Reflection

And so we come to the end. And so we come to the beginning.

This past year came with sky high highs and shockingly deep emotional lows that I don't want to delve too deeply into. But especially the second half of it was extremely rough on me personally. However, Vocal has asked that I do some reflection on 2023 and asked what my goals and aspirations for 2024 are. So let's do that.

I joined Vocal in February 2023 and could not be happier with my experience thus far. I've met some truly incredible people like Rob Angeli, Donna Fox, Mackenzie Davis, Kayleigh Fraser, Dana Crandall, Dharrsheena Raja Segarran, and L.C. Schäfer who have made this year one of the best I've ever had.

Each of them are so incredibly supportive, kind, and skilled in their craft. I'm deeply honoured to have been recognized and accepted by such wonderful and creative humans. I highly recommend following the imbedded links and subscribing to each of them if you haven't already. With the sad exception of Rob who has left the site for his own reasons.

On the subject of subscribers, wow! I somehow managed to reach over 100 of you lovely people! So, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I always thought I would reach that number eventually, but this is years ahead of how long I thought it was going to be. You are all amazing, and I can't wait to earn your attention in the coming year.

100 people subscribed to me, and over 1,200 reads is more than I could have possibly imagined earning in so short a time. And not quite 12 months is far too short a time to spend among such excellent and estimable Hobbits. Thank you all so much for taking a chance on one sad Canadian boy, I hope you have and continue to enjoy my work.

Now, the question of achievements from the past year arises. What have I accomplished? Well, apart from the monumental subscriber and read counts I've received, I was also lucky enough to earn 8 Top Stories this year! What a wild idea that is.

I remember looking with envy at all the Top Stories during my infancy on this site, hoping that one day something I wrote would be discovered and considered high enough quality to be showcased there. My first story to earn this honour was 'Growing up Big' written to commemorate the launch of the Men community 7 months ago.

This was a deeply personal story about my struggles growing up as a boy who was significantly larger than average. We are not accommodated well in school and often given very short shrift by the administration, because we have a bad habit of being somewhat intimidating - through no fault of our own. Even as an adult, being 195cm (6 foot 5 inches) tall is more of a detriment than a positive in my life.

And the response I got to that was out of this world.

In real life, the squishy place that's not on Vocal where food exists, my story is met with derision and hate. Most people are too locked into their own biases to treat other people as human, instead boiling them down to fit their own prejudices and fighting tooth and nail to maintain them. But here? For the first time ever, I received nothing but affirmations.

That, more than any amount of therapy I could have, proved to me that people can be kind. They can be understanding. They can, if they so choose, be accepting of people different to themselves. What a wonderful thing to learn and experience!

I also, keeping the good vibes rolling, won second place in the Vocal Writing Awards Challenge! My science fiction story 'Holy Terra' is one of my favourite pieces, and though it wasn't the one I expected to do so well, I couldn't be happier that it placed so high! Thank you all so much for your support, I can't properly express how much that means to me.

If you haven't read it yet, then please feel free to do so and let me know what you think :)

Now then, on let's turn away from the past and look into the murky darkness of the future! Thank you to Vocal for giving me some ideas about what to write here, I'm not the best at outlining goals and aspirations for myself, so their list of prompts was invaluable.

How has the past year on Vocal shaped your goals for 2024?

This past year has taken my love for fiction to a whole new level. With all of the support and affirmations that I've received so far, I have more confidence in my writing than ever before. So, for this year, I want to see that trend continue if I can. I want to write more and better to ensure that I am giving the people who have gifted me their attention the best content that I can.

Of course, winning the Awards Challenge put the taste of victory in my mouth and spurred me on to greater things. Not every challenge speaks to me, and for some of them, I just can't get the words to flow in time. But I want to push myself to join even more of them than I did in 2023.

And, of course, I want to win. I want my stories to be of a quality that our overlords in the curation department think I'm worthy of the honour of placing first. There's only so much I can do to make that a reality, but it's my mission to give my all to everything I do. And, naturally, write all the more to help my skills reach the point where I'm happy with everything I release, win or not.

This past year has also inspired me to try and get more of my friends writing and publishing on the site. Many of them prefer long form writing, which doesn't do as well here, but I believe that if they took this opportunity to practice, they will get every benefit that I have this past year. Also, it'll be fun to nerd out with them over the challenges when they come up.

So those are my goals. If possible, if the simmering brain cauldron that my creativity spills out of allows, I want to not let a week go by without publishing something. I want to improve my craft to the point that the curation gods grant me favour and even the golden laurels if I can.

2023 gave me the confidence to share even the pieces I'm less sure of, and those have often times gotten the best response from my readers and the new friends this platform allowed me to make. So, in 2024, I want to use that newfound confidence to push myself to new heights, scary as that might be fore someone as risk averse as myself.

Is there a specific piece you want to finish?

Oh goodness. Where to start with this one. Since February last year, I've been tinkering with a story that I call 'An Ocean Aflame.' Those of you who have read some of my other journal style pieces, may recognize that name. It is my beloved horror brain child I have never been able to give life. This year that is going to change. I will finish it, and I shall be happy with it, and you will hopefully like it as much as I do.

Many of my readers will remember that some months ago I published a request for advice in the critique community for a story called Crossroads. It remains in development Hell, sadly, but I swear to the gods of creation that it shall be finished before my next birthday in May. Quite the long timeframe I know, but I've been really struggling with it. The words... they just do not want to flow.

Finally on my list of independent stories I want to finish, a little number I call 'Deep Dive.' This one is far from ready enough even to ask for critiques, despite the amount of words and thought I've already poured into it. It shall be done this year, but I'm not 100% sure when. Though I already know what I want to happen, I'm as yet no closer to figuring out how I want it to happen. There are so many possibilities, and honestly, I'm struggling to make any one of them work at the moment. But hey, nearly 12 months is a nice long time for me to figure it out, eh?

Also, there is my series - can I call one entry a series? Oh well - my aspirational series 'The Dominion' that I also want to put to rest. I wrote the first entry in something of a fugue state, but I love the world I started to forge there, and can't wait to see where it leads me next. I doubt I'll get it done very quickly, but I refuse to leave 2024 without having brought it to its climactic conclusion. Brain cauldron be damned. I need to get it done.

On the topic of projects started and not finished, 'Descent' is one that has a few entries, but I really need to buckle down on and finish up. I think I'm about at the halfway point? But that's just a guess, since my total lack of outlining means that the story is almost as much a surprise to me as it is to any of you. It was originally begun as part of an unofficial challenge that Donna Fox put together, and I really want to see it through. The Estimable Mackenzie Davis helped me out with it, and I hope to see her again as the story continues.

Apologies, Mackenzie, if my entries have muddied the waters on how to continue it. I kinda forgot that this was a shared enterprise and went off on quite the cosmic horror tangent. This is an other one that I flatly refuse to leave unfinished this year. It will be done, and it will be fun. I hope it'll be great, but that's for the rest of you to decide :)

The final series I want to complete is one that I technically haven't started yet. Inspired by Donna Fox's Graveyard Challenge. Thanks to a conversation I had with Donna herself, I wrote the short story 'Delver' but the idea cauldron was still churning. And so I've started the process on a longer series called 'Archive' that I will finish this year. I swear it.

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So that's it. My reflection on the year gone by and hopes for the one yet to come. Thank you again for being such a wonderful community, I can't wait to see what wonders your imaginations bring this year.

All the best,

Alex