Small Talk, No No Memories from my Youth years and work.

I would sit with my friend on a bench in the nearest park

and would ask questions highly sensitive should never ask someone who doesn't feel that much as the answers will be just lost or inter plotted into some kind of a moaning gibbering of His.

I do really like Him and so did I love and liked to tell Him everything

this is How our long time friendship journey began when we were still at the first year of academic state.

It occurred He also signed up for the same project as I even though I haven't seen Him during the first important meeting about it

However, we both met at the final stage during the exam and were sitting next to one another as the exam was to pass the language with a min of 90 score of at least

I actually even prepared myself for it, as a highly sensitive when You are truly prepared It does really help and it occurred to be what I thought so all went very smoothly just like that taking an hour and a half to my surprise.

We didn't have a chance to talk that much as I quickly left the room while He was still in there checking His answers sure I could wait but I needed to run for the train.

Nevertheless, we met up again while the score was given to find out that We were both accepted, just the final step is left for now to decide whether to go or not to take a part in it all.

As usual with everything that is organized things are moving fast so there is no time to wander or for doubts

I had no choice and no hesitations

I dreamed about going away to another continent

My first choice was Japan but this project was about Jaipur so I didn't mind I just wanted to go there I felt its my way completely

A dream came true out of nowhere and finally, luckily I could get out of Poland as far as possible.

Now I just needed to complete all with the highest score in all subjects at my Academy so that They will give me permission to take part in it, luckily this year I did it all great and was just about to leave.

While He came to me and yes We had that small talk I liked Him from the first sight tall, long black hair kind of my type haha, I dont have a type

I love the inside or I dont that's all.

I just didn't know the main fact He may like me but that is not His way in fact He told me that quite too late. He is gay.

He wanted to let me know that He is not going, I kind of felt that but His friends were going just with some delays so I will be the first one to check this Land and project.

For a moment I was trying to convince Him that It may be one such a chance for a lifetime and He should try to but I noticed He is not into it, not this time I smiled and left.

I was going for the India project and I needed to prepare. I felt like the happiest person in the world ready for a new adventure to come.

I must have been kind of a crazy or courages because I was going first without any delays and fears.

Just a week before going to India exactly five days before I still was arranging the Visa and again I was lucky to get it that fast.

My ex-boyfriend invited me to visit Him in Uk and I thought why not I have four days off I can go and see if I may go to live in the Uk after all.

The travel was fast and intensive our relationship was going nowhere and I was almost late for the bus to get the last flight to be on time back to Poland.

The whole journey in Uk showed me and opened so many new possibilities with work that I already almost got if not the India project and I must admit I really liked the places that we visited in Birmingham and Nottingham even got some time to see some Art galleries, met new people and started to heal myself for real from the relation I was in. I was even offered a job for real in there, strange things are happening when You already got something organized.

I was happy to go to India I knew It is gonna be both a challenging and healing journey and I was ready to experience everything good in there

I even enjoyed the turbulences in the plane I must have been a real psycho in some kind of way if it goes about adventurous side of mine because if it all were happening right now I would be just scared to death and probably would never come back from India as of the only way with a plane haha the fact. I also in real never wanted to come back from there after six months of areal-life experience in India the last thing that I wanted was to come back to Poland, if not the end of my visa and Academy I literally would stay. I felt I am not done. I felt like I have just started to heal and after six intensive crazy months I need some more time to rest to recover in a more alone way than before. I managed to prolong my visa for a month more but that was all.

I suppose to talk and write about the small talk but I arrived at the India Jaipur life from a far away past.

I guess for quite a long I wanted to write about it but there was never time and it has so much so many things to be shared and I guess things just come the natural way.

So already on the plane I was called a crazy one I was just 23 years old maybe now it is something normal at that time there was no camera life. You only shared Your best life experiences with your Loved one so did I.

So I guess also for that reason not being bothered with the phone to record everything and the whole You get life memory stored as images in Your mind and brain this information are so good so happy that they do really choose to stay whenever You can You tap into them to analyze the life and know and feel the contrast but also a unity to that whole of a state.

