Following My Inspiration.

I have been chasing my dreams and despair my whole life. The sad part I told myself I was pursuing my dreams because I wanted this dream job as a young man. My dad had other plans for me and made it clear I was not the material of champions. I was one of those kids that, even as a kid, hurt a lot. No one believed me. It was an excuse not to do anything.

I had been labeled sigh. When you live in a small town, it's easy to get a label, and when you do, you will face the consequences repeatedly. I decided I wasn't going to listen, and I didn't. I am glad I didn't. I learned when you do what other people do, you'll get what other people have, and I wanted nothing to do with that mess. So I went through the long process of educating myself, putting myself through college.

I moved away to Cincinnati, started working for a large bank, and hated it. It turned into lead shoes for me. I did learn a lot about leases, loans, and banking in general but after a while. I then decided to move on, mostly because I was so mind-numbed with boredom, my dad had passed away, and I just needed to be away from the world, to "Find myself," if you will.

Becoming the Commissioner of Deeds for the Common Wealth of Kentucky, I could then do home loan closings taking the National Notary test, and passing the first time.

I was proud of myself. I had professional insurance and was making excellent money. Then 2007, I started to notice my business started to drop off. My then-partner thought I was drinking too much. To be fair, I did too. I began to call the lenders to find out what was happening. They didn't know. I sat confused, waiting for the phone to ring. I started to see that I was falling into drinking more and more. My partner at the time was not happy with me.

Finally, we both had had, enough and we exploded, parting ways in the infamous gay fashion. the "Dramatic Exit." Police cars, jail reports, court dates, Uhauls, and two lawyers later, I move to Kentucky. I found myself in the mix of country people and the 2008 mortgage crisis. Thinking well, that answered that question. However, I was not going back. I'm stubborn; I've accepted my character flaw and embraced it. So I sat down and said, "I am moving forward, not backward."

I joined a recovery group online and started to find ways to help me get my life back on track. I heard some pretty profound speakers talk about recovery and getting their lives back on track. There were hundreds of people who passed through my recovery, and I am grateful for all of them. I heard one profound friend that said, "Oh, you need to try to work on the Arts side of life." I sat quietly for a moment. I did love art, I did love plays, and I am a ham. But it's a lot too late for me to make a sex symbol debut (As if that were on the table in the first place).

So I sat down and started to think in terms of my Art. I had drawn simple rabbits and animals since I was a child. I knew I was nowhere near good enough to be considered "Good" at it. But I had a lot of time on my hands, and I had a good solid reason to focus. Getting sober, having extra time, and filling your time with a good habit is a good idea. So I found any paper that was clean at first, and I drew. I was so ashamed at first my work was so horrible.

I would sit and look at my work carefully and figure out the difference between my work and the actual person. I drew for hours at a time. My family and friends were happy I was becoming more comfortable and healthier. I was getting sober post notes strewn all over the place with AA slogans every and artwork laying on my table. I sat for hours every day, day in and day out.

I started to notice that when I asked people, "What do you see that needs to be fixed." Instantly they fell quiet. I'm sure high school horror stories flooded their minds, and immediately "Oh no, you don't" was their following words. So, I put my work side by side. There was a difference; I could see more things to fix. Then I noticed that if I took pictures of my work and compared it side by side on the computer, I could see even more to improve.

I made that process my everyday go-to habit, and it became a hit; thousands of people came to me, even famous people, and they are still with me. I sat through deep snowstorms and tormentous heat doing artworks for free and even sending them to people at no cost. So I could learn and become a truly great artist.

I drew and painted as often as I could. I wrote every day, trying to note as much as I could later. I read back to myself some of my writings, and I was horrified. "I wrote that?" Then shocked and grateful, I didn't try to post that somewhere. It wasn't terrific, as if all I knew about the English language was gone. I sat down and said, "This is unacceptable. I have three college degrees!" So I started to read again, refreshing my memory.

I struggled to get back to just normal function for at least three years and to bring my artwork up to a decent level even longer. Now I work to generate an interactive audience and make my music keep me focused on my drawing, painting, and writing. I still have thousands, but they don't talk. They've become numb to my posts and sometimes rants. I noticed the challenge says, "Tell us why we should support your passion." I fall short on words. Simply every person's dreams are worthy of investment. It's a matter of where are they in the creation phase? Some are so simple it's a matter of drawing an eye on your hand, making a TikTok that goes viral others, however complicated as making a disc that floats by being cold.

Mine, however, is Art drawing faces the traditional way the hard way that takes long hours that can't be done with an app, taking a picture of yourself and dropping it off into a program to be over-processed and then spit out looking like a Disney character. No, mine is far more complicated and follows traditional labor. My writing is the same. Each sentence requires thought, experience, time to mull over the paragraph, and then the courage to post it.

I love the process of creating the face from scratch, feeling the inspiration, the closeness of the beauty of the subject, then throwing myself into each line or brushstroke to make it come to life. However, to get to where I truly want to be, means I have to have licenses and state approvals. That all cost a lot of money that I do not have at the moment.

I would love to be the first one from this area to pull myself up by using my "Gifts." Being the example is far more effective than just telling everyone this is what you do.

I would appreciate you choosing me, and I will use the money to better my circumstances that will help my Art, music, or writing. Thank you for your time and attention. I hope you enjoy my artwork.