The split personality of a key worker

I have written a few things around this subject as its what's on every bodies mind at present. Also though I am a key worker, promoted from low paid nobody to apprentice superhero in recent weeks. I am still low paid though I hope a positive to come from all this is how important some groups can be. I am reasonably well qualified with in the care sector but at present I am barely above minimum wage. The care industry as a whole is notoriously badly paid. I have said many times its a vocation and not a regular job, you need to want to do it as you wont get rich.

Although my present job is far calmer over the years I have witnessed and been involved in many things that would scar most people. I have witnessed death and cleaned people up after they have passed, cleaned more people then I can remember who have been incontinent, seen families ripped apart by Alzheimer's, been bitten and kicked and much more. I keep going because I usually enjoyed the job and i know I am good at it.

This I did for generally poor pay apart from a brief stint as a senior carer. Yet know with the virus I am one of the hero's. Barring doctors and bosses nearly all the heroes are low paid staff. All putting our lives and those of our families lives at risk. In my work place the only staff not carrying on working are those the government have decided are at high risk and so must isolate.

I would imagine in many other parts of the care system this will be the same or at least very similar. I go in knowing that staff have arrived from far and wide to work with different residents. So all are mixed unless someone shows symptoms. At home I would be reasonably safe with my fiancé, in work I help look after 15 people with around 25 staff. The chances of infection are of course high. We in reality do what we should normally do just more. We clean ourselves before and after working with someone, clean where we work and follow rules and procedures.

We have most of the equipment we need at present and if anyone was diagnosed as having the virus hopefully they would be taken to hospital. If some one is diagnosed with a minor case or if infection is consider a possibility we have to carry on caring for them. We take all precautions but we can never know for sure, especially as people can carry the virus without becoming infected themselves.

The above is my work face, home is different . I cant tell my fiancé or family that I have times when I am scared to go to work. I know the chances of catching it with so few people about are low but my job makes my risk higher. I tell everyone I have enough training and protective equipment. I tell them I always take care while working but I know if I make one mistake or forget something it can make me ill.

We are isolating at home and only shop occasionally and exercise. I walk to and from work and try and avoid others as best as I can. My parents are in the high risk category for age and my future father in law is in it for age and health. I also have been asked to stay home as much as I can for work safety, so its less likely I would take the virus in to work. So I have the worry of that as well, could I kill a client or make them seriously ill.

At the end of it I will still go to work. Either until this finishes or until I get ill myself. I know the risks I am running, I have worked with people that have serious health problems and occasionally contagious conditions. The people I support are all vulnerable and need full support so I will keep doing it. All the time I have to stay calm for them as many don't understand what's happening or why they cant go out. So when they gat agitated or angry I need both faces. Inside I am wary of contact and them spitting or coughing, outside I am using my at home face saying it will be ok and over soon.