Experiences are becoming different when You write them with more of an age but They do feel the same and make You smile the same.

So I was so lucky enough that the person next to me was also a keen global traveler that was pretty nice so my flight was more than just a great surprise

I enjoyed it all the full time.

We had quite a bit of a chat He laughed and said I am gonna be in the pain haha.

He arranged the transport later on as of course as He said and knew nobody from the organizer and the company was waiting there for me.

He was the designer for new cellphone screens, Yes at that time the name was a cellphone now a phone is already the indicator for a cellphone but in the past, We had more stationary ones too so I needed to include both of the names so that It will bring the times from past and the names that We used to use as of that.

So He really loved the idea that I am also into design and very creative I was so happy for making a friend so fast that I could train my language and He said no matter what whenever I will be coming to Delhi please Let me know How You are and What is going on in there in Your life.

So nice, Now I wonder if at my age of now and during this time He is also this kind of a human inside. He shared photos of His future wife and the place where He is planning to settle in there. He also explained to me His new job plans I really loved such a connection because He wasn't about Himself but about all to share and talk about. I probably also shared half of my life in these three hours of a much longer flight and then we both decided to go silent and just got the rest. I think He was the sensitive one because He had all the empathy a normal human being does really have, I haven't felt from him any kind of bad energy. I felt safe and secure sharing all because He also did share and what is more, He cared for my safe transport, He offered me to stay at His hotel He said its all free as the company is paying for all so there is no issue if He will take another room for a friend as He is actually in need of creative ones for His designs. Even if I just want to refresh myself. We even drove around in a taxi because He wanted to show me the beautiful building and architecture of His hotel home in Delhi. I was impressed and really liked the architecture and the atmosphere that was emanating out of its view.

Unfortunately, I rejected the offer as I thought I am starting my job the next week which later occurs to not be the truth but I was in India for the very first time I was happy as a monkey can be and eager for the new experiences and I loved it all from the moment we landed and so many taxi drivers and so many people gathered around us shouting as I say I was probably very sick of a European life so everything that was not a Europe like was where I wanted to be at and connected with this time of my life.

I even got to remember His name was Bob and He gave me his email and phone and We really had good human connection while I was in there from time to time He was checking How am I?

We did even meet when I was going out at the very end of my staying in there. He was already married and moved to Brazil. I have such a rule that I don't involve in a relationship with a married one because it's their time to create a family. I never knew why He was so nice to me because I was young. Probably that might be the truth being young I never realized that.

When I am older I actually do realize that many things are completely different even if I am trying not to live that way the world and people love to remind You, of Your age.

The restaurant We met in was of course in Jaipur as I couldn't go out just like that the place looked as for really The most richest people in there, However, I have been in so many of them various ones that One never I could recognize people who love to go to such places. Drinks were prepared with a Huge fire performance the bottles of Champaign were enormous and believe me at that time if You got vodka, whiskey or just Corona beer that was great. Everybody were drinking because it kept You healthier my friend Bob laughed. Still, I was highly sensitive and I could manage all drinking environment and even be able to drink with them all a bit like I normally never did or liked I just listened to the advices of older friends who knew how to survive in there. Now I won't be able to drink at all for a change I wonder if i will be having issues with my health as of that in there.

I dont find drinking that much of a healthy as everybody were trying to convince me in India that it keeps health issues and bacterias, and viruses away from You.

However, in my theory, it makes Your body weaker and especially Your liver weaker and Your immune system and it takes away a good chi energy out of You so if You are older some wine maybe is good but You don't need it at all. Maybe there is some truth with vodka and cleaning from bacteria it probably detoxifies You but if You get sick then You are much weaker because drinking hurts Your organs so getting better takes longer. Cold drinks are generally not good for Your overall body and brain system.

I don't remember our talk and meeting at all just this huge fire, big bottles, noisiness and an enormous bathroom like in a castle I think I was going for another meeting later on so We only met up for a short time, my rules with married ones.

As a coincidence I happened to visit this place also in the afternoon on Saturday.

