5 Ways Texting Can Help You Become a More Confident Communicator

At times it can be tough having conversations with family members, especially if your communication skills are not very strong, to begin with, and the topic is uncomfortable to talk about. In my experiences, I was so afraid to express myself due to the fear of a possible negative reaction that I wouldn’t say anything about the issue at all. However, texting has really helped me to learn how to express my feelings and helped me build my confidence in articulating my thoughts and face hard responses.

Here are 5 ways that I believe texting can help you become a more confident communicator:

1. You can say the things in texts that are difficult to say in person.

As I mentioned earlier, it was really difficult for me to engage in tough conversations without fear of a bad reaction or hurting someone’s feelings. One example was a really difficult conversation I had with my mom recently. She was upset with me for a reason I didn't think she should've been upset about and at the time I didn’t know she was upset until I hadn’t heard from her in a few days. I texted her to see how she was doing and her responses were unusually short and dry. We texted back and forth a few times and then she made a pretty harsh comment about me and I shared with her how I felt about what she said. I don’t think she was feeling my response because she didn’t text me back for the rest of the day, but being able to express myself was relieving. That was the first time I was really able to tell my mom how I felt, for real. I was very respectful, however, I was able to get out what I needed to say.

2. Unlike face to face conversations, you can edit your responses before you hit send.

Provided you are good at not hitting the send button by accident (lol), if your response reads harsher than it sounded in your head, you can edit it or delete it altogether. If you think you may hit the send button by accident, type the message in a notes app first, then copy and paste it into the text message window.

This is a big one...

3. Both parties can communicate without being interrupted by the other.

No one likes to be interrupted when they are trying to express themselves. Texting is a good way to get your point across without being cut off. Both you and the other person can even type at the same time, avoiding a potential argument because the other person keeps interrupting.

4. You can go back and read texts and reflect on the conversation.

This is a way to learn from any mistakes so we can be better communicators. Maybe there are some things that you said in your texts that you thought was the right thing to say at the moment, but looking at it later, you realize that you shouldn’t have been said it, or maybe the text can be a reminder of the person’s true intentions towards you.

5. It’s a great digital paper trail.

To piggyback off of number four, sometimes a person will say something that’s harsh and then have “amnesia” later down the line as if you’re the one that’s crazy. With texts, you have proof of conversations versus when you talk in person and time passes, words get mixed, changed, and even taken out when revisited. With a text, all you have to do is scroll or search for keywords in your text browser window.

One Setback...

I have discovered at least one setback to texting and that is we can’t control how people perceive what we write. There’s more than one way to receive a message. I believe the spirit in which it comes from the sender and the spirit in which it is received by the person reading it kind of lets you know where the conversation it’s headed; so use your best judgment when deciding on which conversations are better texted and which ones need to be face to face.

One exception...

There’s also one exception I discovered and that is elderly family members may not be willing to learn how to text. I make exceptions for my elder family members, which I really don’t mind because they’re not on the same wave as some of my other family members. My great aunt, 89, and grandma, 92, really just want to know how the kids and I are doing and not so much about how much I’ve accomplished in life so far or any other type of measurement of success.

In conclusion, texting shouldn’t be your only means of communicating, especially with family. This is just a tool to help you learn to communicate more confidently so when you do have those tough face to face conversations, you can handle it because you’ve been practicing.

I hope this helps you in some way to become more confident at respectfully communicating how you feel and as a result, creating pivotal moments in your life and relationships. 😃🙏🏼