Times up, what are we waiting for?

I am inhaling a deep breathe of air right now as I self sooth my anxiety. Life is so whirling, does that even make sense? We have all this life in front of us, and yet do we? Time is definitely an illusion if you ask my opinion however something on the surface of my subconscious tells me otherwise. That time is real and in fact it's running out quicker than we could even imagine. How sad is this idea that we have all the time in the world, and yet none at all? What do we do with it all? Create a facade until our show is out? Hmm. I don't like this. I drown myself in the social media world just to find myself empty. Watching the world from my personal perspective I see so many people running around, wandering in between two worlds and no one can even figure out which they want to belong to.

I've been on this journey for a while now, this odd journey called "I did not consent to this but fuck it I am here so we will have to suffer." I am trying to change the way I look at things and instead of suffering I am allowing myself to be a person. There are some of us who walk around confused as to how the world can be so perfectly chaotic and everyone seems to go unaware. Mindlessly roaming, stuck in chaotic behavior patterns wondering why nothing seems to be changing.

For as long as I can remember I have always been an observer, I find people fascinating as well as extremely terrifying. We withhold so much potential and yet lack the want for what we are truly capable of becoming. I see it so often where someone could quiet literally create their life to be exactly what they want, and instead they throw it away. Running in circles of everything they are used to because they lack the want to better themselves. We need people who want better for our future. We need people to be concerned with where our world is headed. I know time and life here doesn't always make any sense. I know that for a lot of us we wonder why any of this even exists. I'm not saying that we all need to be some sort of profound figure in society. I just wonder when we're all going to wake up and realize we aren't living for ourselves anymore. We are living for others to judge and comment about. Without realizing how it effects our mental health.

I've done a lot of cleansing in my life over the last couple of months. I am trying to find my own purpose again. I don't want to keep living in other peoples worlds just to become a ghost. It's left me feeling depleted and hallow. Lost and yet still understanding of who I am is so confusing. I've learned that people don't like it when you actually like yourself. Social media has created these portals into peoples world and while we see self love, healing and growth.. I can't help to see those who are self loathing, consumed by their toxicity and they don't mind sharing it with others. We are drowning in an artificial world. Desperately trying to feel the void we are all collectively experiencing in this new world we live in. Has the pandemic truly taken our sense of living away? I love social media, it has potential..just as we all do. I just fear, that we're all trapped in a world that is so far from real anymore.

I hope you enjoy my dump of thoughts, feel free to share your own with me if you feel! If you really enjoyed this, a like, share and even tip would be so very appreciated!