Why Haven't I Been Writing?

Why haven't I written anything here in over a month?

The simple answer: writer's block has been terrible for me.

The complex answer: my life has felt like a living hell lately. I have been everywhere mentally. I have been hypomanic two times and depressed the rest of the time. Most nights, I have been lying in bed crying for nothing, struggling to not self-harm, as I have become addicted to it over the last nine or so years. When I have energy, I don't want to write. When I want to write, I don't have any energy to do so. I have still done some journaling for myself, personally. It helps my anxiety and sometimes my depression just to get my feelings off my chest.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What has been going on in the last month?

I had my break from school and work, since I work at a local college. I have, like I said, been depressed and hypomanic. Hypomania sounds good from the outside looking in, and sometimes during it, but I did some kind of dangerous (but not illegal) stuff. Looking back, I regret it all though.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What's coming up and just starting in life?

Well, I am working part time, writing occasionally, and doing school part time. However, I want to write so much more than I have been. (Sorry to everyone who has missed my writing, poetry in particular.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What am I studying?

I am going for a medical office assistant certification. I know you may be asking what that is. It is basically a receptionist in a doctor's office or hospital setting.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What do I do for work?

I don't really have a job title, but I basically prepare sandwiches, salads, and other pre-made food for the students at the local college, which I am uncomfortable naming, for now anyways.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Though it is not required, tips and/or pledges are much appreciated, as college is expensive, and I do not earn a lot at my job. This is not meant to be a sob story, just me being honest about my struggling lately. Thank you all for reading.