is creepy feels silly now!