How to Get Good at Living on Your Own

I moved out of my parents home at the age of 18 to leave for university. I lived in a small town and the prospect of moving to a big city was exciting. Like many others, I moved to university halls and had a close group of friends so I never truly felt lonely. It was only until my early twenties, after I graduated, did I start to feel those big city blues.

I’ve lived in London now for four years and I’m still very much in love with it. It’s an amazing place with some amazing people. However, when you can only afford a small room above a pub that has seen better days and you work all the time just to keep that room, it can get pretty hard.

When you live on your own everything is more expensive, it’s a fact of life. No one to split rent with or taxi fare, it means you start to count every penny. Some of the things you cut back on usually affect your social life like going out for dinner, drinks with friends, birthday parties, etc. When I started to have money problems I’d work most days and on my days off I’d spend alone in my apartment.

If, like me, you aren’t careful, this routine can slowly consume you and for the first time in my life, I really felt lonely. I was so wrapped up in the idea of being sensible and not to be wasteful I started to cut out all the things I enjoyed and by doing so the people I loved. I know I’m not the only one to do this. It’s a bit like the cliché first part of the movie where your early twenty-something is working an awful job as a waitress or in retail and is miserable, you know the bit before the movie gets good.

Living on my own was hard for me because I was left alone with my thoughts for so long that I felt I was the only one I could lean on. I struggled to tell my boyfriend or family that I was unhappy. I found out I needed to change the way I lived and the way I treated myself living on my own, here are the things I’ve learned.

Look after yourself.

It’s easy to get lost in your own head. Try and make time for yourself. Go see friends or invite them over more. It’s important to invite people into your space, it’s good for your mental health.

Good Routines

When you spend your time mostly alone you can get some pretty bad habits. No one else is going to do your laundry or wash last night's plates. Get into the routine of doing these things like clockwork, you’ll free up more time for yourself because it won’t hang over you. Plus, a clean living space can do wonders for your attitude and general outlook on things.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s pretty good to become self-sufficient and self-reliant, but it’s important to know when you can’t do things on your own. Keep in touch with your friends and family friends. They’ll know what to say when times get rough and they’ll look after you when you need it the most.

Create a nice environment.

I filled my room with plants and repainted my walls. It really helped breathe new life into my living space and helped me relax after a long day of work. While also providing a nice space for me to spend my spare time in, and helped me create somewhere I felt proud to invite people over.

There’s no real handbook in how to get good at living on your own, because in essence, it’s how to get good with living with yourself. Without this experience, I doubt I would have gotten to know myself as well as I have, or grown as much of a person as I have.