How To Create A Personal Uniform To Reclaim Your Mornings And Relax Your Weekends

For a long time, I’ve known I spend way too much time thinking about clothes and not in the fun dressing up to go out kind of way, either.

It’s the daily grind of finding something I don’t hate that makes me feel marginally good about myself — that dreaded morning routine of putting together two things that go together enough, so I don’t look like a toddler who’s been allowed to choose their own outfit.

For years it’s been a thorn in my side.

I feel like it’s just another thing women are required to be overly concerned with — an energy-draining expectation attached to boobs and vaginas.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a startling fact: Women spend, on average, six months of their adult lives just on deciding what to wear in the mornings.

Women spend about 17 minutes every morning deciding what to wear whereas men only spend about 13.

Not such a big deal? Maybe. But that works out to about four months over a man’s working life, so technically, men get a two-month life rebate just from getting dressed in the morning. If someone asked you to work an extra two months while a male co-worker was allowed to vacation for those same months for no reason, you’d probably be pissed.

So naturally, not too long ago, I finally snapped.

I became enraged enough by all the random clothes I had to finally do something about it. Many clashed, didn’t fit right, were too big, too small, etc. It was time to get proactive.

I decided to simplify my life and take back the four minutes owed to me by the establishment. Then, I’d carve out a few more, which I would use to fight the power.

I did this by completely reimagining my needs, eliminating expectations and judgment from the equation, and focusing only on self-care.

The culmination of this thought process was the creation of my “uniform.”

It consists of outfits to wear daily at my job, with the addition of a few other pieces to wear on the weekends and at other non-working events. I’m a home daycare provider, so I realize I have more wiggle room than most people. Still, I’m sure anyone can do this to suit their lifestyle and business if they really want to.

Does this sound bananas to you?

Does it seem like a nutty thing to do? Maybe, but did you know some of the most successful men in the world do just this. Know why? So they can free up their brainpower for things that really matter and make life generally simpler.

That’s why.

Here’s a list of some of the successful men — love ’em or hate ’em, they’re successful — who’ve adopted a uniform. Some of them might surprise you:

• Mark Zukerberg: Uniform: T-shirt and jeans. Why: To clear his life of excessive decisions so he can concentrate on work.
• Barack Obama: Uniform (while in office): Grey or navy suits. Why: To pare down decisions. He didn’t want to think about what he was eating or wearing because he had too many other things that needed his full attention.
• Giorgio Armani: Uniform: Navy slacks and cashmere sweaters (outside of red-carpet events).
• Michael Kors: Uniform: Black suit, black t-shirt, and black loafers.
• Riccardo Tisci (yes, another fashion designer, hmmm): Uniform: Black t-shirt, black pants, white sneakers.
• Tom Wolfe (journalist): Legend has it since 1962 he’s worn an all-white suit every day.
• Steve Jobs: Uniform: A black mock turtleneck. He had over one hundred of them.

This isn’t even a complete list.

Many articles out there highlight wardrobe simplicity for men, telling them why it’s a good idea. The women’s “simplicity” articles, however, seem centered around bone-thin models wearing what somebody imagines a simple outfit for a model who works in an office might be.

The advice for men is to make sure they’re not wasting their precious minds on trivial things like outfits. Dear God, what could be worse! Even fashion designers know this!

Because apparently, “decision fatigue” is a thing. Our ability to make consistently skillful, good decisions is limited, and decisions big and small deplete our resources. So the time you spend in the morning choosing your outfit is draining your daily allotment of decision-making energy.

Again, there are articles out there about easy work outfits for powerful women, but most involve things like stiletto heels with jeans for a “casual” look and skinny jeans with a t-shirt tucked in that look good on nearly no one except models. There are also many overtly “pretty,” girly clothes, hot pink, high-fashion things that look great on me — said no over 40 women ever (or hardly ever) — and yet, more stilettos. Apparently, you need boots you can’t walk in as well as shoes.

I’m not saying you can’t dress like that if you want. I know women who love the opportunity to dress up every morning and look spiffy for work. I know women who live for fashion and consider the time it takes to put together just the right look, time well spent. To them, I say, “Keep on, keeping on, my fashionista sister! If it feels good, do it!”

This may not be for them.

But many women do feel pressured to squeeze themselves into a mold that doesn’t feel right, to be competitive or respected in the workplace. They spend money and time trying to keep up with the Jones’s when it would be easier if work could just be about work like it is for men.

