Scrapbooking in Silence

Because of COVID-19 and a chronic illness this past year my life has been slow, and I mean slow. Going from being a full time musician to suddenly being at home 24/7 was an adjustment that changed how I thought about my life and how my 20s were going to be. For the first time in my life, I had to hit pause and think about myself and ultimately, how I would find happiness in my life.

I didn't like the idea of keeping a diary, delving deep into my darkest thoughts. I hated my writing. I wanted something that could be a cathartic release, an expression of my life so far, the people I have met and the places I have seen, immortalised in one place.

Never being artistically inclined, I didn't know where to start. But digging through the paper trash one day, I found remnants of beauty: articles, magazines, from places I once knew. That sparked something in me.

Completing the puzzle was a beautiful journal that my closest friend in the world decided to mail me. I felt inspired, sad, and needy all at once to do something that would help the time pass by in between all the emails of job applications, Masters coursework and chores that seemed to go on and on.

I wanted to see and remember the blessings I had forgotten about, remember how to be grateful again and explore different ways to be creative.

I found my long abandoned Washi tape stash from high-school and began experimenting with colour, images. I was inspired by accounts such as @letterleuchten that seemed so refined but an explosion of colour and fun, and slowly but surely I came out of my depressive bubble and began to feel the joy of childhood again.

I found many other doors opening because of my scrapbooking. Something that started as a little way to find happiness, inspired me to write again: songs, poetry, music, you name it. I also learnt to cook, to play three new instruments, and found a job writing music articles.

When I scrapbook, I like making things that look good and are more interesting to look at than a photo album. I'm not a storyteller, so I let the pictures, colours and experiences I remember do the storytelling with their sense of place and tone.

I sometimes think my scrapbook is a piece of me that is like a tiny piece of history, something that will exist as a reminder I was here. I want to be able to remember not just what the photo tells me, but how I was feeling, what the place the photo was in smelled like, why we were taking pictures etc. And scrapbooking can give a photo all that context. It's almost a way for me to hoard memories. I scrapbook because I want everything inside of me to come out and be transferred into something tangible. And I want to relive it again and again with the turn of a page.

One of the things I like most about scrapbooking as a hobby is that there is no right or wrong way to scrapbook. It's very freeing. You have the freedom to please yourself and don't have to worry about what others might think.

As someone who works in the performing arts, being able to do something artistic in such a personal, unassuming and low key way helps me stay grounded. There is no judgement in scrapbooking, just something that really does "spark joy" and help me go on.

Scrapbooking is such a simple, little thing. A little dose of happiness that has got me through this year, and something I don't plan to stop anytime soon.