We Are Family...

Introduction

Okay, as a management professor and consultant, there will ALWAYS be catchphrases that are not just warning signs, but the linguistic equivalent of nails on a chalkboard! There will ALWAYS be slogans and expressions that management will see one way, but quite often, the rank and file worker will perceive - if not coming across as disingenuous by management - as at the very least out of touch and out of step with the proverbial “conditions on the ground.” So very, VERY often, what sounds good in a conference room - or the board room - gets very much lost in translation when those at the “tip of the spear” hear the latest, greatest missive and/or initiative from the higher-ups.

And so I recently read an article with the title, “8 Incredibly Common Phrases That Promote Toxic Positivity in Schools,” on a website, We Are Teachers, that, yes, ACTUALLY provides insights and info to teachers - with everything from ideas for the classroom to worksheets for teachers to use with their students. Guess what catchphrase was number one - far and away - on the annoyance chart for K-12 teachers? Now, speaking as one who teaches in college for a living, primary and secondary school teachers have been a group under extreme pressure for some time. While things may have worsened for them both during and after the pandemic, no profession has seen such an outflow of workers - or been challenged more to draw in new recruits - than has teaching in America. Teachers are simply giving up, pressured by never-ending bureaucratic demands, increased problems with parents and the community, and oh yeah, the challenge of dealing with today’s youth. Think you have a tough sell? Try being a college of education trying to recruit new majors in education fields and/or a school district or private school trying to recruit new teachers. While the salaries being offered to teachers continues to move upward, the interest in pursuing a career in education is moving downward. And in the long-term, this is going to cause a crisis in our nation’s primary and secondary schools that will be difficult to address and to unwind.

“We Are Family”

But yet, for current teachers, the most annoying administrative catchphrase of all today is 3 simple, yet very complex, words: “We Are Family!” This was the title of the pop song that became an anthem performed by Sister Sledge waaaaaaaay back in 1979:

And in that same year, the song became immortalized in sports history by becoming the theme song driving an unlikely run by the Pittsburgh Pirates to win the World Series:

Now ever since then, more than 40 years ago, we have seen the Sister Sledge classic song - and even more frequently, its title - become a catchphrase that management in for profit companies and administrators in nonprofits and government agencies turn to as a way of expressing that for employees, they should view their jobs as more than their jobs. Leaders hope - perhaps based in reality… but more often today based on their own aspirations - that employees will perceive themselves as being an integral part of something bigger than themselves.

Granted, from the view from the executive suite, the belief that everything is rosy and that employees love their organization and their role within it is very understandable. Yep, the perks and benefits that come from being a top - or even mid-level leader in most organizations are pretty damn good in most cases these days. And while it may seem perfectly acceptable and perfectly logical for a top manager - or a school superintendent, or a healthcare administrator, or a non-profit head - to just have “we are family” easily roll off their tongue or out into an email or memo, they often do not - and cannot - perceive how opposite the case might be on the ground by the front-line employees in their organization.

And yet, what management perceives and what employees feel on a daily basis may be exactly opposite - especially today. “Family?” What about when organizations put more and more demands on front-line employees? What about when workers' hours are cut? What about when employees work for wages that do not enable them to live in a decent way and provide for their families without taking on another job and/or a “side hustle?” What about when workers dread opening their emails, fearful that they will be asked once again to “do even more with less” - less help, less resources, less pay, but with more responsibility and more stress.

Analysis

Now, as a management consultant, do I have any easy answer to all of this? The answer is clearly no. Organizational culture is important, and you want employees to be committed to your organization, what it does, who it serves, and what it stands for. That is a fundamental job of management today. And yet, we are in an environment where one, as a cog in the machine - and a small one at that, can easily feel disconnected from the whole - not part of a “family,” it is incumbent upon all managers to really, REALLY think about the language they use. By trying to be “to cute by half,” whether one refers to your employees as associates, teammates, or yes, even family members, you risk - YOU REALLY RISK - alienating your workforce and stifling ALL your efforts aimed at improving performance, increasing productivity, and raising retention. In short, your language DOES MATTER!

