La Quinta Nights

Since November 27th, I’ve been working on an essay about why I am a grinch. I have spent probably hours really sitting with my feelings and sorting out why the holidays make me feel this way, and carefully crafting them into a piece to publish. But now, I am in the holiday spirit, and it doesn’t feel right to publish that right before Christmas for a variety of reasons, so on the shelf like an elf it goes until at least January. It seems like a shame to finally sort out all those personal, complicated feelings about the holidays and not share them with strangers, but four days before Christmas is not the time and place. My therapist and best friend would be proud. So instead, on this winter solstice, from a hotel bed in downtown Austin, I will tell you about La Quinta nights and why everyone needs one from time to time, (as well as why I want to live in one and it is a very solid argument.)

I love hotels. Wait, let me clarify. I love the caliber of hotel I now stay in at 43 years old, not the ones of my 20’s and 30’s where all I cared about was the cheapest room but would bring my own bedding and flip flops for the shower. When I was in my mid-30’s and driving almost two hours each way to barber school, I found a cheap hotel near my school and would stay from time to time if my schedule allowed it, rather than doing the drive, and I think it was about $35 a night. I would not touch anything in it, but it was close and cheap. These are not the kind of hotels I love. I don’t even need expensive hotels- I love new La Quintas, generally most IHG hotels, and Hilton chains. I love hotel sheets, and comfortable beds. I love lying in a hotel bed eating takeout and watching hotel TV, because I would never lay in bed at home eating food, and for some reason watching television at a hotel is superior to watching the same shows at home. I often wish I had a job that required me to travel -and often apply to such jobs- so that I could stay in a hotel more frequently. I love checking into a new room and finding fun little things about it. For example, the room I am in right now has a little pull-out shelf where the coffee lives, and I think that is neat. I get all sorts of design ideas from hotels, should we ever build or remodel a home. I love seeing what shampoos they offer, what artwork has been chosen, and how creatively they’ve used the space. And as much as I like my day-to-day routine, I also love a change in scenery, and hotels offer that, and almost every single hotel room I’ve ever walked into, I say to myself, or out loud, that OH MY GOD I COULD LIVE HERE.

And I could. I could live in a La Quinta. In fact, I would love it. Why? I’m glad you asked. Because it is easy. For one monthly rate, you have your rent or mortgage paid. Your internet. Your cable. Your phone. Your electricity, trash and water. If you choose carefully, you can have a gym and pool, including maintenance, included in that monthly rate as well. Free breakfast every morning, and most locations have coffee available at all hours of the day. You never have to take your trash out again- just set it outside your door! Housekeeping? No problem. You never have to make a bed again. Or clean a toilet. Or a shower. Basically, no chores. And I’m convinced the secret to happiness (or one of them at least,) is to have as few chores as possible. We have (maybe) one life, and it goes exceptionally fast, so I want to spend as little of it as I can doing chores- which is really what separates a hotel room from an apartment. Apartments, you are still on the hook for utilities and taking out the trash, which is why hotels are the superior choice. And although La Quinta does not offer room service, you could find a hotel that does, AND a complimentary breakfast, and you are golden. And they are pet friendly. So as far as I am concerned, I can’t think of a much better life choice than living in a La Quinta. I know what you may be thinking- but that’s a pretty small space! And I would like to remind you that I lived in a 200 square foot Airstream quite comfortably, thank you very much. I know what else you might be thinking- what about your husband? Also, easy- he can get the room next door, and our rooms can be conjoining with one of those doors that go between the two spaces, and we can call it our secret passageway and it will be awesome (also applicable to a duplex, which is another idea I have when I can afford to have a regular housekeeper.) Or we can get a suite. There are solutions to every challenge, and I am not worried about it at all.

In the meantime, I have La Quinta nights, which is what this whole thing is about. When I start to feel overwhelmed with everything, I put myself up in a hotel for a night or two and check out when I check in. When I feel like I have talked to too many people, or my laundry pile has gotten too big, and the sound of plates and fans and light switches start to sound really loud, I give myself a break. The older I get, and the more I learn about ADHD in adult women, the more convinced I have it. Especially when I read about emotional dysregulation and bursts of anger when overstimulated. If I needed any convincing, it is that. So, I am trying to take better stock of my emotions, and letting my partner know what my needs are. I feel so grateful that he understands as best he can, and supports these La Quinta nights, because I know I can’t fully explain what is going on inside my body when I know I need one. And I am trying to be better about not ignoring it, so that I don’t explode, or at least don’t explode as frequently. When I am annoyed at everything, or am crying easily, or can’t keep up with basic chores, or my morning routine is disrupted and it feels catastrophic, it is time for a La Quinta night. Because I am at max capacity and need to be alone. And I need to be alone a lot. Even when I lived alone, I would need to be alone, and would ask my partner to take my dog for a day or two.

I don’t know how regular people do it. My sister amazes me, for example. She has two small children, a regular job, her own med spa, a husband, and a clean house and I just could never. I’ve found I can do two things at a time, three things max, and that’s pushing it, and sometimes just owning a salon and trying to be a good wife are the two things I can do, and everything else has to wait. I can do hair and work on my book in a day, but not be a present spouse. I can write and go to the gym, but not do dishes. I can write and be a good partner, but not do hair. You get it. It feels like a lot for someone that gets overwhelmed very easily, which is why I think I do so well with a regular routine, and another reason why I think I enjoy hotels so much. All I have to do in a hotel room is nothing. There is no pressure, and no expectations. Realistically speaking, most of the pressure I feel on a day-to-day basis is self-imposed, but I feel like a shitty wife a lot of the time. I wish I could juggle everything better without melting into a puddle of tears when I’m overstimulated, which is another reason I need La Quinta nights. The laundry isn’t glaring at me, the dishes aren’t calling my name, the floors aren’t screaming, “VACCUUM ME,” and I feel completely relaxed. A hotel room is such a controlled, low-stress environment that needs nothing from me, and I am able to focus on everything else, or simply do nothing and decompress. Or write. I can get more writing done in two days in a hotel than I can in two weeks in my house, even though I have a home office. I think there is also an element of going into a new space that makes my brain feel fresh and creative- it is a new setting, a different four walls surrounding me, and makes my brain work a little bit differently. Lastly, hotel rooms feel comfortable and safe and somehow different and familiar at the same time, and I will stay in one every chance I get. It feels like the most special treat to have a La Quinta night.

But I don’t think I’m unique in feeling overwhelmed. Or feeling like I need to check out from everything for a day or two to recharge in my own energy, so that I can come home and handle the dishes or wrap Christmas presents. Hotel rooms give you permission to catch your breath, so you can hit the ground running the next day, and who doesn’t need that? Who doesn’t want to sleep in clean sheets in a freshly made bed that you didn’t have to make yourself? Who doesn’t just want to turn their phone off from time to time, watch hotel tv until you fall asleep and wake up fresh? My answer is everyone. As far as I’m concerned, everyone can benefit from a La Quinta night, and I’m always amazed to find out how few people treat themselves to one. Or maybe I’m just a weirdo with a loud brain that doesn’t like the sound of cabinets and am an introvert that talks all day and can only process so much before I have to hide from everything and needs more alone time than the majority of humans, (I need a lot, it is concerning at times,) or maybe I’m not that weird. I don’t know. Either way, if you haven’t had a La Quinta night, I urge you to try it. Even just once. Save it for a special occasion if you must, like right before a family vacation to get into a good headspace, or after you’ve had company and need to just be quiet, but just go. Get snuggled, get some food delivered, and watch yourself some Ridiculousness. You deserve it.