It occurred that my friends are going for a swimming pool and to my surprise I came back to this huge enormous restaurant during the day the park with many beautiful peacocks but It wasn't where I felt good and okay. It wasn't the real Jaipur India I got to know I loved the contrast that was quite strong in between to experience and have a balance of it.

I wasn't able to work as my friend Bob did and live as It seemed to me not true to the real life of other people. Everything on the plate with no taste of a real-life experience of each level and layer of it only the richest shelf not my way. Some places were causing me overwhelming discomfort so I was there just for a short moment maybe it was about the people I can not tell exactly why I evacuated myself quickly from there this time.

Even though it was one of the most visited and favorite places for so many people that lived in Jaipur for quite a long I mean tourists also.

I even feel that discomfort now while writing and still I can not tell why. It was something about this place too perfect to be real.

They had everything in there and everything was very beautiful in real but the energy wasn't right. I loved and like always something hidden not discovered yet by the whole and sure some local favorite places where all people all nations gathered together as One without the differences.

Here I felt simply as small and poor as in the company I worked in and that was something I hadn't experienced for quite a long while going out, being living in Jaipur I also didn't like the way how other nationalities are acting there and treating local people that serve them the best they could. It was just horrible to experience and I couldn't focus on anything else.

Even the peacocks were not able to purify these images noises and experiences that were going in there early in the day.

My European friends that We haven't seen each other for quite a long were also acting quite strange so I left with another girl that lived with me because She also felt something was not all right in there.

Sure I was enjoying the luxury the comfort of the Richest friends there and their invitations to new places and parties to some degree but without the whole rest and without living in Barkat Nagar and connection to all the other people I could have, I wouldn't be able to enjoy them that much I needed the normal real human balance.

I wanted to get to know all kinds of Panjabi and understand all the differences between them that are really there able to be noticed. I had Panjabi friends and all of them seemed like from different casts and their life completely differ from one another something that I experienced with the Hindu friends but not on a such level of contrast in between them all.

The peacock place was just a place full of drunk rich tourists something I wasn't keen to experience anymore. I came to India to get to know people from there and their culture through a normal living experience and Yes they do differ in between each other not only in economic status but also education and religion and in what they believe is good and right for them but to bring order to it all You really need time and You may actually get lost in the chaos of it. Even taking part in so many events festivals rituals things won't make any sense so You need to let them be as They are for each individual and observe and take part in their life so that You will learn more from them. You need to tap into more human-to-human thinking and forget all the things You got to read in Europe as the real experience of India is a completely different kind of India. I hate disrespect, especially towards people who are not guilty of the anger of another now I know this place was full of very violent rich narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths that just did what they usually are doing daily abusing and terrorizing innocent individuals for simply nothing. One simple mistake and You are off to some horrible nightmare accusations We came there to rest, relax admire the beautiful garden and peacocks, and even have some swimming pool experience but All I remembered were drunk loud people that made me even impossible to drink anything in peace. Even when we moved to another level of that really beautiful restaurant. Together with the experience of the previous night I really for the first time had enough.

Anyway I am again coming back into the European state of mind so I am already so overwhelmed and still wanna feel like a child writing the memories that were like a completely new life

From the perspective and experience of the now, I already know that what I meant European state that I was sick of was narcissistic people that's all nothing to add and comment on more.

Coming back again to the early beginning of my arrival to Jaipur.

So the project was like a dream to jump into a new different culture and discover it from the very roots of its living at least in my head in my imagination it was that way. The whole rest was about working in India as a trainee with a very low income and cheap accommodation which was also my part of being there. Otherwise getting Visa to stay longer was not possible besides getting married haha.

As Bob said there will be no one waiting for me at least not in Delhi but this I already knew and felt too so I checked which line to take.

I think it was the silver line so strange I can remember the things so in detail from there even with the names of the streets and Barkat Nagar where I lived I remember exactly the images of buildings, streets, and people but I would need to dive from a different kind of mind if I will be asked to recall the memories of different places like the ones in Italy where I can't tell You the names of the streets even the famous ones so I guess it's an important sign for me to know why I can so quickly recall the ones from further past. Besides the famous Via Roma that actually exists in many different countries as well, haha.

