The Grave Setup.

My entire work career I had always been in the food industry. If you have ever worked in the food industry you are well aware of the laid back environment. It is entirely different from any other work environment. The personalities are more adaptive, and the rule's aren't so black and white. When you're a server/bartender you become everybody's therapist, friend, confidant, and in general somebody they can rely on. The regular guests begin to know your work schedule better than you do, because they look forward to that third party ear.

Life was about to take a drastic turn. I developed a drinking problem. I knew if I continued working in the food industry, my life would continue to spiral down. My soul had been absorbed into the lifestyle. I can give the best advice to any other person, but I kept ignoring my own personal life. Suppose I thought it would magically fix itself, and I was covering the issues with helping others. After my shifts I would stay and drink daily. Whiskey became the only constant I had in my life, and I had no intention in leaving my comfort zone.

Drinking helped me escape the trauma of the past, and temporarily my severe social anxiety would subside. The prison i built inside of my mind is the most complex puzzle, and I love puzzles. Never had I felt good enough to even express my interests, and actually become close with anyone. So afraid that my peers would feel I am unworthy. Certainly could never do the right thing according to the people I had been looking up to since infancy.

However, when I had a few drinks in me I felt worthy of my desires. My upbringing I was not allowed to feel emotion because it was weakness. I began to make friends when I drank because I wasn't afraid. Still being shy and timid in order to maintain these friendships I had to continue to drink. Whiskey became my right hand man. As I lost myself further into the bottle it became clear to everyone around me that my personal life was being neglected.

At this point I thought life couldn't get any worse. Nothing I have ever done was enough to get the approval of my loved ones. I had gone above and beyond normal accomplishments in the past just hoping to make them proud.

My lifestyle became aggressively more reckless. Working hard and playing much harder. Whiskey was no longer enough to make me feel good. So I started to hang out with some old friends that partied a little harder. They were married and both secretly wanted me. This made for some tension for sure.

One day the wife came to pick me up at work. I thought this was weird considering the husband told me he would be picking me up. No big deal though because I trusted both of them.

Apparently the wife was jealous, and decided she wanted to kill me. Literally openly admitted she was trying to kill me by crashing into several cars on the highway. She even fled a high speed chase afterwards, and the accident was never reported.

The person who I was prior to these events would never return. Experiencing amnesia twice during this time frame left me not only broken, but I had lost at least half of my memories. I couldn't remember the most easy of skills. I lost both of my jobs, my home, and my family. Nobody even took the time to ask me what was going on.

No way I would tell myself life couldn't get any worse. Life can always get worse, and that was now very apparent to me. So I began to put the pieces of my life back together.

Always treating others better than I ever treat myself throughout my entire life finally worked for me. It was not hard for me to quickly find a place to live. Not only did I find myself a place to live, but that same day I also found a new job. Although my life was at its lowest I had never felt so much love from other people. It gave me so much hope and joy back into my heart.

That day I realized I didn't need the approval of my family. My actions had touched so many hearts of others, and if I had never hit rock bottom I would have spent my life blind to that love. People I hadn't spoken to in years came out of nowhere to lend me a helping hand.

My new job description was data entry in an optical lab's office. Although my self-esteem had been boosted, I was still extremely intimated by this new job. This was such a drastic change of environment.

Everyone seemed very fake, and I was overwhelmed with how much I had to learn. The amount of medical codes used seemed infinite to me. Quickly I found my new co-workers were not so kind or private. I heard them everywhere making fun of my "dumb" questions. Despite their constant bullying I refused to give up. Everyday for the first three months I cried myself to sleep each night, but I would not give them the satisfaction.

The manager I worked under at the time was an adorable nerd. He seemed to have trouble talking to me. When I asked a question he would rather give me the answer over teaching me. Each day he greeted me with a smile though, and was the only person who didn't speak poorly of me. At least he didn't in ear range. After a while he also became annoyed with me, and I was too afraid to ask any of my other co-workers. It felt like I would never catch on, but they had no idea about the amnesia. I didn't want to start a new job with saying, hey I am recovering from amnesia. It was embarrassing. I lost the simple skills that children can comprehend, and it almost completely wiped all of my memories.

For the first time in my life I wasn't important at my work place. That was completely new to me. Work has been the only thing I have ever done right. As far back as I can remember, each establishment I ever worked in quickly made me a leader.

