Valued customer, no offense but...

Dear Valued Customer,

I'm really just interested in taking your money. That's really all I care about. You can tell that by the way I started off this letter. I can easily look up your name, or use an automated program to customize this letter with your name.... but to be blunt, I don't care to put in that much effort.

No offense, but I don't care to write this letter. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that have told me this is a Necessary Update and so I must Put Something Together so that you don't take your money elsewhere. Oh I would certainly not like that, Valued Customer, because you bring me -- er, the company -- revenue. I like money. It lets me buy things.

So if you could, after you finish reading this ramble of a letter, send me more money I would greatly value you more.

Here is some stuff my underlings think would interest you, or that the lawyer said I needed to let you know.

Don't forget we are open for business and we offer special discounts and sales often! Just saying, check out our website for more details or call the customer service line and we will be more than happy to guide you through a purchase.

Thank you for being a valued customer!

Sincerely,

Management

I don't check my email anymore, just scan the subject lines and see who sent the email. Except, for some reason, that one.

I don't recall the letter verbatim but tried to write it as best I could from memory... It's still on my mind today, just frustrating to think about.

Maybe I'm hyper-tuned to semantics and words people use to communicate, maybe I'm just cranky after 13 full months into this pandemic with no end in sight. But the letter failed in its entire purpose, and in fact did the opposite of its intention: I'm very hesitant to turn to the company in the future.

This is, sadly, common in corporate communications. And it's not only business-to-consumer interactions, it can also be employer-employee engagement.

Here's some better phrasing:

• Instead of "valued" -- use "dedicated" or "loyal".
• Instead of "customer" -- use "member"
• Instead of "valued staff" -- use "____ Team" or "____ Family"
• Or just simply start off with the recipient's name.

America has, for generations, been a transactional society -- but that is changing with Xennials and younger generations.

America is, for 40-and-youngers, an experiential society.

What does that mean?

Transactional is based on monetary value: "I'll pay $5 for this product/service". Experiential is based on the value of an experience. Experiential transactions aren't as focused on the monetary cost of the product/service, the customer is more concerned with the transaction meeting their expectations.

Experiential transactions are valued significantly higher than other transactions, because the experiences feel customized to the patron.

• People are members, not customers.
• Coworkers are teammates/family, not staff.

You'll earn a lot more money and loyalty through an experiential based business instead of a transactional based business. (This is one of the reasons why Starbucks can charge $5+ for a cup of coffee... go check out the book The Starbucks Experience for more on their success.)

I guess my overall point in this is that you should always take a moment before you send an email or post something online... ask yourself, Do you care what other people think when they read this? And if so, How will other people receive this info, will they feel appreciated or alienated?

When I get an email, whether it's as a customer or an employee, I'll feel unimportant once I read things like "valued ___" because the message comes across as fake. "Valued customer" translates to "all you care about is my money" and "valued staff" comes across as "I am a pawn or a peg, not a person"... and it's a sign that I should start looking elsewhere to places that I am valued -- where they don't need to remind me that I'm valued.

I really don't know why the email bothered me this much... but I'm going to take my money and time elsewhere now. Just saying.