India wasn't a place where nothing bad was going on completely not truth but the balance and the harmony between both the good and the bad the extreme and nonextreme were just humanly okay.

I was able to recover to recharge in time and almost every night had a really great interesting and different kind of social life. It was from the very first week of my arrival in Jaipur. The new places I discovered most of them I haven't even been able to photograph as I felt at home in there like I will be there forever.

Discoveries and experiences seemed endless.

Let's come back to the moment I am just on the silver line and the bus station. Bob said He must go to a meeting so He left me in there but I was more than just okay with it. I was really less of a worry than He was.

So I really enjoyed the ride but when the bus was already reaching my destination I felt like I will need to wait quite a while.

I went out and Yes there was someone a very young boy but He didn't know where to go and where He should take me so We needed to wait but I was still okay.

As for such a long flight and way, I don't know I must have been quite high in my mind as I didn't even think about eating right away. I had a bottle of water and I bought some sandwiches as the bus had some stops where You actually could buy some great snacks. All was going pretty smoothly for such a huge continental change. I felt really good on the plane and on the bus and loved all people around felt great good positive energy from the whole. There was just one woman on the plane when the turbulences started She gave me a worried gaze and I smiled at Her as If saying I experienced worser that's nothing It will be fine. Later She admired the watch that I got from my mum from Her recent travel, She told me She doesn't like to fly so we monitored How much time it is left and just went on occupying ourselves with watching the movies, listening to music, and checking the map how close to the destination We really are.

Sometimes I just kept on being silent because You can not give advice to people older than You at least not while on a flight when someone is anxious the only thing You can do is to stay positive happy inside relaxed and in peace it may help the person.

Now being older I know how She felt for real It would take me time to calm down absorbing Her energy while sitting next to me if it was happening now. Something that was coming to me so easily with no effort while I was younger more wild-free in my mind..

After one very unfortunate flight, I am not such a fan of planes anymore for now so If only one person in the plane feels anxious I will catch it strongly and may have a hard time calming it if traveling alone but let's save it for later

..Being already in Jaipur and waiting at the Bus station for someone to pick me up and take me to my new Indian home was like magic maybe I carried some fears I probably wasn't even capable of that much. I was more focused on How great relief I can feel and It was just fulfilling me with such a dose of happiness I was smiling so deeply inside and outside I probably looked crazy with such a banana smile on and on waiting for my first rickshaw experience.

I was so happy that I have made it through and suddenly another guy arrived He talked so fast and His energy wasn't right for me but He helped me to take a rickshaw and I was again so happy to be in.

He was like You are different more girls do complain about it as it's shaky and chaotic sure it is but We are in India who said we gonna have a normal life whatever it really means. I was smiling through whole the way to my new place my new home. I need to tell You straight away my reader whenever I am going alone the place feels even much more like my real home this time it felt literally like the home I already know.

Finally, We arrived it was very far away from the city center far away from all and everything We drove through this day. I really loved the colors of the buildings and Yes they were full of orange, turqua and yellow and bright red. So many dogs walking around in groups barking next to the quite tall yellow wall that pinky painted names whatever they meant made it one of the favorites to be watched and photographed by me I was in Love with India. It screamed the word Hope and Please Help me.

The entrance was through the house of somebody else so It was like entering Your mind but in a more physical level of experience as if You were crossing the hall of Your neighbor to get into Your room haha.

Which was more than intimidating at first but also hilarious and after all the journey and travel I was still so happy. I loved the smell in there, a smell of another culture's scents and food. I already saw some people living in there for the international exchange and I saw the owners and their servants, The servants were so nice and so humble I was happy they will prepare food for me and that they will be there so that I will not feel surrounded only by the owners because I recognized their energy and what kind of people are they, their daughter was very young but already a business like approach they call it Bossy ! She didn't pay much attention to me they all didn't. I was told my room is not ready and I will need to wait a week or two. At the beginning and during that time I wasn't capable of what are they saying to me. The room is not ready we were all supposed to come a month before the delay was because the organizer was late with the confirmation.