This lack of control and social pressure causes us to waste those 17 precious minutes every morning.

I look back and thank Christ for all the ugly waitressing uniforms I’ve had to wear in my life. At least in my past workplaces, stiletto’s would have been unthinkable. I looked like crap, but at least there was no point thinking about it.

When we all went into lockdown, one of the trending topics out there was being able to stay in your jammies all day, and I didn’t pick up on a lot of complaints. In fact, polls found that one-quarter to one-third of remote employees have stayed in their pj’s for work.

So there I was, about to lose my sh*t because I’m so sick of thinking about what to wear. My brain was breaking because there’s a lot more going on in there that’s more pressing, and I just want to feel good in my clothes.

Then I had a thought.

Why don’t I create a uniform for myself? Some-thing, or things, I can grab in the morning, I know will work, will fit right, be comfy and practical so I never have to figure out what to wear again.

There was a process I went through, and the result was astonishing — no more morning melt-downs, no more feeling dumpy or frumpy, no more going to bed thinking about what to wear tomorrow. Now, everything I wear in every circumstance fits me as I want it to, looks as good as possible, and gives me the opportunity to live my life unselfconsciously.

I’d say I’m pretty happy with the outcome, but that would be an understatement.

Here’s what I did:

Step 1: Take out everything you hate.

This is self-explanatory. If you hate it so much, you never wear it, but you’re holding onto it for unknown reasons, GET RID OF IT. Right now, that’s right, get up right now, put it in a bag, and donate it. Give it to a friend who would love it, a Facebook page, or a charity. If it’s expensive or designer, get it up on eBay or Facebook immediately, do not pass go, do NOT not do this!

Step 2: Take everything that doesn’t fit right, makes you feel fat, is a bad color for you, anything you sort of hate but might wear if you have to, and get rid of it.

Things you constantly try on and then take off but never actually wear — GONE!

If you feel like doing this will leave you with nothing, you need this more than you think. It’s better to have fewer things that are perfectly you than a bunch of random clothes you hate yourself in.

Step 3: Look through what’s left and set aside the things you love best, the things you feel great in, the first pieces you grab on laundry day.

Step 4: Assess all the “in-betweeners.”

Look at everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING. Look at outwear, underwear, sweaters, blazers, socks. If you wear it, you need to address it. If you wear it more than you don’t, there’s something of value there, and you should keep it. If you begrudgingly wear it only when you’re desperate, get rid of it.

Step 5: See what you have and ask yourself:

• Do I have enough items that I love and like to get through a week? Two weeks? Three weeks?
• What’s missing? Shirts, pants, etc.
• What color do I feel best in, love the most?
• What neutral do I love to wear?

What style are my clothes telling me I love to wear? What do I wear most? Do I have a type of cut or fabric, or brand that always looks good on me?

For example, I really love Reitman’s comfort fit pants. They don’t have a button or zipper, they have a flat elastic waist that sits just right on me. They’re comfy, look good, and no matter what, the right size and style in this type of pant will always look good on me.

So, give this step some thought. Making the most of the following two depends on it. Take time to think just about yourself and what you want because although it might seem trivial like you can blow this off and wing it. if you do, you’ll just end up where you started.

If you’re encountering resistance at this point, you might want to think about why that is. Does self-care make you uncomfortable? Do you have painful body issues that this highlights? Are you a packrat who needs to hold onto everything to feel safe? Even though this whole exercise might feel trite at first, I can assure you it’s not.

In any case, try to slow down enough to make your observations count.

Step 6: Make choices.

Go through your things, think about what you need to achieve the peace of mind you want, and go from there. The goal is to use your favorite things as a template for what you’ll buy to supplement and build your wardrobe.

For me this meant:

• Committing to solid colored pants, mainly black, grey, or blue/grey, and cozy sock monkey track pants and nothing else. I realized that I had a million pairs of patterned tights leftover from the “tights years” that I hated wearing now and clashed with half my shirts. I’m over tights at the moment because that’s all I wore for about three years. I haven’t thrown them out since I might eventually decide to have another tights phase. They’re not fired. They’re just on sabbatical for now. I don’t necessarily want to break up with them, but I definitely need a break and they’re not part of the uniform.
• The shirts of choice for my uniform would be black t-shirts and long sleeve t-shirts. I’ve always worn black, but this was a conscious decision to make that my main staple. I love black. I always feel excellent and powerful in it. It makes me feel edgy like I did when I played music, and it helps me feel like myself.
• My actual favorite clothes got set aside for my weekend wear. I realized I was wearing the same three or four shirts every weekend with the same tights. (I broke my rule and kept my favorite black and grey tights to wear with my weekend shirts). I have about four that I always wear, and since I spend my weekends writing or selling stuff on eBay, some weekends, the only outings I make are to the post office or thrift store. (I’ve been doing online grocery shopping, and my husband has taken on most of the shopping and cooking so I can pursue my passions.) So I don’t need much more of a wardrobe.
• Realizing I have more than enough footwear. Boots to wear with my tights, winter boots for snow, and some excellent slip-on shoes to wear with everything else were all I needed. I have a bit more, but that’s about it. So, when I’m out and see beautiful footwear tempting me from the shelves, I can resist because I’m happy with what I have. Now I find it satisfying to wear my clothes repeatedly and make really good use of them.
• Going through my underwear and socks getting rid of everything ratty and nasty, and guess what?! I had lots leftover. Job done.
• Utilizing the bunch of sweaters I bought last year, for loads of easy outfits that look different every day. I found one sweater in particular that I loved so much I bought two more and one in a different color. If I rotate the pants with the sweaters and keep the black shirts underneath, I look different every day, so my daycare parents won’t think I’m losing my marbles. But actually, I had a chat with most of them and told them that they might think I’m wearing the same thing repeatedly, but it’s just because I’ve created a work uniform. Shocker! Nobody cared — Or even noticed.

Step 7: Go shopping, but not the “Black Friday,” shop till you drop, kind of shopping, this is controlled consumerism with the intention of not having to do it again for a long time.

Only buy things that fit seamlessly into your plan.

For me, that meant:

• Investing in a boatload of black t-shirts and long-sleeved t-shirts from a local discount store. They were only about $8–$10 each, so I bought a bunch (probably at least 20, I’m working my way up to Jobbian quantities).
• I also bought fleece sweaters that button up with one big front button (I’m wearing it now!). They look like blazers. They fit well, hide my covid weight tummy, feel great, and are easy to take off (for those unexpected hot flashes that creep up now and again). They perfect! So naturally, I bought two the same and one that’s a different color.

You also have to decide what’s practical for you and what you can honestly tolerate.

• For example, I never buy anything I have to put on or take off over my head. That drives me nuts. My hair is really thin and full of static. Taking a sweater off over my head feels too cumbersome, so no matter how cute it is, I just know I’ll never wear it. No sweaters unless they open up all the way. It’s just something that bugs me, so now I avoid them instead of trying to convince myself that the cuteness of the sweater will outweigh my irritation. Spoiler: it never does.
• I also avoid boots that lace up. This is a throwback to when my daughter was a newborn, and I was so sick and exhausted that I realized that life is too short for avoidable tasks. Even now, they’re too much work regardless of how cute or practical they seem. I’d rather be able to slip something on and off. A few years ago, I got a great deal on $300 boots on sale after Christmas for $40, so I bought two pairs. But they were high cut with no side zipper and were a pain to put on and take off, so I never wore them out of the house. I sold them to a consignment store, but I should have taken that $80 and bought something I’d use or put it towards groceries or our daughter’s RESP.

But that’s the way it is with women and clothing. There’s always a shiny new penny to make you stop appreciating the one you already have in your pocket.

Once I realized that I wanted to get off the fashion treadmill, it was just a matter of taking the right steps.

Once I did that, everything became easier.

Now I know whatever I put on in the morning will work, and it’ll fit, feel great and give me a boost instead of depleting my energy reserves. I start my workday without contributing to decision fatigue which is good because when you’re managing five toddlers, you make micro-decisions by the thousands, and in my line of work, I have to be on my game.

So tomorrow morning, as you’re getting dressed for work, think about how the process makes you feel and how your clothes work as a unit. Are they great resources? Or a source of pain? Do they lift your spirit up or drag you down?

If you love your wardrobe, and it empowers you and makes you feel great, that’s amazing! You’re way ahead of the game. But who knows, streamlining things to make it even easier could still be beneficial.

If choosing your daily ensemble exhausts and depresses you, it might be time to create a uniform.

By following this process, you’ll be able to create a wardrobe that empowers you to get out of the house quickly with your self-esteem and decision-making faculties intact and ready to take on the day!

😊Thanks so much for reading!

Erin King is the author of How To Be Wise AF: A 30-day journalling adventure to your inner Guru.