Now an entire year went by, and I realized they still didn't think highly of me. This is clearly a hard job to get fired from, because nobody ever leaves unless they retire. That was a hard realization, no room to move up in this company. I need to be challenged, because when I get bored that's when I excel in self-destructive behavior.

Everything happens for a reason and I think this job was to humble me in life. I became comfortable in the position I held, and okay with never being promoted. In fact not having responsibility was quite satisfying. My only fear left was developing a tabletop butt from sitting too long. I believe it is called secretary bottom.

Not sure why I got comfortable. Should have learned by now life is constantly changing. After all I had just gone through, and starting a completely new life. I have always been resistant to change, and try to make whatever I have work in any situation.

My manager had been promoted into corporate. Unknowing to me I would truly miss working under him. At first this change seemed as if it was a dream come true. Although the manager I now would be working under hadn't ever been nice to me, I figured I could learn something at the least. She never even said hello, and I overheard her make fun of how I pronounce words. More specifically her name is not spelled traditionally, and I tried to say the correct lettering. Her character does not reflect her work ethic, and she is a hard worker. I'm not at work to make friends, and it isn't often a manager is willing to work as an equal. I was developing more respect for her daily.

She would take the time to teach me procedures, and feed me knowledge. This was good for both of us she wasn't taking on such a large workload, and I finally began to understand my job. She began to turn the office into a team, and honestly it was so refreshing.

Overtime she became more than just my boss, and we had developed a friendship. I knew a bit more than her about the new computer system. Not because I was more knowledgeable, but she hadn't been in the office a long time. So I even felt that purpose I had missed, importance.

Anytime she needed anything she would call or text me. The relationship was so unprofessional that it had become personal, at lease for me. I'd bring in edibles, coffee, and anything else I had available to share. I would share anything with my friends, and if it will make the day go by smoother that is even better. The manager above her was always so hard on her, and to be honest he had no idea how the system worked. He runs the lab, and when he comes with requests they are usually not doable. That made everyone in the office constantly stressed out. On top of that in the past they had an affair so the air was already thick enough without the crack of the whip.

I am constantly trying to make people feel better, so when she would get overwhelmed we would figure it out together. Some nights after everyone left she would cry, and I made sure to tell her she was doing a good job. I know how hard it is to keep going when you are constantly knocked down. It's hard to feel nobody is proud of you when your putting your all into any situation. It's odd despite how awkward I can be, when someone is upset I just have an ability to calm anyone down.

Around Christmas time a few of our best employee's quit. The office stock room was short staffed. I had put so much effort and care into the business I became attached. It was extremely unhealthy, but I also thought of my co-workers as friends. I spend more time with them than anyone else, and we all developed an out of work relationship.

Although my co-workers quit, my manager proceeded to take her vacation time. I was completely shocked, because we were drowning in orders. As well as the stock room had an employee taking their vacation time that same week. She asked me to run the office and make sure everything went smoothly. This request really stressed me out, but with my previous manager being promoted maybe this was my chance to climb the ladder. Maybe it was a test to prove myself. They had not replaced my previous boss that was promoted, and I had now learned all positions.

Both managers seemed to appreciate the hard work, because the office would have easily crashed. They even said to me that they wouldn't have gotten through the week without me.

I assume I overworked myself because I came down with a flu-like virus. I believe it may have been covid19, but still I continued to work daily. This illness went on for three weeks. For three weeks I showed up to work dizzy, hallucinating, struggling to breath, and walking around with a dry cough. It was extremely hard to make it through each shift. The clock seemed to never move. This caused tension with my manager because my speed wasn't up to par. Throughout the three weeks I called out three days. Some employee's call out once a week all year, but nobody bothers them.

With the unbelievable amount of work flooding in, we could not keep up. Still down a manager and a couple employee's. Finally my managers were forced to hire, and decided to go through a temp agency. I was excited because that meant I wouldn't have to make sure all the work was completed when I left each night.