The person responsible for my job placement and for showing me around was actually the daughter of the owners of the place I stayed in.

She was just entirely extremely busy, nobody knew with what but I found out She was responsible even for my salary and the only thing She did really care about was if I paid for the food and the rent. Everything else was not in Her business plan so She literally didn't care if I have a room or if i am paid if I am fine.

So did I never cared for relation with Her the less the better from my side just as healthy natural as It was possible to keep me from interacting with Her until one time but I prefer to skip it for another writing ride.

The company said I should start from Monday so no longer travel during the weekend is even included. The rules were strict I work I am not able to travel. I knew it all I was already in my life travel just being in there.

I actually had no one to talk with the guy who took me with a rickshaw just run away and left me like that. I asked for a bathroom and toilet and as I now remember the narcissistic mother was the most ignorant the father the covert narcissist as usual He needed to ask Her to tell the servant to show me the toilet.

I just arrived and They were acting as if I am one year in there knowing all.

I suddenly saw a Polish girl and She told me She is going out at night for a traditional night before the wedding and if I want to join Her sure I want to. She told me that unfortunately She is leaving in 5 days and She will not be back in here anymore. I can join with Her for the night and the wedding ceremony, She was a really nice one. That is fine I said, I came here to discover India and Indian people. She was asking me to take pills for Malaria but I wasn't so concerned about it, as I felt it was all right I already took another kind of protective pack of injections and I wasn't feeling it was okay for my body. I also had some protective pills for the fauna flora of my stomach and It was all fine for me.

At that time I was still taking some pills from time to time I wasn't aware of the pills and the damage they can cause. However, I believed that these natural pills are really supporting my stomach from the new kind of food intake and they truly did till the moment I got sick.

But wait, Lets come back to the time when I am just sitting in there already met the Polish girl already going with Her at night now I just need to leave my luggage and eat. I am highly sensitive can You even feel the change ? I am surrounded by so many different kind of people but because I am transparent and universal in my head I dont have an issue with it.

That was my mind and my approach in life and because of that transparency and no ego self, I could manage to go everywhere alone.

Sure I was getting sick too but there were always someone with love to help me through even the biggest narcissist were helping me through.

So I am sitting in there finally the servant is coming to me and I ask Her from where does She come from because I see She is different than people in Jaipur are as of my first impression at least. She did look different and She told me that Her village is far away not in Rajasthan but in another state and they speak a different way and Her child will arrive soon also to be the servant and cook together with Her, I was happy because She was so nice and Her son was also.

Beautiful, Humble people that need to serve such cruel human creatures out of their hearts I actually never let Her serve me food again as I believed She is a new nice encounter so I need to arrange the food by myself not add to Her work but gave Her some time to rest.

She finally went downstairs with me at the beginning I didn't understand much of the behavior in there. Now after analyzing things from a distance after years knowing much more about humans because of that knowing and understanding why they were acting this way and not another.

I can say that the toilet was actually in the same room that I was waiting for someone to tell me the way. However nor the mother of this house nor the father and the bossy daughter were able to give that much of a second to just show me the door and let me in, haha.

I must admit I was actually very happy with the less and less or minus zero interaction with them later on. Telling the truth and being open to such individuals cost You a real storm and sickness I knew that from experience.

So finally we are downstairs again I feel a kind of a breath to leave the living room where all people that were coming back from work were gathered and eating and later resting on a huge old bed and watching "Sex and the City" I must admit I didn't have time for watching sitcomes or anything besides some movies from time to time while being in Poland but art movies because when I was not working on art and paintings and other theory things I was still helping the ones in need and I guess to just free myself after I understood I need to help myself too was the only way to rest from it all but was that a real thing going on. I was again thrown into the same kind of a family system that I knew from Europe and the same kind of cruel behaviors the only plus I was still young, I was still young, I was still young and the damage was in there but as just 23 years old even your energy level your chi energy level if so positive You are still keeping strong no matter what. You are a stranger so You can leave home as much as You like to and whenever You like to, that's All. I also must admit that at first I was thinking Why the girls are watching Sex and the city We are in India if I am in India I much prefer to watch Indian movies or listen to Indian songs just to be able to dive into another culture. I waited there quite a long so We watched it, sure I enjoyed it, I think I needed to watch it for six days in a row as one of the girls was the one who worked at my future company and She was also the first person to take me out and show where I can buy food, how I need to take a rickshaw. She took me to the subway so at least I knew where I can grab food outside. Later She left me on the way back I remember I was just watching and smiling I was not able to try anything also because I needed to exchange the money.

