Top Stories vs. Challenges

Another Challenge done; another disappointment to swallow…

I sometimes wonder if I want to win one of these Challenges. As I wrote before, I feel that winning one is a wonderful experience…but it also puts a target on your back. It is akin to winning the lottery: friends turn into enemies; you begin to wonder what you did that one time to get the laurel crown; the pressure to repeat yourself grows. I say this about both the top winners and the runners-up. I have admired and read too many of them to feel like I should be jealous…and yet…I have to wonder…

With one of my last stories, on the exact day that the winners and runners-up of a Challenge were announced, I was told that I had received a Top Story prize (that $5 tip is always a surprise). I appreciated this and was glad that some attention would adhere to a piece that I admired – “Heaven in the Voice Room” – but I wondered about this particular coincidence. I have received over forty of these prizes (posted on a special link you can hit right here), and often the response from my fellow Vocalists has been quite generous and insightful…but I wonder…

Am I missing something?

Am I not giving Vocal something that my fellow winning contributors can?

I have been so close to giving up on my work, only to find myself drawn to another challenge by either the staff here or from another writer. I have found work that I thought was simply throwaway stuff praised and admired. And I have found work that I have had to redo, rewrite or just pound into some sort of shape that could not be denied, ignored and left low on the list of stats and reads and likes.

To be fair, all writers – and many artists – have gone through this. Anthony Burgess always wondered why, out of all of his books, “A Clockwork Orange” was his most successful work. Rock and roll groups that survived the sixties, seventies and eighties often have fans that refuse to let them grow past those decades and their youthful prowess. And can anyone name a painting by Da Vinci that followed his “La Gioconda”? Okay, maybe that last one is a little unfair (painters can blossom in old age), but you understand my point when I say that you cannot predict what the public wants.

And what does Vocal want? I am taking a big chance by writing this. I have the draft of a story – well, just the title and an unformed idea in my head – save in the Stories folder; there is another contest deadline with the CBC that I will enter again; and I am considering entering an old page with some new ideas based on their weekly prompts.

But am I just fooling myself?

Many of you have been kind to me over the years. It took me a long time to gain your favour, and I believe that my writing has improved over the more than six years I have joined the page, but I need your honesty now more than just another Valentine heart and nice comment…

Do I keep doing what I do…or…?

No pressure.

😊

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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