The Eu-Stress Dilemma For Leaders Building Teams

Often, we hear advice as Leaders, and we try to run with it quickly!

"This" thing must the the "Thing" that I've been missing!

However, often the sources of where we hear those things are only a small "part" of what is really needed to be understood.

When you only get a small piece of the total, you end up with something that doesn't work.

What makes it worse is that we generally think that it doesn't work after that!

Case in point - Big Goals.

Research has shown, time after time, having "Big Goals" is necessary for the highest levels of success.

In the literature, Big Goals are often called "Eu-Stress", aka "Good Stress".

That is correct, stress can actually be beneficial, and often is NEEDED to succeed at the highest levels!

However, when many Leaders attempt to " implement" Big Goals, they end up failing horribly!

Why is this?

The simple answer is that there is a LOT more to unpack about understanding Stress before this works out the way we hope.

These are other aspects of what you must understand if you want to achieve Big Goals with your team.

All Stress Adds

The very first thing we need to realize is that ALL Stress adds together.

It does not matter where that source of stress lies, physiologically it makes no difference.

So if problems are happening at home, it will impact work.

Stress from work will also impact people's home lives.

It is impossible to separate the two.

When it comes to creating Big Goals, it is often called a Eu-Stress.

However, when you understand that all stress adds together, even something "usually" considered a "Eu-Stress" can become a "Dis-Stress".

Let me give you another example to make this more clear.

Working out is generally considered a Eu-Stress, there are a lot of benefits to working out.

However, if you have a broken arm and attempt to do bicep curls with that arm, it is now a Dis-Stress.

There is too much stress going on with that arm currently, and "adding" new stress will only make things worse.

This is true in every aspect of our lives.

If you are already Burnt-Out or highly Dis-Stressed, a Big Goal might just break you or your team.

As a leader, you need to understand where your team's current stress levels are, and understand what (if anything) can be "added".

However, this is the bigger issue - most teams are already Burnt-Out completely!

This means that unless you figure out the Burnout problem first, a Big Goal is useless and will only cause "Bigger" Dis-Stress leading to complete Burnout faster.

If you want to reach a Big Goal, you need to figure out how to help reduce your team's overall Dis-Stress, so they have the capacity to take on the Eu-Stress of a Big Goal and direct energy to it effectively.

The Goal Versus The Day-To-Day

The next big challenge we see is that we hear "Big Goal" but don't realize there is a difference between the Goal and the Day-to-Day.

The initial reaction that most Leaders have is that if we aim for a Big Goal, then we need to exponentially increase our Day-to-Day tasks to meet that goal!

However, it never works like this and will simply lead to Dis-Stress quickly.

Instead, you need to "Walk" before you "Run".

If you try to force a baby to "sprint", they fall on their faces.

Your team is "young" and they have to master the small basics before they can do "more".

Essentially, you need to understand the Domino Effect.

It is impossible to move a domino with brute force if it is the size of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, no matter how strong you are.

But, if you start with a 2-Inch domino, it can knock down another domino that is 50% larger than itself.

Then, follow this trend: 50% larger, then 50% larger than that, and so on.

Within 30 dominos it is able to generate enough force to knock down the Tower of Pisa without any struggle.

You need to break down the "Big Goal" into tiny "2-Inch Goals", and as these are mastered, you will gain the momentum to crush the Big Goal.

The Ratio

Next, we need to understand Flow states.

This is where we do our best work, feel our best, learn faster, become more creative, solve problems better, and is where we become our most productive (The research shows 500% more productive).

Flow States occur as a part of a 4-Stage cycle.

The first step is known as the "Struggle" Phase.

Another way to say this is you need "Eu-Stress".

Just a "little" stress and struggle is needed before it is all "Released" (second phase) and we enter "Flow" (third phase).

However, there is a Ratio that helps us understand this better.

It is called the "Challenge-Skill Ratio". Essentially the "Challenge" needs to be only a "little" bit more difficult than a person's current "Skill" level.

How small are we talking about?

The challenge needs to be about 4% more difficult than someone's current skill level.

Essentially, we need only 4% stress to get into the Flow States.

However, there are two problems.

First is "All Stress Adds", which means if you are past 4% stress in your life, you will be blocked from Flow States.

Second is making sure that we don't go "beyond" the 4%, which is the Domino problem, most people attempt to go closer to 10%, and some even attempt to go at 500% more than their current skills!

Now, as a Leader, we may understand what "4%" looks like for us personally, but do you actually know what "4%" looks like for your team?

Most Leaders don't, and this leads to them quickly breaking way beyond that ratio for everyone on their team!

Hence, part of why we have such high levels of Burnout today!

The Moving Target

The previous point is made even more difficult because our "Current Skill" level will change every single day!

If we did not recover (i.e. sleep well, get good nutrition, had fights at home, have a sick family member, etc.) then our "Current Skill" the next day will actually be "worse" than the previous day!

On top of this, if we continue doing something well, we will over time naturally get better at it, meaning that our "Current Skill" will increase.

Due to these things, the "4%" we are seeking will literally always be changing.

We then get into another problem here.

If we go above the 4%, then we begin to become overwhelmed, leading to faster burnout.

If we go below the 4%, then we become bored - stay bored long enough and we seek challenges somewhere else.

As a Leader, you need to balance the moving targets of everyone on your team and prevent both "Burnout" AND "Boredom".

If you burn everyone out, you'll never reach High Goals because people will only be able to (or will refuse to do more than) the "Minimums".

If you aren't challenging members of your team enough, they will leave knowing they could do more somewhere else.

Room To Fall

The final thing Leaders need to understand is what ends up being one of the biggest stresses in our lives - The stress from "Fear of Failure".

This is something that has been instilled in nearly every single person from childhood because of how the school system has been designed.

If you "fail" classes, you are told you will "fail" life and you need to avoid "failure" at all costs.

A "passing" grade is the only acceptable result.

For some, only a "perfect" grade is acceptable, and anything less is viewed as a "failure" (some people even consider an A- a failure!)

This mindset actually sets us all up for becoming horrible at becoming successful.

We only accept "perfection" that can never be attained.

We avoid "Big Goals" because we can't be "perfect" at them.

We play "small" so that we can try to maintain "perfection".

However ALL "Big Goals" REQUIRE failure!

And not just "some", but A LOT of failure!

If you want to push your team to achieve a Big Goal, you need to not only "accept" failure, but normalize it!

You need to make it so that any time someone falls, they are helped back up and told how awesome it was they fell!

You need everyone on your team to stop being afraid of failure.

That fear creates extreme levels of Stress that quickly become Dis-Stress, preventing the possibility of reaching Big Goals.