I also remembered that while the owner's father was taking a nap before He was watching old Indian movies and I watched it all there with Him silently waiting for somebody to bring me the good news about my room.

Running away from where I was we went downstairs I hope You don't mind my reader to jump in and out I think it is a great gymnastic for the mind inside and outside out.

So we were downstairs taking that breath also took a while I already started to notice that as in my house as in this country everything will take a long time to be made so patience is in there but also everything fast that is in Europe in India will take hours to be made haha. She told me to wait, She said She need to clean it and that there are two. In one I can take a shower in another I just can do my things.

I waited outside the house now and observed the way I was wondering if I can go out another way from this house the other entrance looked much better even moremagicalc to leave the house at night

My first night and I was already ready to just go out, I think I already felt inside my social life in India will be the most of a bright one I ever had.

She finally called me and showed me the bathroom I kind of did not even see the toilet in there nor the shower so I asked Her to show me another maybe haha where I can at least know how to use it all.

That another was better She told me here You have a hole, here water no paper You just clean that is all, I laughed hah.

It was my first time using such toilet what an experience to go through I must say after sitting so long the position You need to manage in the traditional Indian home in the toilet is kind of a challenge I felt like Adam Malysz preparing Himself before the jump and I already knew the gym will be there every day just like that a very healthy way I must say. I wasn't able to take a shower in there for the first time so I said maybe later at night.

When I went out there was a German girl I recognized by their way of being and the language. I said Hi to them I will be living here too from now on, They said oh it's great at least first people welcome me happily here.

I said to them it seems like there is no room ready for me yet, The girl just immediately offered me Her place, She said there is a materace in here if I don't mind I can sleep in there as She is going out for two weeks in two days. Sure, thank You - Thank God I always was the lucky one.

Very fast other girls gathered, They seemed not so much relaxed by their style and being They asked if I know the entrance through another hall of another house and I quickly asked the girl How long does She live in there and by the accent I could tell She is Polish but because She also knew Italian and Spanish She looked more like an Italian girl. She told me She is finally changing Her room and She wanted so badly to show me it just right now right there so I remembered I went with Her, She got a really beautiful room that I lived in too, four months later. I asked Her are You from Poland ? and She finally relaxed Yes and We could talk a bit in our language, She told me a lot in a very short time but We needed to finish fast as She had Her Yoga guy waiting for Her in a dark room. Everybody in there was living kind of a different Indian life. She worked in fashion so I wasn't surprised by the way She was in there We only saw each other twice from that time but never went out together to have fun or so I just met Her later on while We both were on our dates in the same restaurant and She showed me the best plate I can order and eat in there It was really a great fun and food what a night. I wish She never left because She was really nice and fine and knew How to keep Her private life far away from the eyes of the others. Something I couldn't tell about myself from home I had a problem keeping myself whole in private besides the thing that I never do share my real human life experience of life that is only for me to stay in there. She left the company that at first organized the job for Her and was able to transfer to another job. I have no idea How did She manage to do it but I was so happy for Her. She introduced me to two Indian friends They both looked like tall Indian actors and kind of this is How She managed to find a better solution for Her next.

However, I was so happy to finally have a private room even if just for a month or two, and be located a house away from the owners I could jump the fence and it was what I loved the most at night. I remembered sometimes the other owner was out and He never liked I jumped that fence but I just couldn't help to do it that way. Even if I was dressed for a luxury night in the high hills and a dress, Yes believe me If you wanna go clubbing have great dance night India - Jaipur was the place for that.

The contrast of everything in there was huge a chaos and an order at night with Your updating for real social life. During a day I had my orders at work everything was so greatly planned and made so I had my orders that were keeping me sane. I also had these moments alone where it was just me and India as my new real home. What I loved the most was the long way to my work and everywhere where I went and go.

