How NOT to Shop Online

Let me tell you about the time, as a direct result of my lack of self-control with a debit card at approximately 4:07 a.m. EST on one fateful day last October, I had more in common with a can of half opened biscuits than I could have ever imagined.

A reformed social media early adopter, I now spend a lot less time on most platforms than I used to. There’s no moral reason for this other than, over time, I’ve realized I truly do prefer my life outside of my phone though Instagram is my guilty pleasure.

That’s why I still can’t believe I got, got, by a Facebook ad.

The ad was for a strapless bra, which most women will tell you are often the most disappointing item of clothing we own for a list of reasons I’ll spare you. Just know finding the right one is absolute gold, and staring at the hundreds of comments under the Facebook ad confirming owning this bra was hitting the Underwear Lotto, I ordered three.

Like a dummy. Except, I didn’t yet know just how headache inducing my decision was.

A little backstory when it comes to online retailers: I’ve briefly opened drop shipping stores in the past, and made a decent amount of sales at times, but ultimately let them fall to the wayside because I’m a creative at heart (I mean, hey, that’s why I’m here with this silly story right now). I let my excitement get in the way of recognizing the website I bought the bras from was a new, poorly put together drop shipping website. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean the all drop shipping sites are bad, or your experiences will be lackluster, but being green to this method of selling means a lot can go awry if you haven’t done your research.

So, how did I know this site was new? And how did I identify the owner as a (clueless, newbie) drop shipper? Glad you asked.

First, let me explain what drop shipping is if you aren’t familiar with it: it’s an awesome way for regular degular folks like you and I to begin an online business, but lacking in capital to have inventory in stock. What you do instead, is create a website in which customers instead order directly from your wholesaler or manufacturer, who then ships the item directly to your customer for you. Now, everybody’s happy and the customer is none the wiser.

Except, in my case, purchasing didn’t exactly pan out this way. I mean yeah, but no. When my order failed to be shipped within a week or so, I got curious. Nowadays, even small businesses I purchase from on Etsy send the goods within about a week, and may notify you if it may take longer. So, I looked up the website on the WHOIS database and, lo and behold, the website had only been operating for a few months. (The database, found at who.is, tracks the ownership and history of websites and can be a great tool for all sorts of things—including trying to figure out if you’ve been scammed and who’s doing the scamming.) Next, I visited Aliexpress.com, which is one of the world’s biggest sites for finding wholesale goods. Lo and behold, the bra was available for purchase on that site. Now, a quick tidbit about Aliexpress.com and its mama, Alibaba.com: the vast majority of businesses there are based in Asia. I’m from the Midwest. It takes a really, really long time to ship from Asia if a retailer uses the cheapest shipping method in order to keep costs under wraps. How long you ask? Months. Yes, months. Pandemic or not.

So, after a couple weeks of waiting for a shipping confirmation and tracking number, I emailed the company.

I was met with a surprisingly quick, apologetic response, stating the package will indeed get to me. I was also given a non-functioning tracking number. Oy. I asked why it wasn’t functioning and was told to give it some time to update, citing the pandemic.

Ugh.

A reasonable response, to a totally fishy situation. Weighing my options with the tons of rave reviews of the bra and happy montages of myself wearing strapless sundresses swirling around my head, I gave it time.

After nearly eight weeks of questions, apologetic responses and a tracking number that eventually did end up working—before pausing again—I received my order.

Opening the package, my excitement quickly turned into confusion, and then dismay. I held up one of the bras, and realized it was significantly smaller than any of the bras I owned. In fact, it easily rivaled the first one I ever wore as a quickly growing teenager years ago.

Then, I laughed. I put it on and laughed some more.

I had to stuff myself into the thing. This is the part where I could have legitimately used it as a half-opened can of biscuits Halloween costume. If pre-eruption Mount St. Helen’s was a person, she would have been me in that bra. Think severely shaken bottle of pop (or coke, or soda, for my readers in other parts of the country) on the verge of baptizing some unlucky thirsty person, and boom, you’ve got me in that exact moment. I was ready to explode, and I quickly took it off to avoid any embarrassing eye injuries. I don't have any photos to share, which probably would have been obscene anyway. I waited nearly two painstaking months for something that didn’t even remotely fit.

Equal parts amused and crushed, I immediately threw the bras away. With that doozy of an ordering process, I didn’t feel like bothering with exchanging it for anything else as I was already wearing their largest available size anyway.

Take this as a lesson on how not to buy items online. I’m someone who knew better, but still got carried away by reviews.

Here are some ways awry-proof your online purchases:

1.) Reviews, though helpful, can also be meaningless. Social media platforms regularly purge fake accounts, and some users even buy followers and fans. Always Google “[retailer name]+reviews” to be sure you’re getting the full picture.

2.) Go to Google and search “[website name]+who is”. This will bring up information about the website. Even if the site owner has hidden their personal information from view, as was the case for me, it’ll still tell you information like when it was initially registered. As a rule of thumb now, I refrain from ordering if the site is younger than a year.

3.) See if the items on the site are also on wholesale websites like Alibaba.com. If it is, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. However, it could mean slow shipping and even prices hiked way higher than you’d prefer if bought from a newer retailer without in-house inventory.

4.) Also if on a wholesale site, check to see their fit guide. Even though I ordered my usual size, the website I purchased from didn’t care to mention that they didn’t do any conversions to accommodate buying from an Asian retailer. Fit standards are different in Asia, so properly converting is important.

5.) Use Paypal when not purchasing from known retailers. This will make the need for possible refunds quicker or easier.

Now, this list isn’t exhaustive and there are still ways to fall into the same trap I did, but hopefully it helps you in your online shopping experiences.

Here's to continuing on that journey to finding the perfect strapless bra. Cheers.