My manager quickly took special interest in one of the temp's. My workload drastically changed from being overwhelming with too much work, to not even having enough work to last the shift. All of a sudden after working 80 hrs a week for months while they didn't have anyone I wasn't allowed overtime, but every other employee could. Then I caught her training employee's my position behind my back, because we are supposed to be the ones that cross-train. Being an adult about things I asked her why she was giving away my responsibilities, and I told her I felt like she used me. She replied to me by saying I am unreliable. Unreliable? I called out three days in the entire year. Let's not even compare myself to other employees that stay low under that radar. Practically doing her job with the same wage, and now her true colors were really showing. She didn't care about me, it was manipulation to get most water from the stone.

During a shift I became extremely sick out of nowhere. My manager asked me to go get checked, and text her when I was finished to let her know what was going on. This is the same manager that said I was unreliable, and she was telling me to leave. I figure I must have looked like death.

Midnight I was discharged from the hospital. She did say to text her when I was finished getting checked out. With the spite she already had for me this was absolutely a fork in the road. I weighed the pro's and con's of following through with that text. I decided no matter which way it went, I would win with the outcome regardless. I had been asking for a department change, and I had completely come to terms with getting fired. Might as well play it safe, and text he as I was asked.

Three days go by and she never said a word to me about the text. However, after lunch I heard her talking about me to my previous manager that got promoted. She had several unprofessional rotten things to say, but most of all she was complaining about the text message. I wasn't about to expose myself, but I did pick the work task closest so I could hear.

When she left his office out of the corner of my eye I see her. She is coming at me and quick. As she approached me like a charging bull, her limbs started to fly around in the air. She proceeds to get closer and begins yelling at me. Yelling about the text message I sent three days prior.

Respect is very important to me. She was doing this in the middle of everybody, and to say it was embarrassing is an understatement. Long story short, I was told I was never allowed to text her again. If I even tried to text her it wouldn't go through, because she blocked me.

Now I understand it was a bit late to be messaging my boss at midnight, but I do enjoy word play when someone uses words are so loosely. I have been a manager many times, and if I were to address something like that I would do it in private. If a person isn't in my good grace I will find every loophole I can in their choice of words. She said she was a friend, and as a friend I would want to know.

My workplace has a cell phone that you can text. For example if you need to call out, but nobody is in the building yet. The first couple years I had been working there everyone believed I was a complete idiot. How quickly people forget what you're capable of when you fly under the radar. I will use that mark of stupidity to my advantage.

A week or so goes by and I decided to text my "sister" about the events at hand in my workplace. I knew I couldn't take action right away. So I figured I could bring the attention of the other management on her, and how unprofessional she is. I did not expose anything that would get her fired, but enough to draw attention to her. I would never want anyone to lose their job. I could also be fired, and I was prepared for that.

Once again nothing was said to me.

A week later I approach the Lab manager, and again I request not to work under the office manager. He replied saying he would think about it, but I was under investigation. I asked why am I under investigation? Just so I could inquire more information. He said, "you fucked up and sent a text to the wrong person."

This is when I came up with the final nail in the coffin. I have my manager on facebook, and I was not blocked there! I decided I would send one final text to her about everything. Including things that could cost her the job, and if she wanted to address this she would be coming down too. It could go three different directions, and it was all up to her.

The three ways I played out in my head were as followed; I could get fired, they will switch my department, or she would keep it to herself like an adult. In my opinion it being a personal letter not pertaining to work in any way, I'd keep it to myself. I didn't expect her to act like an adult though, and I was counting on her over-reaction.

As I walked into work that morning the lab manager grabbed me as I walked by. He said 'before you do anything I need to talk to you.' I knew she had taken the bate. She wanted me gone and she counted on my stupidity. Little did she know when I first started working there I had just recovered from two cases of amnesia. I am actually a very intelligent person, and always happy to gain new knowledge.

He sat me down and addressed the facebook message he had printed out. He tried to intimidate me with it, but I pointed out nothing in the message pertained to work. I proceeded to explain to him that we had a personal relationship, and the way she had been using me was inhumane. I took each and every loop hole that came out of his mouth, and worked it to my advantage.

By the end of the conversation my department had been switched. I was not allowed to enter the office, text anyone from the office, or talk to them in passing.

My confession is I was hurt by my manager, and I played all of this out on purpose. This is completely out of character, but then again you can pretty much choose who is in your personal life. There is no in between with me, it's all or nothing. While she was working hard to make me look bad, she let her guard down. To this day everyone at work still thinks that text message was a mistake. That is not the case, and people are predictable. I suggest never playing me in chess, because I will always be two moves ahead.