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I'm Done Waiting

I choose to be happy.

By S. FrazerPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
14

It’s been a rough few days.

Earlier this week, I was bouncing off the walls with laughter. But on Wednesday, my mental health took a sudden and unexpected veer into the ditch, and I've been bedbound for a solid 48 hours. Normally, I would take this opportunity to get some writing done. But my brain feels like scrambled eggs, and my mood is so low, I'm sure I could sink into the floor and never resurface.

With just six hours until the Create Your Happiness Challenge was scheduled to end, I was still unsure of what my approach to this prompt should be. It was too late to edit my existing crafting story; once again, procrastination has come around to bite me in the ass. I wanted my entry to be unique, but I was at a total loss as to how to go about it.

Curled up in a ball on my bed, I was just about ready to give up and sit this one out when I was reminded of a video I saw earlier this week.

This lovely singer is powering through cancer with the most positive and inspirational attitude I've ever seen. With the biggest smile on her face, Nightbirde said, "I have a two percent chance of survival, but two percent is not zero percent. Two percent is something, and I wish people knew how amazing it is."

I watch this beautiful woman with a terminal illness optimistically telling people that she’s okay, and I am completely humbled. One quote, in particular, stood out to me. She told judge Simon Cowell, "You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy."

She's right. I can't keep waiting for things to change. I have to create my own happiness.

And I'm going to do that through art.

So I picked myself up, sat myself down in front of my laptop, and started to think about all the art projects I've worked on recently. I made a fairy garden for one sister, a collage for another. My biggest project to date was the detailed miniature Hogwarts I constructed for my Harry Potter-obsessed sister.

After I finished the castle (three months past the Christmas due date, I might add), I was at a bit of a loss as to what to work on next. I took a break from crafting and threw myself into writing, my other choice form of creative expression. But I missed having something to do with my hands, and within a few weeks, I was on the hunt for my next big venture.

I eventually started a small, relatively cheap project: a block set of Taylor Swift album covers. Currently, Swift only has the rights to four of her albums (Lover, folklore, evermore, and Fearless (Taylor's Version), and she's in the process of re-recording five more.

Available on Amazon for $17.99

Unsure of how to maneuver the blocks so that they'd always form a complete, cohesive set, I started with the most obvious step: the four sides. I printed the album covers, carefully measured and cut them out, and used Mod Podge to seal them to the blocks.

But after just two days, this project was complete (at least, until Tay releases the album art for her next re-recording), so it was back to square one. I again began racking my brain for inspiration and kept coming back to the same thing: another miniature building. I had an unbelievable amount of fun planning and decorating tiny little rooms, especially when the theme was something I was so passionate about.

For my next big project, I think it would be fun to recreate the multi-colored house from Taylor Swift's "Lover" music video. (I'm on a slightly completely obsessive T-Swift kick at the moment.)

For this project, I'll need my trusty staples: Mod Podge, a ruler and pencil, a printer, and my large, zebra-print scissors.

I've already found my base.

Available at Michael's for $17.49

I'll plan it all out on paper beforehand, of course. Each room has a different theme and color scheme, furniture and layout. I'd like to go all out. It's been years since I sewed, and I'm itching to get back to the rows of fabric bolts at Jo-Ann's. I could make tiny curtains, rugs, and upholstered furniture. I could string lights throughout and turn it into a nightlight of sorts.

My crafts tend to be decorative in nature; there's not much practical use for a fairy garden, tiny Hogwarts, or set of blocks. Likewise, I'm not sure there's much you can do with a diorama of a Taylor Swift music video. Maybe this project could serve as a nice dollhouse for my little nieces in the future, just as I hope the blocks can one day make a nice puzzle for them to work on when they come visit.

But art doesn't have to serve some grand purpose. Crafting is just as much about the journey as it is the destination. The enjoyment I get out of creating something at all makes a project like this more than worth it. It's a rewarding experience to pour your heart and soul into something that, once it's done, you can step back and proudly claim as your own.

If I received funding for this project from the lovely Judges of this Challenge, I could afford the Fiskars scissors sharpener that I never knew I needed, these adorable woven labels to identify my work as homemade, and an apartment from which I could craft in peace, away from the hustle and bustle of my mom's house.

(And I could learn to embroider, which is on my list of goals for 2021.)

Mental illness has no quick fix. Some days are always going to be harder than others. But I'm done waiting for my life to be problem-free. I choose to create my happiness, one craft at a time.

I'd like to thank Lindsay Rae Brown, whose most recent piece made me cry with laughter and then cry with gratitude that she had given me something to so easily laugh about. Thank you for being such a bright, uplifting light in the Vocal community.

crafts
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About the Creator

S. Frazer

She/her • 29 • Aspiring writer

Email: [email protected]

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