From the very first moment and a week, I was invited by so many Indian boys and girls to their houses. It was really something I couldn't tell I could allow myself to do while being fully into studying and something that I really loved to do just be with people getting to know them and their life.

I could just choose what to do but actually it was more I was choosen to interact with who was there to heal as it was and still is my mission in life. As You can guess the most difficult harmful cases were in there. So even If I tell I had my social life and could enjoy actually what? Just being far away from my family home that's all. The healing was on. Every night, every new person I met had their stories and the more I was in there the more heavy things I was finding out from the real people's life. It was painful and It was hard at times because some of the people I get to know revealed the most horrible painful experiences of life they so far went through I felt their pain and How it affected their life experiences of now my issues were melting away this time I had my art as a therapy but in India I wasnt able even to digest things this way which wasnt good for me at all. So I turned my work into the digital paintings so at least I could digest and expressed myself somehow somewhere. Work was where I actually could take a break analyze all while designing.

Let's come back to the moment where I am standing in there The girl offered me the room I am so happy and I am going upstairs to take my luggage I still need permission from the owners of course They will be so happy I am going out of their living room as that was I was offered as a highly sensitive that was my number one No way. How I will recover and rest in the space full of people coming by I can have it for one day but not for the whole time. I came in there and one german girl introduced me to another girl She was Brasilian and She didnt wanna come back to Her country, No wonder why. I told Her for me it is not a problem If you want to work for them if only I can work in any company from the start I will be completely fine. She was kind of an angry for me. I dont know why this all anger was coming out of Her for just me being I think It wasnt just that She wanted to work for them, even though When I saw Her projects and She asked me if I can do it that way. Sure not I was offered a job of a different kind but I can also learn to make that. Then I just checked Her study with mine and I though OMG they are not able to distinguish faculty of painting from a faculty of painting it is obvious and normal that I wont be able to do what she does through Her three years of study and Her faculty was focused only on product design so She actually did what She normally does everyday at Her Academy. I was very concerned as I used to am I dont like to be thrown into something different than what am I told before. For a moment I wondered Oh woaw If I wont learn it in two weeks How will I start to work for the whole production of it Even though my first task in the company occure to be something much more relaxed and easier and completely not connected with what I was told by her. Our imagination about the work and theirs were completely different mind. For the start I was told to not to make a fast progress but I was the working hard so even through They were not in need of what She was doing for them I felt more than just obligued to be able to do it. Thanks God She had a two weeks to show me everything so She showed me all in 5 days and later left for a Mumbai travel. She told me I am sorry but I am really not happy that I need to live and I can not handle my emotions that You are here, She meant me I wasnt used to such truth but I also took it on my chest It wasnt my fault I understood Her concern but I also gave Her a choice I told Her I can work for any other company that will offer me a job so She does have time to confirm them. They just didnt care for Her and Her work. That was sad and She threw this all anger on me I really felt better When She was away even though I loved Her work and all She did for them. I noticed They do really not care but I also noticed that Her approach is not different than what She does represent in Her country style. My approach was completely different I am in New country new culture so its their rules their way and my idea for them that somehow I need synchronize and adjust to how do they work and their needs are. I am always great with others business than with my own and its like that till now. So I saw She did work a lot but Her designs were similar its like She came to India but Her land was still a Brasil land and I think such approach is not what they are looking for but You never know whats in their head. About the five bosses I had I will tell You maybe another time because it is actually already chaotic to think about. I just will tell my short experience with them and You probably won't believe it. So in exchange of what this fantastic girl was doing for them a really great product designer on a technical level like me never.