So, in a nutshell, unless you are a business that only employs family members, let’s banish the phrase “WE ARE FAMILY!” Gone - and it should be! Work is - fundamentally - an exchange. Workers provide their labor, their time, their effort, and their energy, in exchange for a paycheck (or a direct deposit these days). Everybody knows a family member who is working 2 or even 3 jobs just to get by and pay the bills. Everybody knows someone who is simply stressed out from their work demands. And yes, everybody has their own, unique perspective - their own unique calculus - as to what they put into a job versus what they get from it. And more often than not, this is a negative ratio. No matter how many management initiatives, and/or speeches, and/or messages, etc. there might be, all too many workers at lower-level positions in any organization perceive their managers as offering only platitudes, NOT solutions.

What then is a leader or even a mid-level manager to do then in 2023 or 2024? What I would strongly advise is this: Meet your employees where they are, NOT where you want them to be! The old, outdated, almost romantic notions of “organizational culture” and “employee engagement” are gone today: Dead, buried, gone! Thus, it is incumbent on leaders, at all levels in organizations, to speak with clarity, and with REAL empathy, directly to their employees today. Meet them where they are at - or not at all! The reality is stark: Either you speak with REAL empathy and understanding with your employees, or you are at EXTREME risk - dare I say almost a certainty - as looking like and sounding like (and thus, in reality, being) an out-of-touch manager.

As we stand here today, in the (almost) post-COVID environment, in an age where paycheck protection is only as good seemingly to most of us as our latest paycheck, and where every organization - from Fortune 500 companies to the smallest enterprises to even government agencies and nonprofits - seems to have management that it focused on the single bottom-line, no matter how loud or how frequent the talk about multiple bottom lines may be, every leader in a position of responsibility - from front-line supervisors to CEOs and yes, superintendents and agency heads, need to be forcibly sat down for a reality check. The reality is simple: Employees are scared. Employees are not perceiving you as trustworthy. Employees are increasingly concerned with their personal bottom lines - not yours! In short, employees are less receptive to the “We Are Family (or Associates, or Team Members, etc.) messages)” than ever. And in place of the “we’re all in this together” mentality that may have been true 10-20 years ago, employees are looking ever more closely at “what have you done for me lately,” and yes, “what can you do for me in the future (and not looking at a decade down the line, but merely a matter of months or a year!”

And so it’s easy to say that top, middle and front-line managers should have empathy with those on the frontlines. But today, this is not merely advice, it is essential! You have to have a connection with everyone that is at the “tip of the spear” in dealing with your customers, your clients, your students, your citizens, etc. The simple reality is this:THEY are the reason that you thrive, NOT you! Once you face this reality, the job of managing ANY organization - regardless of size, scope, type or size - becomes much more clear. Your job as a manager, as an administrator, as a supervisor, etc. of anything, anywhere is to add value. Your job is simple: It is to enable - TRULY enable - your employees to do more (and yes, often with less and with more stress).

So, after reading this article, if you are a person in charge of 1, 2, 3…500 or even 5000 people anywhere, the question that you should be - you must be asking yourself is this: What can I do to enable - NOT make - my employees feel a part of the whole. What can I do to not just use the easy, throwaway line that “We Are Family,” but to create a true, felt sense of family among most - if not everyone - in the organization? THAT is the challenge of our times for ANYONE in management, public sector leadership, nonprofit and/or educational superintendence today! HOW you respond to this immense - and yes, daunting - challenge will go a long way in determining just how much you will achieve and how far you can go as a leader of men and women today. In short, follow this advice to success….or ignore it to your peril!

About David Wyld

David Wyld is a Professor of Strategic Management at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, Louisiana. He is a management consultant, researcher/writer, publisher, executive educator, and experienced expert witness. You can view all of his work at https://authory.com/DavidWyld. You can subscribe to his Medium article feed at: https://davidwyld.medium.com/subscribe.

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