Seeking Arrangement

Well in October i went on Seeking Arrangement.I was dry on money. As an underemployed disabled person i really needed some income. It's not fun being under-employed and receiving disability allowance. I hated it. I did not want to ask my parents for money. I could go back on OnlyFans but it was too awkward to buy more lingerie and sex toys when my finances were limited. Also to shoot more content at home would be super awkward and it would cause ramifications with my mother who would never agree with the idea because she dislikes the idea of young people doing sex work whenever if it's online or in person meet ups.

Well on the site i met a woman who was a business owner in South Australia, she was 19 years older than me.Well she wanted me to be her sugar baby and form a serious relationship even though we live interstate and we never met.She told me to get into my ATO account and make her as my partner in a relationship. She kept pushing boundaries and she was very persistent.I asked " why are making me tell the tax department to say i'm your partner even though we never met?".I was talking to another man around her age called ' Matt' and he told me not to do it because it does not feel right at all. Another man said the same thing, he was a total creep but his advice was right too. Why would i be responsible for someone's debt if i am not really their partner in an intimate and emotional relationship. My centrelink was hacked multiple times and i had my bank account changed a few times.

The lady was a total b***h. She accused me of being defensive and rude. This lady was an American who moved to Australia in 1994 when she was 15 years old.She missed the USA and she did business trips interstate and in the United States. She told me to close my account and not to find anymore sugar daddies. She wanted me all to herself. That was a red flag she was displaying controlling behaviour even though we never met. To make things right she should caught a flight to the Gold Coast and meet me instead of showing these signs of controlling behaviour. She said that men can be strange on the site and she said it's more safer if i had a female sugar mama.

She was right and she had a point but i was not going to stick to her because of her attitude and her controlling behaviour. I had to make my own judgement. Next i started talking to a guy who was very close to my parents age, he was 56 years old. Just a year younger than my father. He is older enough to be my dad. He was a business man i assumed because of his flexibility around his work.He wanted to meet up in a hotel in the following afternoon and have a drink in the lobby first. Another creepy man told me not to go there and because he will have sex with me drunk. He also believed that he would not pay me. He was creepy too but he had a point. I knew sugar arrangements involve sex but people are not capable consenting if they have alcohol in the bloodstream. It's more easier to rape a woman when they are drunk.

I did not go to the hotel the next day and i started talking to this other creepy guy on the phone but he started to push boundaries and i went great lengths to risk my safety because i thought i was going to get paid.I asked for the payment beforehand but he thought it was a scam and he wanted genuine. I understood where he was coming from because some women ask for payment then ghost them before the promised meet up. Some women do this for safety reasons as they do not want to meet up with creeps online but the guy may feel used by knowing promises are broken. He said he will pay me $300 dollars per meet and i had a gut feeling he was never going to pay me so that's why i asked for payment beforehand.

I did not want to go all the way to Brisbane just in case something happened.He kept insisting that i need to go there instead of him meeting me on the Gold Coast. I wished that he would meet me at a public location on the Gold Coast.I was so worried and anxious for my own safety. He did not understand i was worried for my own safety and he told me i can stay the night over at his home. I was not interested staying at his home his vibes over the phone and text made me very anxious. Because he promised to pay me , i took the risk to go Brisbane. I lied to my mum that i was meeting a guy around my age on Hinge. I did not want my mum to be worried because i wanted to make my own judgement and plan my safety strategies when i felt uncomfortable in a situation.

As i had my own safety concerns because i felt he wasn't very %100 empathetic and crossed the boundary line when i told him in advance that i didn't want to go to his home after dinner. I arranged a support worker to pick me up at 9.30pm to drive me home. I could have booked her much earlier. He kept touching me in his flat and he insisted we can have sex. I did not want to but i did it because i needed to paid. He was a terrible kisser and i was not attracted to him sexually. I felt really dirty and uncomfortable after the sexual request and he kept touching me even though we were watching television.

He was a very career oriented 40 year old guy and he was from Sri Lanka. Successful men think they have the right to cross boundaries with young women who are struggling with money. He told me once that i was too much drama and i needed to find someone else. I should of took his comment as a red flag. Now i realise he was a misoguyistic prick. Most successful men and women are narcissists when it comes to sugar dating. To students and low socio economic earners looking for side incomes please choose to go online for your own safety and not to look for offline modes of sex work.But operating online increases the risk of your families finding out.