They just ignored Her work I think it wasnt what their client were in need for and that's what couldn't longer work. Otherwise I wouldnt be even asked to come in there. I was a natural in everywhere I just needed time to accomodate and I did in the meanwhile while not being bothered by any of the bosses. I was just told to do simple tasks and I had a tour round in a company that I really loved and like. Even though my work condition to the condition of another were not even to compare to my other friends I felt lucky to experience it all. I even feel that wave now I could really go in there again to try the experience in another way. As long as they will pay me this time a normal salary not like it was the last time I was in there I brough them client for the fortune and they have paid me not even 100 dollars a month and I was working in there and waiting eveveryday two hours for all the permission to leave the job later for a driver to take me back home and it wasnt a taxi but a motorbike without a helmut such a crazy ride. And I was so happy to be alive ! To be able to eat the best food and best fruits of India land to be able to talk with so many different individuals not online in real life and always have that little shelter in my room in some family house that I didnt even know and get to know well because there was no time or no way for that. Who I got to know in there that is another time of my life We were so lucky to crush on each other and arrive at the same time One boy from Africa next to me and another from italy next to me. African boy was like my real brother We just synchronized just like that He was a real brother He had 5 brothers in real in His homeland and He was the oldest of them so I really liked all His attitude towards others He was also lucky as He worked for the same Boss as He had in Africa in RPA but what was the best He had that relaxed dancing way of a being and walking and it was addictive His way was relaxing You straight away. You could always share everything with Him with no judging no criticizing He was out of anger and there must have been a real reason for that to make Him react on something that was not all right. We also shared some info about the owners of this house to better stay silent and try not to react for how they are. He was the one that was eating the food in the owners house I couldn't do it, I thought I am different but It was actually me the sensitive I wouldnt be able to sit comfortably near all of them and the whole energy that was very tense. It was a completely different experience to eat outside in the restaurants there were always someone nice around or You can just run away for a bathroom or a balcony to take a breath from the whole in there.

How come I was still able to travel everyday with bike rickshaw and motor rickshaw and with a bus and with a driver to work and back home.

I have no idea I remembered i was determined and I loved it the everyday new experience and almost a new transport, new people new animals on the way camels that I would prefer to meet on a desert I mean the very alienated dessert or the family of wild pigs and wild boars in the size of me almost in a wild but still so nice and kind that they only cared for the food spread in there they had so many little ones that I was afraid of to interact but I was just passing by for work and they were there eating some veg.

I remembered one day it was already after 5 months of working I broken my sandalas and I was almost reaching the space where I take the driver that will take me directly to the work but this one guy noticed I cant walk and he said I cant repair but I can take You for a someone who can, I said I actually can not be late, He said okey. How come I could believe We gonna be on time but I was lucky again as there were some kind of a strajk and I was more than able to be late that day. The excuse was not my sandal but the government. Coming back to this nice boy, He took me for a long road I was scarred at times I was prepared to jump out off His motorbike.

He took me to a mini market place that I have never been in there but they only had new sandals to buy and I didn't take any money for that I needed to have the one for a transport in case. He took me back to another guy and finally I had it repaired arrived so late and I was moved from my place to a showroom this time nobody actually did care because they were having very important clients and had very successful day.

We with my new coworker that time actually didnt need to do anything I literally ordered food and took a nap on the floor as I couldn't stand it all was so hot. I literally didn't even start the work if the order was not in there after three months of working at least that was my number one rule.

First food later I can move my brain but I actually usually was finished before the afternoon with the first task. When You have five bosses You need to work quite fast because just when You finished something there is already something new to go with and it is really cool to work that way until they really pay You for it all as a human, not a trainee.

They even hire a girl She became my best friend so that I will train and tell her everything about all that I do in there but quickly they realized as it was impossible I was different She was different too. Our school our mind and our culture ,It was what was making us, Us. Different kind of a human inside and outside what was uniting us was the love to life to another and our creativity a completely different way I was in love in her creative mind It was inspiring me so much I asked Her to take me for Her school because I literally never saw something similiar in my life in real from what She has showed me at that time and I was from Academy of Fine Art, haha.

And She really did take me in there, guess what after some years She still had my phone number and invited me to Her wedding but I was already on another continent in a different culture discovering myself in a different kind of way.

Sorry for my English I need to edit with time and space when I am in the travel mood back in another space the place of knowing I am forgetting the whole even the language itself so please be patient and come back in here with time I will try to edit so the reader can chill :)