Toxic coworkers: how to spot them and keep them out of your life
Check yourself and your surroundings.
First, you need to answer the question who are toxic people. A toxic person can be compared to a toxic substance: they cannot be approached, and if we do this, then we must have protective equipment.
How to recognize toxicity in an employee, and in the future to protect the interests of the company from such a person? A psychologist and teacher at the Faculty of Pedagogy and Psychology at the Synergy University, speaks.
Psychologist, lecturer at the Faculty of Pedagogy and Psychology, Synergy University, professional astrologer.
Recognizing a toxic person is not always possible the first time. Sometimes you justify your unfriendly attitude towards him by your own bad mood. So you succumb to the influence of a toxic person. Finding the line between the behavior of a toxic person and a healthy person is not easy, since they are skillful manipulators.
When you first meet, toxic people are friendly and welcoming. That is, it will take time to recognize a toxic person or employee. It is known that it takes an average of 20 days to adapt to a new place of work in a new team. The full adaptation period is 60 days. A toxic employee will manifest itself in just 20 days.
Signs of a toxic employee
1.A toxic person is a genius manipulator and one who does not take responsibility. He will always blame the tram, traffic jams, weather conditions or other people for being late for work. At the same time, he acts unconsciously, and models of such behavior are formed in childhood. The main goal of any toxic behavior is to unconsciously influence the emotions of others and get what you want.
2.The main symptom of a toxic person is shifting responsibility onto someone else. He certainly has his own problems, worries and worries, but it is much easier for him to pass it on to other people. In this case, the person himself is in a state of sacrifice.
3.Emotional immaturity, lack of empathy, and selfishness are important signs. In addition, negative and negative thinking is manifested in the actions of such a person. He will think with convictions “you won't succeed”, “don't believe him”, and then he will express this, for example, to his colleague.
4.A person with a toxic mindset begins to weave intrigues. At the same time, such people are open and friendly, but they use this to find out information, so that later it can be turned into a kind of conflict.
5.A person with signs of toxicity is always right, everything is always bad for him, he takes offense and offends others, dramatizes. At the same time, such people like to suddenly manifest themselves, taking up the time of others. They constantly condemn the environment, love to manipulate, posing as a victim, this is their version of life.
6.Toxic people are always absorbed in taking care of themselves and their condition. They are not at all interested in listening to the interlocutor, and each time they try to interrupt you in order to start a conversation about themselves.
What to do in a situation if you are faced with a toxic person?
It is necessary to disaccustom such colleagues to climb into your life. Changing them or reaching out is a fantasy option, because toxic people enjoy negative influences.
The first way out is to avoid any contact. They need your attention, they are ready to attract it in any way. If you do not respond to the poisonous comments of annoying colleagues and remain indifferent, they will quickly lose interest in you.
The second way out is to answer correctly. This does not mean that you need to enter into an argument with a toxic colleague, it is enough to outline your personal boundaries. It is important to do this confidently, calmly and kindly. Then he will not be able to rise at your expense and will stop pestering you.
And if you realized that you yourself are?
First, we must understand the problem, and also understand that all people are different, and a person can become toxic for different reasons. You need to figure out where this behavior came from.
Firstly , it may be due to heredity, that is, the scenario comes from the family. It is necessary to work with this problem even in childhood or already when the adult person realizes the situation herself. In the latter case, a psychoanalyst will help.
The second factor may be childhood health problems, birth trauma, or intrauterine growth disorders. That is, it is a kind of psychopathy or the result of defective development of the central nervous system.
The third factor is the problem of education. For example, oppressive parents traumatized the child's psyche, thereby he adopted this model of behavior and introduced it into his life. As an adult, he applies this model to other people and behaves with them in the same way as his parents once did to him. A person should realize his problem and, if possible, seek help from a psychologist.
And sometimes people take this tactic of behavior for self-satisfaction - it is easier for them to lead people. This does not always require professional intervention from a specialist. After the stage of awareness and understanding of the problem and its causes, it is necessary to begin to build relationships with all people, as with equal individuals