He was on his I-pad and i found a moment to leave without giving him a reasonable excuse. I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to leave a risky situation that could get worse as i did not want him to touch me sexually. I knew from the start he was a total creep who just wanted me to f*** him for free.I got out from the apartment building and when i was outside he kept calling me. I told him i that i needed to leave early and i told him that he needed to pay me. I felt so ashamed and guilty for trusting him. But i was so happy i paid the driver via my NDIS funds and have a plan B. To make the night better i lined up at an Italian gelato place and got sorbet. I chose a random location in the city because she needed a certain location. So chose an hotel building.

There was crazy miscommunication on the phone. But we sorted it out. I wanted to stop meeting people from Seeking Arrangement. But i started talking to a man who lived a mile away from me again after this chaos because he was busy with business meetings and i was busy with TAFE/ casual work. I was scared for my safety at the start meeting him at his house.But eventually i had the gut feeling he was not creepy and he was quite mature for someone who is 18 years older than me. We negotiated on an allowance because he is out of work and he sold his business to someone else.I was happy with it because you need to be understanding of other peoples financial situations and i was quite empathetic to it. I gave him time but i did not want to talk to him too much.

If you want to find the right sugar daddy never ask him to make him pay you more. Be grateful and be empathetic. Because rich people have trouble paying taxes, staying afloat with their money as they have a larger mortage and payments. They may have to pay child support if they have kids from a previous relationship.

I changed my safety strategies because i had a gut feeling he was going to be nice enough.Since he lived a mile away from me, i knew it was better cause he was closer as i could call someone just in case i did not feel comfortable with him.We talked again a bit about what happened in our lives and he messaged me out of the blue when i finished TAFE and the teacher Stuart Smith was supposed to be at Southport to meet us for an Court Tour. The courtroom was boring as i could not hear what was going on. Sadly TAFE told our teacher he was not allowed to come as he was told to be on Zoom. He planned the whole thing.

I did not want to hang around southport as there is so many bogans around southport. So i went with his plan. He was horny and lonely. Stressed from business dealings and calls from his lawyer.His daughter was out with friends for the day.His name is Matt. That's his fake name on this site vocal to cover his identity. It was not right for me to be his house when his daughter was around. His daughter is 10 years younger than me.

It would be very shocking for his teenager daughter to know her father is receiving sexual favours from a much young woman.He was not older enough to be my dad anyways.So it would be not right at all to see him if she was around the home.It was the right timing.I would feel embarrassed if i found out my own father had a secret bond with a sugar baby.Because i watched the show your mum, your dad and Darren confessed he went on Seeking arrangements to the parents and he said the biggest age difference was 34 years just 4 years younger than his daughter. His daughter was so mortified he was a sugar daddy.

We had great banter after i cycled to his home. We had a great chat and we ate chips from the local cafe. He had healthy co parenting arrangements with his ex partner and i liked hearing that because that was the opposite with my parents and my relationship with my dad. I grew up in an environment when the toxic cycle of domestic violence was normalised and child abuse was also normalised. Also, my parents co parenting arrangements were not healthy either. I'm happy they don't talk.

He said it was not up to him on where his daughter wants to stay with. I feel that is the right thing to do because minors have that right to choose when parents are separated. He was much more mature than my dad as i assumed.He had a much healthier co parenting arrangements with his ex. Told me his grandfather passed away 6 months ago and he was 94 when he died. To my shock his pop was the same age as my mum's father born in 1927. The pop was 53 when his grandson was born in 1980 so i assumed that the pop had one of his parents young.

My mum and my grandfather had kids in their mid 30's so my grandpa had my mum when he was 36 and my mum had me at 35. Hence, my grandfather was 71 when i was born so me and his 2 grandkids don't remember him because we were so young when he passed away in 2004.

He was expecting a call from his lawyer that day so he invited me to go on the lounge and he took his underwear off. He said " I hope you are okay with me taking off my pants off". He laid down on the couch and i started sucking his penis and he gave me a lot of good feedback. Relaxing and moaning. He asked me if i was 24 and i said "yes". He told me to take off my top and my bra off , then he started touching my boobs and wanted my boobs to play with his penis.His penis became more hard. I kept sucking and he cum's at the end when he touched his penis as i did not want to swallow semen.He went to the bathroom and cleaned the semen off his penis.

I was laying down waiting when he went to the bathroom. A guy cannot stay hard after they produce sperm. So he told me to finish my chips and he heated them on the microwave. We had a short chat before leaving. We said goodbye and he said it's good to catch up.He said over text he will message me when it's time to catch up again but he is in a very bad mood because of his accountant and receiving a big tax bill. He is angry about his personal overload.Again i did not want to pressure him into meeting up again so quickly so i showed some empathy towards his financial situation. He needed to sort it out before meeting up again and messaging me for another meetup.

