To You, My Ex-employer

Thank you, old friend. Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for making me realise how much better off I'd be without you. Because, truthfully, I've never been happier now as I look back at our time together with nothing but happiness. Happiness in the shape of being set free to do as I please at last. And it's because of you, that I was reborn and given a second shot at freedom. So, to you, my ex-employer...thank you.

We had some times, didn't we? Times like where you'd give me four times more work than anybody else. Times where I'd have to stay late because your deadline wouldn't be met otherwise. Times where I'd be handed other roles to juggle without being paid for them. Times — so many times together. It's these times that forged a rather one-sided relationship for eight long years, eh?

The day I spoke the truth was the last time we'd talk. The day I spilt the darkness behind the wall of lies was the day you decided it was too much. And that was the very day I was finally set free. And, funnily enough, the day that made me realise how lucky I really was.

You knew I was tired. You knew there were problems. You knew I wasn't paid appropriately for the work I put in. You knew the remedy but refused to acknowledge the thought of handing it over. Instead, you swept away the problem. You removed me. But, by doing so, you gave me a new light and reason to start from scratch.

The moment I left for the final time was one I'll always remember. Because, strangely enough, I never once shed a tear or begged for a second chance. Instead, I smiled like I had just won the lottery. Even with the box of desk contents in my arms and a dozen people watching me make the shameful walk across the car park. Even that didn't phase me in comparison to the happiness coursing within me.

When I left the gates after eight years of making it a second home, I was happy. When I drove all the way home and hugged my wife and kids — I was happy. I was happy — because I was out. I was untied and set free from the burden of trying to gain recognition for almost a decade. I was no longer tasked with more than I could handle. I no longer felt the pressure of reaching your daily targets. I had nothing else to prove to you. I was gone.

My wife, who I hadn't seen nearly as much as the people I slaved away every day with — she was happy. As were my little ones. They were happy because I was home at last and ready to craft a future where I was no longer cut out of the picture. Instead, my time could finally be devoted to the many hours I had lost with my family. They're the ones who truly mattered in that moment. Not your deadlines. Not your unrealistic and unfair working patterns.

Sure, so money was tight for a while. But we were happy because we were together through it all. We worked it out over time and things started to piece back together again. I was watching my kids grow and reach milestones I would've missed when slaving in an expendable role. I was present and living not as a drone, but as a husband and loving father. That was all that mattered above all else.

I had time. I had a family. I had a future where anything was possible and at my own making. I had a reason to smile each morning when I awoke to my family instead of a computer screen. I had everything I needed right there in the palm of my hand. And, without letting me go — I never would've seen that.

I thought I was supposed to slave with you for all eternity. I thought I was supposed to climb a ladder and become a senseless puppet which only you controlled the strings of. But, I was wrong. I wasn't supposed to die with you. I was supposed to be elsewhere searching for a new passion. I was supposed to be building a future from the foundation you deprived me of for eight years.

I wanted to write. And you bet I did once I left that office. I picked up several courses and jobs writing for magazines. I threw myself into the things that made me happy. I started doing photography as a side-project. I finished writing my fourth novel after remaining idle for a year. I spent time with my family and watched us grow together as a team. There were no more struggles of splitting my time between personal and work life. It was all personal from that day onwards. It was my time to with as I pleased.

So, what I'm really trying to say is — thank you. Every day I am happy, because of the actions you took last year. Every day I smile because I know I'm no longer near you or the things that brought me down for so long. And now, I only look forward to the future as my dreams become reality. I'm clear, and I'm free. Without you, I wouldn't of realised that happiness comes from the ones around you at home — not the money in your pocket or approval from carless line-managers. And, that time is shorter than we'd ever like to believe. It's because of that, that I will never make the same mistake again. I will live today as if it could be my last. And I will do it with my family by my side.

Thank you, for opening my eyes.

#DayFifteen #VocalChallenge2020 #Journal