He gave me $200 for the first meetup.I was about to spend on xmas presents but i changed my mind. I did not want to spend it straightway on materialistic things because never rely on a sugar daddy for that. I feel it's rude. Men love women with brains.I would prefer to buy expensive bags and shoes with my hard earned money.I live near pacific fair shopping centre and the luxury stores are so tempting.

I wanted to invest sensibly into my money such as a course. I do have feelings for him but i do not think he's the right person for me cause of the age difference. I never wanted to tell my mum and dad as they may stop me from meeting up with him or talking to him.I have anxiety around men. I could buy him a gift for xmas as he is very grateful giving me money.But a part of me says don't do it because i have been hurt by a guy closer to my age i liked in the past by giving him gifts.He secretly liked the gifts but he was not into me and he was a total dick to me.

I think he gave me the money to lure me to have a strong sexual bond with with him. Remember this was consentual because i enjoyed it because he was nicer enough than the other weirdos i have encoutered on the site. I would never did a sexual activity if a guy told me if there was any alcohol or drugs involved because i may not consent to it and men think they have a better chance with you if you are drunk.Happened to me when i was 19.

When i vented out to Matt that i suffered from child abuse and i never felt i was good enough for my dad. My father hit me with a belt when i was much younger at 13. I suffered a lot of narcisstic abuse from my dad. But when he told me back that he hit with a belt many times when he was growing up. I feel sorry for him. I feel both of us have painful child abuse memories in common. His parents may be wealthy and I assume his dad did the belt beating towards his son. Men who beat up their children up with a belt are actually narcissists and they set up PTSD to their children.We have this in common.

Sugar daddies and sugar babies have different needs. So you have to be careful young ladies i don't want you to get hurt.Some of these men could be single dads and they need their sexual needs met apart from a busy lifestyle and a successful business or a job. Men go on this site for sex and they can have the money and the power to have beautiful women to meet up with them, lure them with gifts and money.

It's not safe and exploitaive but if you feel comfortable and safe being in the person's presence if the sex is agreeable and he's helping you with money.Also he does not make you do anything you do not want to do. You rarely meet a nice person who does this and set boundaries. Stay realistic and be true to myself.

In a rare situation you may meet a man who will teach you a lesson in a good way. It teaches how a guy around your age is supposed to treat you.

I felt bad taking Matt's $200 dollars and i felt so gulity taking the money as he owes a lot of money and he is in debt. My anxiety hit the roof. I have an anxiety disorder. I care for him even though he was'nt the right person to date with because of the aged difference. He texted me on What app and he said that i earned that money but he is not doing arrangements with anyone until he gets some stuff sorted out.

My review of Seeking Arrangement

• The website is full of weirdos.
• A lot of older men and women with successful careers do prey on young or men who come from lower socioeconomic status. They may push you into things you do not want to do or forcibly encourage you to have sex against your will.They may not listen to your feelings and boundaries.
• I'm 24 i have more social awareness when it comes to online dating compared to someone who's in their late teens and fresh out of high school. I know many men are weirdos on the site.Women who have limited income need the money. People can be real sick heads and you need to know the risks of joining the site. Ask friends for advice if you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents about this topic/website and recognise the red flags earlier on before you get involved in big trouble.
• Sex trafficking is a real possibility but it's different to sex work when both parties are comfortable. Prostitution ( sex for money) is also a possibility but do not get involved in paid sexual activity if you do not feel comfortable with the person and the sexual chemistry is not there. Also, never get involved in that if a man does not pay you (only if you are sex worker) , gives you drugs and alcohol.
• Drugs/alcohol gives women the lack of capacity to consent to sex. When a man pays you that means he's respecting you as a person depending on the situation and if the sex is consental. Sex work is okay if the sex and the payment is consental.Sex without payment is rape if the sugar daddy is not supporting you finacially.
• I would say not all sugar daddies are creepy. Some are quite respectful and friendly. You may be very lucky to find a nice sugar daddy in the long term or short term. But never rely on them forever use your money very wisely.
• I do regret going on seeking arrangements but i found a nice sugar daddy anyways who is kind and empathetic. I would never advise anyone to go on the site but i will not never victim blame a young person for being so naive and stupid for putting themselves in a high risk situation because they needed the money for university or other life expenses. Because they were doing sex work for a reason.
• Young people are more likely to be financially stressed and worry about their finances more than older people. That's why they make an income from sex work the short term due to their parents dismay and try to be a responsible adult even though the parents and some oldies don't agree how they are making their money.It's never a win -win situation.The cost of living and study fees put pressure on young people not to rely on their parents.
• It's not safe. Men can unpredictable.
• Ugly family ramifications can happen if you rely on other sources on income that your parents don't agree on depending on what type of income you are making.